Out of the Dark

As a handmade artist, there have been moments where I have lacked inspiration and motivation. But only momentarily. For a day, for a week. Nothing a little mini vacation or break couldn't remedy. For the past few months I've meditated, prayed, begged for the inspiration to come back. Tried to dig deep to remember the ways I once triggered it. Nothing.

This year has been a very trying year for our family. A year of struggle, of year of financial instability, a year of loss, a year of heartbreak. And somewhere in between all of that I lost my motivation and inspiration. And for me, that was unbelievably scary. For someone who has  spent the last 20 years of her life creating and sadly can't find the will to even step into her workspace, it really does a number on your psyche.

Seven weeks ago we found out we are pregnant with baby number two. We learned about our little blessing after we had decided that we were happy with our family of three. We were no longer going to try to grow our family. Two long years of disappointment, failed attempt after failed attempt, trips to the hospital for hopeful medical procedures followed by trips to the hospital for hopeless procedures... nights spent talking to my husband, questioning why? And just as many nights spent painfully not talking about it.

We gave up the fight and a huge weight was lifted. One month later, I was surprised with the present of nausea, morning after unbelievable morning. Truly a baffling gift.

God is funny that way.

Now that I'm in my second trimester I'm beginning to recognize myself again. I'm no longer chained to my bed. No longer walking around the house aimlessly, yet with plenty to do. Desperate to get back that inspiration. To move on, to move forward, to truly cherish and run with this amazing second adventure we've been given.

Depression is a hole, a drowning darkness. So many things were lost in that darkness this year. My love for creating, even my love for music. My care for keeping up with relationships. My appearance even. My kindle full of books sat untouched for ages, its battery left dead. My kitchen and love for cooking, rusty. Everything I loved became dusty. I couldn't shown my face in public. Being an extremely private person when it comes to the less than happy parts of my life, I became a recluse. For those friends who stuck around, who understood that whatever it was I was going through, I'd be back. For that I'm forever thankful. 

Today I'm in my workspace. My cluttered, colorful, bead-laden workspace. The window is open and natural light is pouring through. KLove is streaming through the computer speakers, reminding me that there's hope and a new day waiting to be LIVED.

Jillry Holiday Event Schedule

Vintage Jewelry Sale
Online at the Jillry page
Tuesday, November 1st at 8pm

Adopt a Family Holiday Raffle
For the Sherrod Family
November 7th - 11th
Features wonderful gift items being raffled off to benefit a family in need. 100% of the proceeds go to the Sherrod Family. Winners announced Friday, November 11th.

LOCAL Holiday Shopping Spree
Saturday, November 12 • 10:00am - 2:00pm

In the Central area
*This is held at a friend's house but is open to my fans. You're invited!! Just email me at JillryLove@gmail.com for address and directions. **TRUNK SHOW COUPON for 10-20% OFF if you come & shop Jillry at this event! (can be used in either Nov. or Dec. shows online.)

November "Black Tuesday" Trunk Show
Online at the Jillry page
November 29th
First posting at noon, second at 8pm
***CHRISTMAS BUNDLES AVAILABLE!!***

PLEASE NOTE: Seeing as the November Trunk Show will be held in late November and will be an OBNOXIOUSLY HUGE show, I won't be throwing a trunk show in December. I will, however, still be posting lots of pretties for sale both on the Jillry page and in my online shop (www.JillryLove.com) for you last minute Christmas shoppers. :)

Where will I be the rest of December?
Spending some much needed time with my family. Last year Baby Beau was just 4 months old when we celebrated his first Christmas and kept things low key. This year he'll be able to really enjoy the festivities and we plan on making a lot of wonderful memories. :)Big thanks to you, my customers, for making this a truly amazing holiday season. xoxo

Our First Family Vacation

It was a weekend of firsts.

Baby's first trip to the beach.
First time on sand. First time in the ocean.
First trip out of state.
First time to drink out of a straw!

But wait, I'm getting ahead of myself... ;) I'll spare the chit chat and tell our story with just a few photos. Okay, so maybe more than a few. (I can't help it, I'm smitten and have no control when it comes to this kid.)

All in all, a great first vacation. We can't wait till next summer.


















First time in the sand. When he saw it, he promptly sat down and began playing.


















































































Daydreaming.

Our baby is ONE!

To celebrate, we had a party and then soon after, an amazing photoshoot with Lindsey Whitty of mustard.seed.photography.

Oh that girl sure knows how to capture the sweetness of our bebe.

Of course, he was on his best behavior. A little shy, very observant and eyes wide. Nothing was getting past him. His first target? The birthday ballons Lindsey had brought as possible props. She sent them home with us and I caught the boy biting into one two days later. *shaking head* But wait, we were talking about his good behavior...


















That smile. Gets me every time. I do believe his father's smile has the same effect. *sigh* Yep, I'm out-numbered. (And lovin' it.)

See? Those wide eyes, just bursting with curiousity and innocence. Wish I could bottle it. Stop time. Keep him on my hip and rock him to sleep every night. I'm sure he'll start protesting one of these days, I just hope not before junior high. ;)

So these are just sneak peeks. We're dying to see the rest.

Be back soon. Until then. xo

An Entire Year, Gone

Where has the time gone? I promised myself I would blog about life with baby and I have failed. Though in my writing's absence there is a heart full, a cup runneth over, an entire year of joy, experience, love and occasionally, chaos.

It's not too late to start, this I tell myself when I feel the guilt creeping in. It's not.

I am a different woman now. Not better or worse. Just... different. Life has a way of hardening us in certain areas, smoothing us in others. I have definitely been subject to both. And I like who I am... as a wife, an artist, and best of all, a mommy.

He is the best part of me. Of us.















He is gentle. Running up to me after long concentration on a new toy, patting my face and climbing into my lap with a big grin when he remembers I'm sitting there watching.

He is passionate. Points with gusto at what he wants and throws his body when we don't understand. (We are getting better at knowing though!)

He is hilarious. Peeking around the corner to give Mommy one of his cute faces. Mimicking Daddy. Dancing to his cartoons, our singing and even thunder. Flirting with cashiers, waitresses, and random strangers in grocery lines.

He is happy. Always smiling. Always laughing. At play. Before naps. In the bath. Before nigh-night. Hugging and giving kisses freely, especially in the mornings during snuggle time. I'd like to believe it's partly because of us, who we are to him: his father and I. That makes my heart sing.

And this joy of ours, he's already one. One! I just had him, didn't I? But, it can be re-worded to lessen the blow of an entire year, gone. Only one year old. Only one year passed. Just one year together.

We have so much more. <3

Trunk Show Shopping Guide

TRUNK SHOW DATE: MARCH 15th!!

Hi ladies,

For those of you that are new to shopping in a Jillry Online Trunk Show, here's a run-down of what to expect:

~ Loads of new jewelry will be posted throughout the day on Tuesday, March 15th in a photo folder labeled TRUNK SHOW. If you see a piece of jewelry that you would like to purchase, simply leave a comment under the photo to claim it as yours. "Mine", "I want this", "for me please" - anything of the sort will do. First come, first served, so the person who comments first receives the item.

~ Sounds easy right? You only need one ability to shop the show: speed. Yes, you heard me. I lovingly call my Jillry fans that shop my Trunk Shows "vultures". So if you see something you want, comment to claim before its gone. I will have duplicates of some items and if you see something you like and missed out on it, simply ask if I can make or order another of the piece. Never hurts to ask!

~ ATTENTION: All jewelry photos will have details of the piece underneath. Facebook has a delay so please be patient, the details will show.

~ At the end of the day on Tuesday, the Trunk Show will officially end. When you are ready to check out, simply post a comment to the Jillry Fan Page wall with your email address. Feel free to comment to check out anytime before the show's end if you would like to beat the rush. I send invoices in order of comments received.

~ Payment: I accept Paypal. Once you a ready to check out, I will send an invoice to your email address. If you do not have a Paypal account you can still pay your invoice with a debit or credit card. This is a safe and secure process that I have been using for 10+ years. PLEASE NOTE: Payment must be received within 48 hours of invoice. If payment is not received, your items will be relisted.

~ Shipping: Shipping starts at $2.25 and rarely do I ship a package over $3. Packages are priced by weight and shipped via First Class USPS. These shows can get really big and out of hand and its just little ole me running the business. I'm the jewelry designer, photographer, photo editor, communications and packing department. Add a sweet baby boy at home with me on top of that. :) That said, please allow 2-3 days after payment is made for your order to be processed and shipped. However, the longer you wait to check out the further along in the line you'll be and it may take up to 4 days before your order is shipped. Purchases are shipped in the order in which they are paid for. Thank you in advance for your patience! xo

~ Please be fair. If you do not plan to pay for the items you comment on, do not comment. Not only does this throw my inventory log off, it takes that item away from a fan who really wanted it in their jewelry box.

~NEW: Facebook has privacy features that allow members to hide all feed from others, for example, they may comment on a photo but you won't see their comment due to the level of privacy they have set on there account. That said, in some cases it may appear that you won an item you commented on and there could be a hidden commenter just before yours that won it. This doesn't happen often, but I had problems last show with it and wanted to give everyone a heads up. Thanks!

Questions? Just ask! Look, I have to be a stickler on payment policies, fairness and such but please know that these shows are all about having fun. I'm a friendly jewelry addict turned designer from the south that loves getting to know her fans. I've made some of the best girlfriends through these shows. Without my fans I wouldn't be able to do what I love for a living and believe me, I'm aware of that! So please, don't think I'm a stuffy business woman - consider me just another jewelry lover like yourself. And, thank you. :)

****I throw these shows once a month and give plenty of notice before. I will also give everyone a heads up 10 - 20 minutes or so before posting jewelry so everyone can be ready to comment.***

Love and hugs,

xo Jill Corkern
Creator of Jillry

Finding my balance

It's 8:35 a.m. My sweet 6 month old bebe boy has gone down for his morning nap and I'm up, perky and feeling bright. Which would not have been the case last month with the night I had last night.

Midnight: Beau wakes up screaming, not crying, but screaming in his crib. I stumble, clouded in a daze to take care of him. PapaBear follows. A bottle and an hour of rocking/soothing/shushing later, he's finally sleeping soundly. This morning I vaguely remember Baber patting me on the back while I leaked a few tears of hurt and frustration. Last month I would have crawled back in bed during his morning nap because of last night, but not today. Because today, I have my balance.

Though it has taken 6 months, I do believe its here to stay. This balance, that is. There are books about pregnancy, nursing, raising baby, sleep methods. And I have them all. But the one book I could have used was one on how to balance life with baby at home and run a business full time. That book could have really saved me some heartache.

However, I know in my heart that this is the best way to have found it. Not by a book, on my own through trial(s) and (many) error(s). Sure, it took 6 months but I am stronger now. I am wiser now. Focused. Determined. Rested. I have been through the tough nights and slammed days, juggling pages of custom orders, trunk shows, local events all while trying my damnedest to be the best mommy to this precious baby boy of mine. Learning his needs, his wants, how to water him and grow him. I'm glad I went through the battle or else I wouldn't appreciate how far we've come, how much we've grown. How beautiful my little family is.

Last month I shut down. I told my loving, supportive husband "I can't do this anymore." I re-evaluated my life. I sat myself down on the outside and looked in: how was my family benefiting from a stressed out, exhausted wife and mother? Why would my husband *want* to come home to a frazzled wife? Why *wouldn't* Beau be a little fussy if his mommy was obviously unhappy? It occured to me that if I break, the rest of my family is going to be hugely affected by it.

So as some of you made have read, I put Jillry on part time. I'm working on cleaning and organizing my craft room and making it my Inspiration Room again. I'm going back to my true love of hand-crafting jewelry. When Beau naps, I work. I fix my hair and put on make up. (It feels good to feel pretty again.) I clean the lovely home we work so hard for. I prepare meals, grocery lists, do laundry. When Beau is up, I am not allowed to even *think* about work. Our time is our time, just mother and son. There is no room in my heart for anything else during those hours.

I am taking better care of myself now. Sure, I still take army showers but I recognize when I need a break and I ASK for it. And I know that my husband is crazy supportive and a wonderful father, but for some reason I felt like I didn't deserve to say MY TURN. I need this. Its amazing how much you can change mentally when you decide that you are NOT last on the totem pole. That really, there is no totem pole. We, as mothers, create this imaginery thing and hang onto it. Yes, our children and husbands andeveryoneelseontheplanet tend to come before us with their wants and needs, but in the end - say it with me? - IF MOMMA AIN'T HAPPY, NOBODY IS HAPPY.

Did you giggle? Good.

Simplicity used to be my favorite word. Now, it is Balance.

The point of this post? *sigh* I missed writing so much. As I am sitting here in my pajamas, messy hair (but with a face of make up!) and to-do list in front of me, I am tingling. I am happy. I know my husband will read this and think "She's back" and damn it, just saying that brought tears to my eyes. I'm sure he misses the inspired side of me. The side of me that loves to sing my love for him from the roof tops.... I'm sorry Baber. I promise to do better. (I love you. FRANKS AND BEANS!)

Back to "the point" - I hope that another stay at home business mommy (or ANY working mommy!!) is reading this and finds comfort in it, hope even! And I hope she realizes that she CAN be everything she wants to be but that she just needs to find her balance. Its out there. I promise.

Balance. Maybe I finally found what my tattoo should be? Nah.... ;)