Funnies for the Sick-Minded

Don't worry, they're mostly G-rated. Haven't felt bloggy but wanted to spread the laughs.

Randomness

That's for you Kellers! Let us know how you're feeling when you come back to the blogasphere.

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I finally went to the library yesterday and brought home 8 books. Right now I'm reading Such a Pretty Girl by Laura Wiess. It got right into the story line, which I really appreciate, as I get bored super easy when it comes to reading. And as I've stated before, I really enjoy stories of human struggle and this one's based on the troubles of a 15 year old girl.

I have taken a look at Chunks library for inspiration and jotted down a few (as it seems we have the same taste),but I would like to know if anyone else has read any good books lately that have really stuck out to them as a great read. Send me your suggestions if you have any! Much appreciated.

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I'm a little embarrassed about posting this, but I feel I must be held accountable, and what a better way to do so than by posting about it on my blog. Here goes: I am going to my first WeightWatchers meeting this Thursday.

There. I said it.

I don't think I'm fat by any means, but I find that in the last couple of years my body has changed and I just basically want to drop 10-15 lbs so I can see the lean muscle again. *laughing* Walking and weights just don't give the same results as they used to and I want a plan that I can turn to for the rest of my life. My metabolism has slowed down too, as it tends to do for most women my age, so I'm also dealing with that.

A co-worker has already started and has shown me the basic plan and to be honest, it looks like fun! I'm crazy about cooking and nutrition already, so I think this will be really interesting (and hopefully pretty easy) for me.

So yeah, I'll probably track my progress on here for sh*ts and giggles, and so you guys can fuss at me if I fail (and I expect you to do so!) Just don't hound me about it, or I'll blog you out!
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Hope everybody's getting through their Monday okay!

Explosm Daily Funny

Out on the Town

I went out last night for a friend's birthday. She and I had dinner first and then met up with her sisters and a few friends after to see a live band and have a few drinks. I was surprised at how different it felt to be out in the bar scene, this time around being a taken women. And to be honest, its been a while since I've been out.

The first thing I noticed was how comfortable I felt. There was no pressure. I was comfortable in the sense that I wasn't tensed up, worrying about having to fend off "undesirables" (as LBB puts it) and wasn't worried about my girlfriends getting trashed and hooking up with some random guy to leave me finding a ride home (which didn't happen often in my single days, but I did happen a couple times none the less).

I felt calm as I sat back and watched my friend, the birthday girl, get hit on by some guy. I was entertained by the obvious hunt in front of my eyes with the men and women in the bar: 2-3 men huddled together with their beer, staring at a group of women dressed to the nines, just waiting for their time to pounce. Eventually the groups of men and women became mingled groups, and a little later those groups became couples. Surely the alcohol helped this process along.

Anyway, just observing. Even though I did have a lot of fun, I was happy when it was time to go home. When it comes down to it, I'm just a pajama-loving homebody.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Thursday Thirteen

(Before I collected a few readers, and before I gave him the url to my blog, I often found myself writing about my boyfriend. I’ve cut back on this a bit due to (I'm sure) the gag effect it has on some readers. I really felt inspired and decided to dedicate a Thursday Thirteen to him, especially after the amazing vacation we had together.

That was your warning. Turn back now if you're weak of stomach. ;)


13 Things I Love About Babers

1. His Baberlicious bod – tall and lean. You know what? If men can be superficial about this, so can I. *crossing arms* He’s tall, lean, and cut, and I still get butterflies when I look at him.

2. His love for the simple things in life. He’ll be the first to tell you that all he needs is a beer and to see something naked. I love a man who knows what he wants and doesn’t ask for the moon.

3. His boy smell. Yep, you heard me. The mixed smell of a man who’s either been working or playing hard mixed with that intoxicating cologne of his, I just can’t get enough of. The smell is not only sexy, but comforting, and I just love tucking into him and breathing his scent in.

4. His light-heartedness. I’m a very deep, emotional person who can sometimes wear her heart on her sleeve. When I’m upset about something, he always knows how to help me out of it or lighten things up. After a frustrating day of work, there’s nothing like Babers asking “You want me to rub your butt?” to make me laugh and put me in a better mood.

5. His acceptance and patience. I can get in really silly moods sometimes and he’ll laugh at me, probably even when I’m not that funny. When I get into my “what if?” moods, he’ll play along for a lot longer than I even expect him to. And when I’m in the mood to stir up a quarrel, he holds his ground and won’t give in.

6. He’s optimistic. He always sees the good in things. I’m more of the pessimist and he can usually change my mind about things with his outlook.

7. He folds my towels too. I wait until the weekends to do my laundry so we can do ours together in one hit when he comes home. He doesn’t have to, but he often folds my towels too (when I'm unaware in anothor room). And I love that. Even if he doesn’t fold my panties and puts them on his head instead.

8. He boils the best shrimpies. Okay, so this one is a little silly, but seriously – I can whip up a casserole like nobody’s business, but boiling seafood is not my greatest talent. I used to come from my old job late from meetings twice a month and many times he’d have a steaming pile of spicy boiled shrimp ready for me. Mmm, now my mouth is watering.

9. He’s a bad boy. Maybe not so much now, but he used to be. (And well, once a bad boy always a …) He has just enough tattoos to turn me on and facial hair for that rough-around-the-edges look I think is so sexy. And knowing he was a bad boy in his younger days makes me feel safe. Is that weird?

10. He’s an affection whore. I love that when we’re just hanging out at home, he’s constantly draping his monkey arms around me or trying to cop a feel. I’d so much rather swat hands away than wish for them.

11. His sick sense of humor. I’m finally able to let go and really be who I am around him. This also means watching The Office and Comedy Central together. And our shared favorite – doing and saying things to make people feel uncomfortable and watching them squirm. Yep, it’s a little sick to laugh at someone else’s expense, but its even sicker if your dating someone who loves it as much as you do.

12. He’s the perfect mix of quiet and loud. If I'm in a loud mood, he'll join right in with me. And sometimes his being loud provokes me into a crazy mood myself. And the best part, he knows the perfect moments to be quiet, like when I tell him to shut up. KIDDING! *snort*

13. His gaze. It can stop me in my tracks and turn my knees to mush, especially when I catch him looking at me when I'm in my own little world.


I love you baby! Hope this didn't embarrass you too much. *chika chika!*

Crazy Mannequins

Have you ever seen such a crazy looking mannequin before in your life?? Babers & I visited a resort on vacation that had pretty much any shop a retired woman living on the beach would want to frequent, as well as several bars for the husbands who were sadly dragged along for the ride. One of the shops had the most bizarre looking mannequins, and Babers would not hear of walking out the door without a good pic of them. So, we asked the clerk if we could take a pic with her manni and she replied "Sure. It's not the first time."

Now, I may not be a shopper (as noted in previous posts) but I do like eye candy. J was kind enough to indulge me a little in jewelry and accessory "looking" and escorted me in almost every single boutique the resort had. (Everybody now, "Awww Jaaaassssooonnn!") He knows its my dream to own a boutique and really got into talking about ideas and playing with all the neat items each owned with me. Painted martini glasses, personalized cutsie stationary, hand crafted jewelry, etc. - I was in artsy heaven!

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I developed the fun camera today and these are a few of my favorites. The rest I cannot share because they are close ups of J and I, and I simply do not want any of my fellow bloggers to become jealous of how hot we are in our swimming attire... *snort*

I really like this one. It reminds me of those photos they place in picture frames to sell in stores.

*whistle!* I am one lucky girl, huh?

A Bull named Cow

Oh yeah, you know those machines. They are strategically placed in the exits of Walmarts just to entice your children as you are trying to escape out the door. They rob your change pocket and disappoint your kids.

Or do they?


J and I were waiting on a table at a restaurant on our last night of vacation when one of these machines caught his eye.

"Want me to win an animal for you?" He asks me, all sugar coated.

"Yes please," I reply, looking underneath my eyelashes at him like a teenager at a festival with her new crush.

J puts in two quarters and asks me what stuffed prize I want.

"The cow," I say.

Can you believe he gets the damn stuffed cow it on the first try? Bystanders gasp, my mouth drops, he turns around looking at me almost like he's embarrassed at how easy it was.

"I've never seen that happen," says a woman standing beside me. I smile sheepishly and take the cow from him.
















The cow turned out to be great company.















Of course, I named her Cow. J says you can't name a male bull Cow and points out the animal's horns. And I did notice she doesn't have any utters either, but I still refer to Cow as a "her" while J refers to her as a "he".




















Anyways, she's a lively one. Drank us both under the table and could barely wait for J to get the second batch of margaritas out.

Goodbye Beach

Back from vacation.

Goodbye warm white sand, goodbye soothing waves, goodbye gulf winds and summer sun.

Goodbye lack of agendas, phone calls, and to-dos, goodbye lazy mornings on the balcony and evenings sipping margaritas.

Goodbye enjoying the silence with J, and the huge wasteful space of that king size bed.

Goodbye late night walks holding hands with my sweetie, making out under the stars while the water races up the shore to tickle our feet.

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.

Back to reality.

Feeling quite dreamy today, replaying the long weekend. Apart from the one evening I played photographer for my friend’s beach wedding, Babers and I spent most of our time doing absolutely nothing together and loved every minute of it. My favorite thing about vacation is the weightless feeling you get after crossing over your state line, knowing that for the next week (give or take a few days) you have zero responsibility. What’s your favorite part?

Hope everyone had a great weekend. Miss you guys.

A Whole Lot of NOTHING

This past weekend was H E A V E N. Babers and I trekked along the sand and water on the 4 wheeler Saturday and Sunday enjoying the calm of nature (and a slightly high river from all the rain), got a little tan on, talked to each other mostly in British accents on Saturday and hung out with friends while eating J's special recipe for the most delicious fried fish. Mmm!

Yesterday for Labor Day we did a b s o l u t e l y NOTHING. And loved every minute of it. This included a couple of tasks needy of about as much energy as a slug uses - trip to the grocery for humongous steaks and grilling said steaks. Before that we watched tv for about 3 hours straight, and after dinner for another 3-4 hours straight. And I didn't feel the least bit guilty for doing so.

And it must be said that I was a complete princess yesterday - J grilled for us and cleaned up for us. I have the bestest boyfriend in the world! *Doing my happy dance*

We watched Fracture last night - pretty decent movie. J and I both feel like the movies being produced lately just aren't up to par. The last movie we saw that we both really enjoyed was 300. Beautiful cinematography, awesome story line, and hell, I even enjoyed the enormous amounts of blood shed and strategically piled up dead body walls. And eh hmm, the uh, actors were great eye candy too (sorry babers!!). Not that I like that sort of thing, buffed up men. Not my style.

We have another seriously awesome weekend coming up - vacation time! J and I are going on a long weekend to the beach for some relaxing and we'll also be attending a good friend of mine's wedding on the beach. So, I'll be out of commission (hopefully due to lots of coconut based cocktails) for blogging for a bit. Not that you'll miss me or anything (getting out the fishing pole) but I will be back to lurk on everyone's blogs and leave my usual obnoxious comments next week.