Toot toot

Can I just toot a horn real quick on the current job status? (Tough, I'm doing it anyway...)

I have been on a journey through some seriously dead end jobs…

First job was in my field of study straight out of college. I was a graphic designer at a studio where I was creatively challenged every day as well as financially challenged. After 2 years of being poor, I moved on.

Second job was in a field I had never even heard of before – association management. While it was it a very stressful, thankless job, it did challenge me and I was fulfilled in a way. I was able to do a little traveling and developed many great skills and habits. But, most jobs have a balance of good and bad. When I finally told my SOB of a boss good bye, I was able to take along with me three great friends that I still adore and talk to on a regular basis.

Third job. *smirk* This is what I like to call a "stepping stone". I so desperately wanted out of my previous job that I took the first job that went up the scale in pay and what I thought sounded like a prestigious position. Ah, how I was mistaken. After being the community complaint center and defending myself on a regular basis for happenings I had no control over, I began a real search for a career. I was tired of positions with asshole bosses and catty women, where ridiculous things like filing was more important to your boss that tending to your deadlines.

The point of my rambling? For once in my life I am in a position where I feel part of a team, where I am thanked every day for what I’ve done to help someone else’s life a little easier. I learn something new every day and while most days fly in a rush to close a deal, I also have days that are so laid back we take 2 hour lunches just shooting the bull with the boss. Can’t beat that.

Most of the time people just speak out to complain and never really broadcast the good. Flipping the switch on ya. ;)

So anyway, I’m just as happy as a tick on a fat dog and just wanted to share. Toot toot.

Finally, some inspiration

Oh... Please go look at this website. Jeshderox's Photography

Beautiful, inspiring.

Makes me want to run out of this office and grab my camera...

(Thanks for sharing, Kelly. This has been the highlight of my day.)

Ghost of Babers?

I think I actually wrote a poem last night. Well, maybe not quite a poem. More like just thoughts that kept circling in my brain that I had to get out before it became a song or even something more annoying… like a chant. That hasn’t happened in a while. I used to create poetry when I was younger, but decided after high school that it was no longer cool. (Shut up.)

It all started when I was brushing my teeth and caught a glimpse in the mirror of what I thought was a lump under the covers of my bed. Like someone was in there, the way it looks when Babers is in there, waiting for me to finish my nightly routine. Kind of reminds me of how it feels when you lose a pet. You find yourself looking down before rounding corners or hopping off of beds so as not to step on them. As if they’re still there. Not to compare Jason with a dog, it’s just… similar, in a way.

Sometimes to my own advantage, I like to pretend he’s still there during the week. For instance, when I’ve been a little lazy on picking up after myself, I like to shake my head while picking up the multiple cups I’ve left around the house. “You may have a nice ass and all, but that doesn’t mean you can get away with leaving your cups every where.”

Or, when it’s really cold in the mornings because I’ve set the temp too low, I like to jump out of bed cursing “just because you are hot natured doesn’t mean I have to suffer. Brrr!”

I’m pathetic.

Maybe I’ll post this “poem” later. If I get brave, that is.

P.S. - How cool is that bed? www.slmetalworks.com/beds_a.html

A Beach Wedding!

No, not for me!!! An old, loyal friend of mine called this past weekend to announce that the wedding she planned for January of 2008 is now being pushed up to September 2007. “I’m not pregnant,” she explained, “it’s just that we have our vacation planned for September, and we’d like nothing more than to be married on the beach.” Priceless.

Good things about this change:

1. I am no longer a bridesmaid. Due to the last minute change – and expense of travel - most of the wedding party won’t be able to make it. Now it’s just the best man and matron of honor.

2. Jason and I are turning this into our vacation as well. Why not?

3. I get to spend some time with my friend in a beautiful place free of every day stress and responsibility.

4. Ditto on the above except replace “my friend” with “my boyfriend”.

Notice how I just turned my good friend’s wedding into something good for me? Sounds terrible, I know, but if you’ve been a bridesmaid for years and have accumulated several odd colored dresses that you will never wear again you would feel the same way. However, I’ve never in my life felt the saying “always a bridesmaid, never the bride” related to me, but I do feel a little envious that she is getting married soon and on the beach. I’ve never really wanted to be married before but I guess now that I’ve found “the one” I just want forever to start now.

Anyway, 10 more weeks and I’ll be watching my friend get married on some beautiful beach while holding my sweetie’s hand. I can’t wait!

Three Words

Mu wah ah ah! Another meme stolen from Miss Blogarita! (I have SO much work to do so if I get fired it's her fault...) *wink wink*


1. Where is your cell phone? Hidden in purse
2. Boyfriend/girlfriend?currently loving babers
3. Hair? newly short, easy
4. Your mother? intelligent, trying, strong
5. Your father? quiet, pensive, rock
6. Your favorite item(s)? sudoku, crockpot, scrapbook
7. Your dream last night? no dream thankfully
8. Your favorite drink? Sweet iced tea
9. Your dream guy/girl? my funny babertine
10. The room you are in? my boring office
11. Your fear? heights, being attacked
12. What do you want to be in 10 years? happy, stable, hot (hahaha)
13. Who did you hang out with last night? Suzy and Doozy
14. What are you not? Babers says I'm not high maintenance and my momma says I'm not a dummy... oh wait that was more than three words.
15. Are you in love? yes very much
16. One of your wish list items? my own home!
17. What time is it? who really cares
18. The last thing you did? talked to Amy
19. What are you wearing? slacks, heels, mascara (and that's it! My boss LOVES me)
20. Your favorite book? probably White Oleander
21. The last thing you ate? chicken salad, pickle
22. Your life? calm, fufilling, perfect
23. Your mood? happy but restless
24. Your friends? fun, supportive, non-psycho (smirk)
25. What are you thinking about right now? my growling tummy
26. Your car? sporty white accord
27. What are you doing at this moment? passing the time
28. Your summer? so much planned!
29. Your relationship status? with my soulmate
30. What is on your TV screen? no tv screen
31. When is the last time you laughed? 5 minutes ago
32. Last time you cried? yesterday at song
33. School? college grad, craziness
34. Why did this end so abruptly?what? huh? who?

The Ups and Downs

I feel like I’m on a freaking rollercoaster right now. The weekends bring J, who supplies tons of ridiculous behavior, tons of fun and laughter…just never a dull moment. He brings out the crazy in me – wait - I should probably say J encourages the crazy in me, and well, when he leaves I have no one who can match this as well as he, so I basically stare at the walls until the weekend again.

I exaggerate. Still, between doing stuff with friends during the week, creating art, walking, and new on the list – playing my fantasticable Sudoku game that Jason bought me – I’m just sitting there wishing he was with me. Of course I don’t want to bore my friends with my whining and wishing, so I usually keep it inside. (Or put it on the blog.) Of course, this build up eventually comes out in a tantrum directed at Jason in hidden form. *sigh* The man doesn’t verbalize his brain, so I often wonder if he feels the way I do. Or does he not think about it at all? *gasp* OR is he so wrapped up playing with his new puppy that he doesn’t think about me at all??

Grr. Stoopid puppy.

I’m kidding! I seriously love that little slut. Except when she makes me itch and gets between Jason and I on the couch.

I digress. But then, I’m not really going anywhere with this am I? Call it a Dear Diary entry if you will. I just… feel like I’m ever so grateful to have this perfect-for-me human being in my life to love and love me back, but the distance and lack of togetherness is so huge for me that I often obsess about that instead of how great our love is. (Did you just throw up in your mouth a little?) And I also feel like I've waited so long for this - why is he being taken away now? Why not a job here?? If I had something to throw right now I would. (Eyeballing phone and stapler on side of desk.)

I know, I know, he's apart from me too. He's experiencing the distance too. Its not just about me. But, it really hurts when you're the one being left.

That’s all…. for now.

The Sleeping Memes

I saw this while visiting Blogarita and thought it was cute, so of course I had to "borrow" it!

6 Weird things I do while getting ready to sleep or while sleeping:

1. I get irritated and cannot fall sleep if there is any sound in the room other than the fan whirling or the air conditioner going. For example, a dog scratching in the room or people outside talking will keep me up. However, I can fall asleep sooo easily (unintentionally) while watching a blaring televison.

2. My only sleeping position is on my tummy with one arm under my pillow. The only time this varies is if I decide I want to jack one of my legs up on the side of me. I cannot fall asleep any other way.

3. Relative to #2 – When Jason’s home on the weekends, I love love love cuddling with him right before falling asleep, but I can’t actually sleep that way. So we roll over to sleep the way we must, but our legs or feet have to be touching or tangled up together in order for me to crash.

4. Not really following the title, but: On Thanksgiving day, all the women make fun of or fuss about all the men in the house falling asleep right after stuffing themselves with turkey and dressing. I secretly wish I could kick back and fall asleep with them, but don’t want to be talked about by the rest of the women.

5. I prefer to and will probably always sleep in shorties and a t shirt. Non of this pretty lingerie in bed, or baby dolls or a la nakedness – I’ve tried. Really, I have. Just can’t seem to kick the comfort habit. (So sorry Babers…)

6. Before getting into bed I always check behind my shower curtain, in my bedroom closets and under my bed for intruders. This started the first day I moved out on my own and I imagine will continue until I’m living with someone who can protect me.

Looking at my 6 items, none of them are really weird except for maybe #6.

Life's a Beach!

If there is anything obvious that Jason has changed about me, it would definitely be my spontaneity. Before him, I really didn’t have any. But, I know how much he loves being spontaneous and so this past weekend for his birthday, I threw a comment in the air about going to the beach for his birthday. I hesitated before saying it, being the planner that I am, but once I saw his excitement I was in for it.

Together we probably spent about 4 hours on the phone and internet trying to find a place to stay in the Orange Beach/Gulf Shores area. If it wasn’t sold out, it was priced at a ridiculous rate. We ended up broken hearted believing that our little last minute plan had been squashed. We woke up Saturday morning still anxious to get away, so we jumped out of bed to start packing – destination: Biloxi beach!

Now, I’ve seen the pictures and heard the stories from people that have visited Biloxi. I’ve heard about how much has changed and how the rebuilding process has been so slow. We knew it wouldn’t be the same as trips to Biloxi before, but we still wanted to play together at the beach and I guess we were in denial about what to expect.

The beach line was completely vacant. Trying to find a place to eat, or even something as simple as a bag of ice was really trying. We’d see a restaurant sign in the distance and get excited, only to be knocked down as we got closer and saw it was only a sign, that the restaurant itself had been destroyed.

Despite the disappointment and shock, we still had an awesome time. As I said to my mother when she warned me before we left that there was nothing to do: Jason and I are not just a couple, we’re best friends – we’d have fun in a room with no windows. Just being together, making drinks and being silly, filling the Jacuzzi tub with overflowing shampoo suds and talking… serious fun. Not having any distractions really filled this void for me with him being gone during the week. And I think this weekend gave me a new appreciation for him: the man is an optimist. Almost to the point of annoyance. Okay, so not really – the only annoying thing was realizing that I’m not the optimist. (And I’d so like to be one!!) It was pouring down rain with no chance of hitting the beach the first day we were there, and I never heard him complain or give up on the trip.

I just have to complain about one thing – sunburn!! I have serious side boob burn (that one’s for you Babers!)

All Grown Up

Last night Toot had his kindergarten graduation. He attends the same school that I attended K-12. To be there again for this event felt so odd – they still have the same style ceremony as we did. The kids still had life size drawings of themselves hung along the walls like we did.


















As I mentioned in my last post, my nephew is growing up too fast. He’s the tallest in his class! I tried to take as many pictures as I could last night to hold on to this time. I even stole a pouty face moment when he learned that one of his classmates would be leaving the state.















I can’t believe ten years have passed since I’ve graduated high school.

Altogether it was a good night. I even had a strange, but, very… nice thing happen to me. An old friend whose child is in my nephew’s class was there and he approached me at the end of the evening. There was a huge misunderstanding and much wrong doing that happened between us over six years ago and he wanted to apologize for it. After going through a lot of his own drama and ups and downs, he said he was so clear and aware of what happened back then. His apology was so sincere it brought tears to my eyes. It really takes a big person to see through and reach out to apologize, especially after that many years. It was great to finally close that chapter of my life.

Only in Louisiana

Only in Louisiana....

Will you see an alligator sunning itself on the banks of a subdivision lake.

Only in Louisiana....

Will you be given a personal cell phone number for the town sheriff to come by and trap this alligator when he gets off work.

Only in Louisiana....

Will this sheriff comment on how glad he'll be to "get his hands on this bastard" and how he'll just dump it in his ice chest with the other one he caught two days ago.

Random Ramblings

For the last three months my president was MIA. Couldn’t reach him at his home, on his cell or at his office. No return calls. This is the problem with working for associations. Your bosses are volunteers. Guess the saying you get what you pay for relates.

I quit my job. Put in my two weeks last Monday. This of course has nothing to do with my missing president. However, once he caught wind of my leaving, he’s back in the picture with whip in hand. I have now been assigned to create a “procedures manual”. Ask me how much I want to just walk out now and not come back so that I can avoid this task.

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My nephew graduates kindergarten today. First grade is on his horizon and I feel old. No wait, I meant, OLD. I think I’d feeler older if I had kids of my own, though I’m not sure the reasoning behind this. It’s amazing how quickly time goes by when you’re a child and then when you are older, you sort of hang and time seems suspended. For example, my car is paid off in 3 months and damn if I can’t wish those months along any faster that their slow crawl. And yet as a child, those 3 months off of school for the summer went by so fast.

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Food is always better if someone else has prepared it. Prime examples of this are sandwiches and potato salad. I’m munching on some of my Maw Maw’s potato salad now that she sent home with me. Yummo. (That was my shout out to Rachel Ray.) This stuff is just not the same when I make it.

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I ordered my first Christian contemporary cd last week. I don’t think it the norm for someone my age to listen to this music, though I may be mistaken. Anyway, it’s a Third Day cd and it’s really good. If I heard the music playing at a friend’s house, I’d think it was just contemporary rock. Can’t really tell the difference until you hear the occasional “holy” or “glory”. Ha. I sing along to the music without really thinking that in some way it could be a form of worship. I’m not a church goer or a holy roller. In fact, I’m still somewhat confused about my religion and my beliefs. I just… enjoy the music. So leave me alone already.

Question though – is it weird or wrong that I have this new cd in my six disc player next to Saliva and 12Stones?

Hmm… anything else… nope, I think that’s it for now.

Weekend Awakening

This weekend has flown by. I had a "romantic" dinner set up Friday night when Jason came home. Then Saturday morning Babers took me for breakfast out, which has started to become a regular thing for us now. Then we went riding on the river all day. Its nice to be able to just relax and do as you please all weekend without worrying about anyone or anything else. Being out on the river is like being in another country or on vacation -- no cell phones, no contact with anyone other than those you are with, no worries.

A couple Jason and I are close to tried consoling us just before Jason left for work out of town. They told us that being away during the week made the weekends even sweeter. They said that we would appreciate each other more and quarrel less. While I agree that the weekends are sweet, I can't say we will ever experience the other - Jason and I have never quarreled, so we see no difference there. However, I feel like I'm finally getting into the groove of things and its a big relief.

I feel like my life is finally starting to become more enjoyable and definitely more peaceful. I've made several changes in my life recently to rid myself of debt, chaos, hurt, and dead ends, and I've never been more sure of myself and the decisions I've made. I woke up this morning with an extremely sore body (from riding all day Saturday), sunburned shoulders, and serious allergy side effects, but for the first time in a while I was able to take a deep breath.

I am happy.

One Year of Wonderful, Blissful, Crazy Love

This Sunday marked our one year anniversary. The year has absolutely flown by. I still can’t believe it’s already been a year. I guess the saying “time flies when you’re having fun” stands true.

Jason surprised me with the most beautiful bouquet of flowers that held all of my favorites – star gazer lilies, sunflowers and orchids. The only thing missing was him to smother with hugs and kisses. The flowers sit on my dining room table and fill the entire apartment with that yummy flower smell. I think I may just be the luckiest girl in the world. Not only is the love of my life romantic, he listens too!


I racked my brains the weeks before our special weekend for something amazing to do for Jason but nothing, I mean literally nothing came to mind. What kind of girlfriend comes upon a special day like this with no great ideas? After rummaging through a few websites for inspiration, I decided on my surprise.

Jason is definitely a kid at heart. It was hard blowing up these balloons with such a big smile on my face – I just kept imagining his reaction...

And, of course, his reaction was everything I hoped it would be. The plan was to blow up 365 balloons for every day we’ve been together, tucking notes inside each balloon before blowing them up. The notes were marked with all the reasons I loved him or memories I love that we’ve made together. Needless to say, the apartment isn’t big enough for 365 balloons, nor is my lung capacity.

Jason popped all 175 balloons (hey, it was close enough) spreading them out over the weekend. He requested I rubber band all of the notes to keep in our box. His sentimental side never fails to amaze me.

The entire weekend was awesome. We splurged on dinners out from Friday to Sunday, visited pet adoption centers, had wine and cheese and barbequed with friends – basically had a spontaneous, care free weekend full of fun. (Wow, that sounds cheesy.)

Jason has become such a big part of my life that I can barely remember what my life was like before us. Finding your soul mate is definitely something worth waiting for. He keeps me laughing and guessing, makes me feel beautiful and is ultimately my best friend.

This has definitely been the year of my life. I can’t wait for the next anniversary.

Blank Wall Covered!

A bit of catching up to do… Once Jason left for his new job out of town I had a good bit of time to myself for creative adventures. I finally finished my three piece painting for the large blank wall of my living room. Its one of the first paintings I’ve done that I’ve felt is complete as it is, instead of wanting to take the thing back off the wall to add or touch up as I’ve done in the past.

Nightmares on My Street

Lately I’ve been having the scariest dreams. People I love are getting hurt, I cheat on my sweet boyfriend, animals are chasing me and I can seem to make my legs work. Last night I had a dream that the world was ending.

I would like to blame this entirely on the film An Inconvenient Truth. Jason and I saw it this past week. While it was interesting, it didn’t really say much that hadn’t already been said, but definitely stuck enough to pop up in my dreams.

An old best friend, an acquaintance and I ran around the chaos trying to find a way to survive the end of the world. There were fires everywhere, buildings were crashing, people had gas masks on, the scene was terrifying. I jumped in a helicopter with my two partners and we took off, watching the horrible destruction below. One of us made the point that soon our copter would run out of gas and we would still be doomed. I reached into my pocket contemplating a bottle of pills I had stolen in the event that I would need to make my death less traumatic.

We landed back on the ground near NASA – I know, I know, but it’s a dream. We climbed into a rocket telling the astronauts we were inspecting it and then took off. I woke up in the middle of the night, interrupting the dream. I think the worst part was waking up and feeling this horrible guilt that I wasn’t with my family, trying to save them as well.

Just thought I’d share.

Random Thoughts

I love Cocoa Krispies. LOVE. The local grocery I go to was out of them at the time so I bought Cocoa Pebbles. Not the same. Don’t be fooled. Now I have to eat the entire gosh darn box before I can return to the real thing.

Jason elbowed me in the eye last night. I saw it coming but what can you do? The boy takes up my entire bed and most of my pillow with his big ole elbow but I love it. Oh, and he tried shoving me out my bed at one point with his butt. This is a guy whose bum is half the size of mine. He’s just a bully, that’s all.

30 Seconds to Mars is my most recent cd purchase. I decided it was time seeing as I hadn’t bought a cd in 3 years or more. Sad, right? I’m not really satisfied and I’ve decided I know the reason. Hearing your favorite song on the radio by chance is what makes the song really awesome. Unless of course you get to listen to the radio all day. I only listen to the radio to and from work and occasionally while I’m cooking so I’m less likely to hear my favorites. So, once I buy the cd and can hear it all I want, I’m no longer in love with it. Makes me think of jr. high school and having a different boyfriend every week.

Did you know that rubbing your eyes is what makes dark circles? It’s true. I have created my circles. This saddens me. Same goes for the 5 pounds that have taken residence on my ass in the last few years. They won’t go away and I’m to blame.

I need a name for my plants. Particularly my petunias. They are “sugar daddies” but I refuse to call them that. I need a name so I can coo to them in the evenings which will make them grow.

Hmm. That’s it for now.

Do you know the Muffin Man?

It's been a while since my last confession...

There's so much I've been meaning to post but the internet connection at the homestead SUCKS. Therefore I can't post or check email or look at porn. (j/k on the last one, or am I?)

Valentine's Day... I have pics! One day soon I will post them. Jason gave me the most thoughtful V Day sweets ever -- my three canvases for the painting I will be creating for my living room wall. He knows I'm on a budget and have been saving for the creation of this piece. I'm thrilled that this project is no longer put on the back burner because of him!

I made him a bunch of sinfully delicious little red velvet cupcakes along with a goody bag filled with some naughty items & some chocolate items. Altogether it was a great night. We cooked together and opened a bottle of bubbly and were just together. It was all I wanted and everything I wanted it to be. :)

Big Office Move -- coming soon. I am so ready to be sans dirty old men and loud men and well, just men in general. No offense, I love you guys, but sometimes you just don't understand the saying "there's a time and place for everything". For me that means from 8 - 5 I don't want to hear how your wife likes it or where she likes it, nor do I want to be touched by 80 year old men, and I certainly don't want to hear your bodily function contests.

Now, if only I can get rid of my pesky co-worker that is computer literate -- "Jill? How do you save this document again? Jill? How do attach a document to an email?"

Numero Uno on my mind -- Jason's move. He's leaving for his new position 2 hours from here next week. I'm excited for him, more now than I was when I first learned of the move. While I'll miss him terribly during the week, I know I'll have something to look forward to on the weekends. And besides, I love spoiling the people I love and I have many tricks up my sleeve for care packages. *rubbing hands together in a sneaky fashion* I may have to take on a P.I.C. who has much experience in these. You know who you are.

That's all for now. I mainly wanted to update my blog lurkers and get the PPP post off the top. And well, I wanted to show appreciation once more to my monkey for Valentine's Day -- it means a lot to me that you really listen and know what's important in my life and aim to make me happy in the ways that you can. Love you bitch!

Paw Paw Pervy Episode #51

A conversation I just had with PPP:

PPP: (mumbling) Hey girl. I just walked down the sidewalk.
Me: Sir?
PPP: (somewhat louder) I walked down the sidewalk. (he pauses, distracted by school bus passing) I SAID I WALKED DOWN THE SIDEWALK.

I look at him. At this point I’m trying to decide if I should set him in his place for raising his voice to me or try and figure out what the fuck he’s talking about to shorten the conversation and get on with my workless day.

Right now he’s gazing out the window. Cathy, my co-worker, says that old people do that. Gaze and daydream a lot. She says she thinks they may be thinking about their “time on earth”.

She doesn’t know I call him PPP. However, she does know I’m ooged out by him and his constant touching and slurring “you’re soooo pretty.” I was relieved to hear he tells Cathy the same thing and touches her frequently as well.

I hope when I get older I don’t gaze and call people “hey girl” and get frustrated if they don’t understand my incomplete sentences.

Change

It's Tuesday and I'm bored out of my mind. Usually I'm okay with change but lately I think I've had more time on my hands to notice it.

I came from a company that had its employees logging their actions every 5 minutes: timesheet, 10 minutes. Conference call, 25 minutes. Bathroom break, 5 minutes. We had a "helper" to do less demanding items on our to-do list because of our heavy workload. Overtime was not something I looked forward to, like most, because of the extra money. It was just more time I had to spend slaving away in that hell hole.

Now I sit comfortably in a cushy chair with an office to myself, complaining because I already have my work for the day done. I'm flipping through Redbook. I don't have to log my time.

There is a happy medium.

I get home from work and walk aimlessly around my little apartment. Sure, I could fold the clothes or straighten up the many areas that need de-cluttering, but I can't find a bone in my body that feels like doing that. I could scrap! Nope, don't feel like it. Cook? Watch TV? These days I feel lost. Eventually I do the stuff but I'm definitely on autopilot.

Another big change: J and I have been dating for a little over 9 months now. While I'm still completely in love with this man, I'm very much aware of the changes in our relationship over the last few months. The honeymoon stage is definitely over. Sweet little notes that were once left on each other's cars in the morning no longer exist. Daily phone calls and text messages are fading away. We talk less and "just be" more.

It saddens me to the point where I get teary-eyed thinking about the death of our honeymoon phase. And speaking of waterworks, I'm bored to tears at work with nothing to do. On top of it all, I have no one to discuss it with. Sure, it may seem like whoa-is-me here talking, but this overwhelming feeling of boredom and the sudden change in my life has knocked me for a loop.

I went from this maniacally happy person with tons of energy to a big blob of uncertainty, and for once in my life I feel like I don't know myself at all. And this is a really strange comparison, but I can't talk myself out of it like I imagine psycho chics try to stop themselves from being crazy. I mind-f*** myself --"Don't be sad, you have no reason to be sad. Smile and your emotions will catch up." Psycho chic -- "Don't run him over, they're probably just friends." Screeeecccchhhh!!!!

Maybe I just need a little sunshine and summertime in my life...

A Trip to Memory Mania

Just sharing some of my latest creations...Can you tell I just got back from Memory Mania?

Childhood Partner in Crime

After posting the page of Jen & I, daydreams of childhood began to flood my mind. When I think about my sister and me as youngins, I always think of the same things: playing Barbies, refusing to let my brother in on any game, and best of all, fucking with my parents.

One entire summer my sister and I spoke only in song. Meaning, if we had to say anything to each other or to our mother, we would sing it. “Pass the ketchup, pllee-eeaa-sseee!” The agony on my mother’s face only fueled it. At first she fussed at us and then she stopped and pretended to ignore us or not be bothered by it. Now, as an adult, I realize she was trying to pull some child psychology tricks on us that she learned from college to make us stop. When they realize they aren’t getting my attention from their antics, they will stop. I just shake my head thinking at how psych didn’t even work on my sister and I.

Jen and I shared a room with twin beds until around the age of 11. When we were younger and down for bedtime, we would shove our faces into our pillows and yell curse words. “SHIT!” “DAMN!!” It was very liberating for a 9 and 6 year old. The best was letting out ear-piercing screams into our pillows. Just hearing your own muffled scream is for some reason freakin hilarious. Okay well, it was for us.

After letting out a long, muffled, terrifying scream into our pillows, one of our parents would walk down the hall to scold us.

“Girls! Get to sleep! Your brother is in the room next and you’re keeping him awake.”

Of course we always played the innocent card and pretended to be asleep. Sucking in a loud breath and opening our sleepy eyes we’d say “Whhaaa Maa? What did you say we were sleeping.”

Back then we thought we were being so slick. Mom would walk back down the hall and once we’d hear her settle onto the couch we’d smother our faces again and let out more screams. I’m laughing just thinking about it.

My sister is just as weird as I am

My sister is the only other person I know that can make faces more hideous than mine. Imagine the delight when J gave me a digital camera for Christmas...

Me: Let's take a really awful pic.
Jen: Okay!

*SNAP*

Jen: Lemme see... (I turn the camera around to view our distorted faces.)

*two adult females rolling on the ground laughing*

Jen: Let's do it again!
Me: Okay!

Repeat scene.

How could I not scrap this?

Oh yeah...

See that little flashy, pretty rectangle thingie on the right? It's what's keeping me somewhat sane these days (besides my sweet boyfriend). Go look at it. (Or else!)

Rain = Depression?

Normally you give me rain and I’ll get cozy in bed with fuzzy socks and a good sappy movie. Rain usually gives me the excuse to do absolutely nothing. But lately, this obsessive rainage is giving me depressionage.

Can constant rain give someone depression? Seriously.

I haven’t walked/ran in weeks. Sure, I could get a gym membership but I’M BROKE. And pilates indoors just ain’t cutting it for me. Then of course there’s the sense of failure I get when walking by my plants that I cared for so tenderly this summer which now have died and gone to plant hell. There’s no turning back for them, at least I don’t think so. I feel I’ve let them down.

In the summer there’s so much to do when you’re bored: swimming, 4-wheeler riding, taking walks, exercising, tending to plants – I could go on. Now the only thing to do is #1. watch movies, #2. cook and eat (which is not helping me in any way, shape or form), and #3. scrapbook. While I love to do all 3 of those things, doing those things day in and day out will make you crazy.

That’s all.

80’s Music Lives On

I was told I need a new post. Can no one sympathize with what I must deal with on a daily basis? FINE. One day I hope that you are plagued with a party that leaves you feeling less than comfy.

Moving on…

If you have not seen the Molly Ringwald’s perform, you simply must. If you are an 80’s music fan, then not seeing the MR’s is definitely a crime. These guys put on the best show I’ve ever seen, and I’m comparing them with today’s best alternative rock shows, or country concerts if that’s your flavor.





This band plays the following songs while dressed up in 80’s gear, pouring Crown Royal and other various liquors into the mouths of singing fans in the crowd, all while doing ridiculous choreography that came from the era none other than the 1980’s.

Check ‘em out: www.themollyringwalds.com

You Shook Me All Night Long- AC/DC
Take On Me- A-ha
Summer Of '69- Bryan Adams
Fight For Your Right- Beastie Boys
Livin' On A Prayer- Bon Jovi
Just What I Needed- The Cars
I Want You To Want Me- Cheap Trick
Lovesong- The Cure
Photograph- Def Leppard
Pour Some Sugar On Me- Def Leppard
Whip it- Devo
Come On Eileen- Dexy's Midnight Runners
Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of These)- Eurythmics
Sweet Child O' Mine- Guns N' Roses
Rebel Yell- Billy Idol
White Wedding- Billy Idol
Any Way You Want It- Journey
Dress you Up- Madonna
99 Red Balloons- Nena
Your Love- The Outfield
Keep On Loving You- REO Speedwagon
Tainted Love- Soft Cell
Jessie's Girl- Rick Springfield
Jenny 867-5309- Tommy Tutone

You get the picture. Makes you feel left out, right?

Pee Paw Pervy

Okay, I have plenty of work to do today but I just can’t get motivated. Besides that, I’m extremely irritated by my subject: Pee Paw Pervy

Let me give you a run down – I work in a small building which we share with another company. The set up is ridiculous; we actually share a fax/copier/printer with this other company which is located in my TINY office. So, these men are coming into my office all day long, bumping into my chair constantly, etc.

One of these men is a 70+ year old man who a dear friend has tagged “Pee Paw Pervy”. Reason being – the man asks me how to use the fax e v e r y s i n g l e t i m e he comes in here. Then after I “help” him, he has to lean over very slowly, put his hands on my shoulders and hug me, then kiss the top of my head. GROSS. If he’s not doing this, he’s telling me how “attractive” I am or how nice my outfit looks on me. *bleh* I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

And that’s not all – the “Pee” in Pee Paw stands for exactly what it is. The bathroom shares a wall with my office, so I can hear everything going on in there. Let’s just say he is not a quiet rest roomer. Believe me, I’m being polite about this part with you. I’m so lucky!

Jason tells me I should say something to him when he makes me feel uncomfy. I just want to keep the peace because I know I’ll be moving into my new office in February. However, I am getting better at avoiding him. I suddenly have to get something out of my car when he comes in to fax. I’ve memorized his footsteps so I can get on the phone with nobody when he’s coming my way. I will walk all the way around the building from the front door entrance to the back parking lot if he’s gazing out the back door, just so he doesn’t have the chance to open the door for me and touch me unnecessarily.

I’m worried I’ll go berserk on him if February doesn’t come soon.

Weekend of Camping

It seems as if I’m having a lot of “firsts” lately. Jason purchased a camper trailer to live in for his new job. He’ll be moving to a small city a couple hours away in the next few months. (I know, *wah*, I’ll save details for a later post.) So, what better way to break in the new toy than by taking it on a camping trip.

At first I was on an emotional rollercoaster about this whole camper trailer thing. Having new toys to play with is always exciting, and being able to use it for travel is so great... BUT... this camper trailer will be housing my boyfriend for around a year. He will no longer be sleeping with me during the week, he'll be sleeping with her. He will be with her after work every day instead of me. I have decided to call her The Bitch.

Playing house in The Bitch was fun though. What a weekend. We did a whole lot of nothing, but the fact that all errands, laundry, and life’s demands were non-existent at Chicot campgrounds made that whole lot of nothing extremely satisfying. Cleansing even.

We built fires all weekend and ate really bad but good food, played very competitive games of rummy, slept on rigged up pillows made of towels stuffed into t-shirts because Jason forgot the pillows from home and even went boating.

You could hear the boats less than a mile away from our site on the lake, so Jason and I set out to rent one Saturday morning. The girl at the office runs Jason’s debit card, hands us those gorgeous life vests and then hands us... two paddles. We just cracked up. We assumed they would be motor boats. Well, you know what happens when you assume. Let’s say it together “you make an ASS of U and ME”. Jason, me and the paddle boat didn't last 10 minutes together, but it made for good pictures.

Lil Bits

A blog I visit pretty often had a post titled “Lil Bits” where she had taken pictures of her favorite bits and nooks in her apartment. Things like a table with her favorite candles & a bowl full of matches, her purse collection and so on. I thought it was a great idea and set off in my apartment to take pictures of my favorite lil bits.

I couldn’t find a thing to take a photo of. This saddened me. I’ve spent over a year in this apartment and I have no corner of interest or wall of photos or bowl of matches. The only cool thing I could take a photo of was my little bamboo plant that sits on my kitchen counter.

Looks like I need to start adding some character to my apartment.

Sweet Memories

I haven't created any pages for my scrapbook lately and all these great photos laying around being neglected was making me feel guilty. Sooo... a page to remember our first Christmas together. I'm really in love with this one.

Beware the Old Friend’s contact

I just recently decided that it’s okay to not have a “best” friend or to not have many friends for that matter. I do have a few close friends that I completely adore and love hanging and chatting with but it’s just been a while since I’ve had a bff (ha, I had to) that really gets me.

I’m not pouting about this, I’m very much a loner and am totally okay with this. This is mainly me putting it out in the universe that I’m A-okay with it. That being said, an old friend contacted me just recently and for a second I was a bit hopeful. She was my best friend for around 20 years. We went through high school and college together and share many crazy memories. So when she contacted me I guess I thought “maybe we could catch up.” I responded to her first email and when she responded to mine I got a big ole slap in the face.

She wanted to invite me to her Pampered Chef party. You know, one of those parties you host and receive all kinds of discounts and free stuff depending on how many people you get to attend? Yep. I should have known. When she contacted me a couple years earlier it was to let me know she had just become a Mary Kay consultant and “did I want to buy some beauty products?”

Some people are just so dense. How can you not know that’s rude or in the least just inconsiderate? To just one day out of the blue call someone up to solicit after not being in touch for years?

Okay, ranting over with.

Sharing the Goods

If you’ve have a burrito or salad at Izzo’s Illegal Burrito, then you know their cilantro ranch. Seeing as my new year’s resolution (as always) is to drop a few pounds, I thought what a better way to help break the food boredom by eating Izzo’s salads with cilantro ranch more often? But, I hardly want to empty my pocketbook just to lose a few, so after a little experimentation I’ve worked up an almost exact replica of their cilantro ranch.

This is really good with chicken or shrimp, Mexican style with black beans tossed in with everything. Enjoy!



Cilantro Ranch

You will need:
Bunch of fresh cilantro
1 lime
Big tub of sour cream
1 (or 2) packets of Hidden Valley Ranch dressing mix

If you get one of those big tubs of sour cream, I suggest using more than one packet of HVR mix. I use light or fat free sour cream and you can’t tell the difference.

Put the sour cream, HVR packet, juice of 1 lime (or more if you want your dressing really runny) and a ton of the leafy parts of the cilantro bunch in a blender or food processor. When its well blended it should have a minty green coloring. If not, keep adding the cilantro!

Be MINE

I guess this year I'm a little excited about having a valentine. I made a promise to myself not to purchase any more scrapstuff for the next few months, to use only what I have. Here are a few cards I worked up for family with my current stash.

I have some venting to do and will post some not so hugs-and-puppy-dogs posts soon. I promise. I'm at work with an exrememly nosy co-worker and well, its kind of hard to goof off on the clock when she's around.

Happy New Year!!

Sunday evening I put on my best game face and headed over to a bonfire celebration for New Year's Eve. Jason and my nephew Toot lit fireworks all night and we cozied by the fire to count down until midnight. Best of all, I received my first real new years kiss.

How I Know

You hear stories of “how I first knew he was the one”. With Jason, I really believe I knew instantly, like the realization snuck in when I wasn’t looking and just implanted itself in my head. I wish I could recall a certain instance in which I knew.

While everyone was preparing for their wild, hopefully memorable New Year’s Eve weekend, I was on my bathroom floor wishing for someone to take me out of my misery.

I woke up Friday morning at 1:00 am with food poisoning. Severe, stomach-wrenching, forehead sweating, achy body, take-everything-out-of-you food poisoning.

I was alone that morning, Jason had spent the previous evening with friends. I spent the entire morning sick, wishing more than anything he was there beside me. Why, I kept asking myself, would I want the man I love and share a bed with, to see me like this?? I was far from attractive in my face sans make up with unmatched clothing and deep circles under my eyes. Not only that, I was losing it every hour on the hour. Why would I want him to see me like that?

Instead of wanting my mother as I have even in my most recent past, I wanted nobody but him. Badly. I actually cried during that first night because I wanted him so badly. He came over the next day and nursed me for the next two days. If I wanted 7Up, he brought me 7Up. If I needed something different to drink, he’d fix it for me. He tried feeding me and even cleaned up the apartment for me. He went to the store twice to purchase medicine for me. He laid beside me and let me make sad little noises and didn’t fuss once when I asked him not to touch me.

While I was laying there wiped out beside him with only our feet touching, I realized that this was definitely one of those “how I know” moments. I have never been so comfortable with someone that I could let them see me at my worst and most vulnerable and not worry about them bolting at the sight. And I’ve never wanted to be that vulnerable with someone either.

So, if years from now someone asks me when I knew J was the one, this past weekend filled with his TLC will definitely come to mind.

This one's for you Michelle!

I'm back to the land of the blogs, thanks to my new digi cam! For so long I've wanted to post my projects and now I finally can! Mwuahh ahh ahh! J has no idea, but he's created a monster. But, I think I'll blame it on Michelle. :)

So, here's what I've been up to the last couple of days. Oh how nice it is to be in the comfortable stages of love. I can scrap my little heart out if I want to while Jason watches his crime solving shows, each of us looking up occasionally to blow a kiss at the other.

Getting off the subject, sorry. (I know you guys just love hearing me gush about my babers.)

And now for my first scrap-post!!! (Michelle, grab a tissue. Your little girl is growing up.) It's a few cards that I've made, one is a thank you for my Paw Paw who sent me some moola for Christmas, and another is for Jason. The girly one just may make its way in one of my friend's mailboxes someday.

Christmas 2006

I got my digital camera!!! Yes, my sweet sweet boyfriend surprised me with the bestest present EVER. I took a total of 175 pictures over the course of 2 days.

Jason and I had our own special little Christmas party Saturday night. We cooked a pot of gumbo together, opened some champagne and settled down in front of the fire to exchange gifts. My babers gave me my digital camera with all the accessories, and I gave him his GPS and knife. I think we equally love spoiling each other!

The next photos are of Christmas Eve with the family, and then off the new parents! The gave everyone the best gift of all -- a new baby girl, Kaitlyn Nicole.

Tacky Christmas 2006!

Below are pictures from the annual Christmas party, this year's theme being "Tacky Christmas". As you can see, all of us dressed accordingly!

Enjoy!

Sing Along

WHO thinks its okay to sing or hum out loud in public? WHO told the person that shares an office with another, that its OKAY to hum or sing out loud along to the music playing on the radio? WHO DOES THAT???

I don't do that. If you do that, you seriously need to reconsider your public singing. Its not cool. No one feels comfortable being around another person, especially one that you don't know very well, while they are singing. Its like laughing out loud at a movie when you are alone.

Oh wait. I do that.

Situations that are most uncomfortable to me:

1. Sharing an office that is exactly 15 feet by 8 feet with a person who sings along to music. And this is not just any music, but CHRISTMAS music. I was in the mood for it today and turned the channel. I can't tell you how quickly I realized my stupidity when the woman I work with starting to hum & sing with Mariah Carey. NO ONE has her voice. Just don't do it people. And for some reason I decided that coughing and rustling things around on my desk spastically would make this woman stop but noooooo. She had no idea that it made me uncomfortable. It should be on some sort of documentation in the work place. Maybe the W4. Right after you decide what you are claiming you can decide if you plan on singing in the office or not. All those that do can be placed in the same office together. In the basement.

2. Riding in a car with someone when they suddenly say "I love this song." Not with an exclamation. Sometimes when that sentence is used with an exclamation, its meant in a lighthearted way. Usually the person may pretend to sing the song they "love" karoake style while mouthing into an invisible microphone. This can be endured if it lasts for a few seconds, which has been the usual in my experiences. However, if the person just says "I love this song" but in a way that you might say "I love this man" then you might as well open the car door as its speeding down the highway and hurl yourself onto the concrete. Most of the time this singing is low which is even more uncomfortable that loud singing because it feels like you've walked in on something really private.

I feel much better. Thanks for reading.

Sharing & Twirling

I WANT A DIGITAL CAMERA! ARGH!!!!

I look at others’ websites and I get this urge to create and share. (Yes Michelle, you ARE responsible. You and you're darn perfection of blogginess.)) So I sit on my living room floor and I make cards and jewelry and other fun stuff and *sigh* have no one with the creative bug to share them with. Well I do, but I want to archive them on a website just for me to view anytime I please.

Even if I did have a digi cam, I don’t have a computer. And I refuse to buy a computer. Maybe one day I will if I ever have kids and want to send my distant relatives (like I have any) pictures of my chirren getting dirty in the backyard or making a birthday cake for their daddy.

Doesn’t the word “daddy” just make you want to see yours?

Anyway, I guess if I had one I would still be able to upload. I do have available computers – um, I’m on one now. So yeah, I didn’t finish about the not-buying-a-computer rant. People get into relationships and marriage and they get a computer and it’s just one more thing to do that takes time away from their loved ones.

Wait a minute. I’m totally contradicting myself now.

Talking about wanting to share memories and pictures makes me think of the only other thing that gives me a feeling pretty close to what I feel when I see great photography and scrapbooks filled with love and hugs and grandpa’s and friends. Twirling.

Please tell me you remember this as a kid. I remember twirling in my mother’s living room, her yelling at me to “stop that! You’re going to knock the lamp off the table!” or “you’re going to make yourself dizzy!”

So what. That’s the point.

I don’t really know what I’m rambling about. It may just be my restlessness from sitting here at the computer all day with nothing to do. And see, if I had a camera I could be uploading images of my creations and loved ones and memories. But tomorrow I will probably be in a different mood and want something else. Like a house. That’s been on my mind a lot lately too. So yeah, its on my wish list.

Well, that’s enough rambling and wishing for now. Hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving.

Crazy Week

This week has been completely exhausting so far. I’m complaining and it’s only Wednesday!

Monday I attended a BOD meeting that lasted until 9 pm and I have another meeting of the same nature tonight that will surely last till then or later. Knowing this, I spent all evening yesterday cooking for the remainder of the week (and weekend hopefully), washing clothes and picking up. Its amazing how easily your home can become cluttered and a crazy mess when you’re busy or tired. You tell yourself “Just pick up the clothes and put them away after you wear them,” or “It would be easier if you just washed the dishes now instead of waiting until its piled to the top.” Nope. You don’t listen and then you’re spending an entire afternoon making up for it.

Thankfully I have a sweet, adorable boyfriend who plays house even when I’m not there. (Did you really think I was going to post without talking about him?? Nonsense!)

It’s so nice to be part of a “we”. Most of the time it’s more work, but if you are with someone who cares about your feelings and needs, then it can be completely rewarding. While I cook more now (just stating a fact, I love to cook so this is not a complaint) and wash twice as many clothes twice as often, I also have someone to lean on, someone to be my therapist after a hard day of work, someone to meet me at the door after a long ass meeting with a hug and a plate of peeled shrimp. Yes, he peeled them too. Someone to num me in the crook of my neck to make my frown turn upside down. (Did that make anyone lose their lunch? If not I’ll try harder next time.)

Next on the agenda – a weekend filled with crafting fun! I’ll be participating with my good friend Michelli in the annual Broadmoor show. I can only hope the long hours of jewelry making and booth-manning pays off.

Random Photo

I'm terrible at using a roll of film and waiting months to develop it, or in some cases I use only half the roll and by the time I use the rest its 2 years later. "Oh wow, these are pictures of my family reunion... in 2003."

So here's a cute pic that surprised us on the roll we just developed. We're surprisingly good photographers of ourselves. Most of the time we are centered and smiling. This is my new favorite pic of us! (Don't look at my messy kitchen!)

All Alone

Monday made 6 months for J and I can’t remember the last time I dated someone for that long without getting tired of them or annoyed by them. And the strange thing is that I spend way more time with him that I ever have with anyone else. I mean, we’re practically living together.

We spent the weekend apart and I didn’t know what to do with myself. I exercised like a fiend so that I could pass some time. I cooked, I cleaned and I organized. I went shopping with a good friend of mine. I spent time with my family.

I went back to my old ways too. Yep, I checked in every closet, under by bed and behind my shower curtain for bad people waiting till I fell asleep to kill me and rob me of all my possessions. Again, what exactly would I do if there was someone lurking behind my shower curtain? I never don a knife while checking for intruders. I’ve always thought if I were ever kidnapped or attacked in my home, that I would just act crazy to scare the bastard off. Like start singing Happy Birthday to him, or maybe Kung Foo Fighting.

Anyways.

I missed him. Every time I thought of something funny to say I’d look over at the empty place on the couch, or the spot beside me in bed where he’d normally be laying. AND THERE WERE NO FEET LOOKING FOR MINE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. I think I missed that the most.

I opened my fridge Saturday night and looked over my shoulder at the couch.

“Hey babe, what do you want for dinner?”

Silence.

“Nah, I don’t really feel like chicken. How about Mexican?”

Silence.

“Okay good! Mexican it is!”

I am a sad, sad person.

Mr. Friendly!

This is Ian. He is the friendliest guy you could ever meet! When he walks into a room it just lights up with hope and happiness. Puppy dogs and lollipops ain’t got nothing on this friendly, fun, super guy!!

Jalapenos & Stepford Boyfriends

Its been a while since my last confession...

With jewelry shows coming up to prepare for, my new sideline job, and spending time with my semi-new boy toy, I hardly have time for blogs these days. *sigh* I missed you.

First things first -- I got a new job! No more micromanaging, condescending asshole standing over my shoulder, no more obsessive paperwork, no more knots in stomach.

Last night was my second interview and I came home way later than usual. They told me they knew they wanted me right away and that they'd send me an official offer tomorrow (today). I'm driving home beaming, immediately feeling a weight being lifted from my shoulders. And then I pull into my complex, open my door and the most beautiful sight... *tear*... wait, I just need a minute... J was in my kitchen and a yummy aroma of pig and pasta salad filled the air. He had dinner in the oven for me -- how cute is that? Fixed my plate and everything. (I sound like a chic who has really been deprived in the past huh?)

"Babe," he says, "come see." I walk up to a pan he's just pulled from the oven that holds two large pork chops, covered in jalapenos.

If you know me well then you know this is a running joke with me. My J loves to cook with jalapenos. I've had a la' nachos with jalapenos and his famous breakfast omelete stuffed with mushrooms and jalapenos. Mmm! While I love the jalapenos, parts of my body don't really take too kindly to eating a lot of them. (More than you needed to know? Get over it.)

So imagine my surprise when I looked at those pretty little pork chops. I gave him the run down and we laughed about it all night. Needless to say, my sweet stepford boyfriend scooped the japs off my piece of meat.

He sure looked good in my kitchen. (Licking lips) I wonder what he looks like pushing the vacuum...

Attack of the Dragonfly

Saturday morning J and I jumped out of bed ready for a day of boat riding on the Tickfaw. We were so excited the night before and tried our best to get out on the river before noon. (Didn’t get out there as early as expected but a certain someone still feels it necessary to put on her makeup. I know, it’s the river.)

We drove around a bit and then stopped so J could fish a little while I laid out beside him. Within 10 minutes he caught a big ole ugly fish. (I’ll post pictures once they get developed.) I always thought I’d be sad to see a fish flopping around with a hook in its mouth, but I actually tried to convince J for a second that we could stick it in the ice chest with the beer to cook later for dinner. I mean, it’s not like the beer would taste like fish anyway. It’s in aluminum cans!

After a while I felt brave enough to get in the driver’s seat. I was nervous at first, but J talked me through it. Just as I was getting the hang of it, letting my muscles relax a little, BAM!! A dragonfly comes out of nowhere and hits me dead in between my eyes.

Shut up. It hurt.

I tried to play it off but J saw the whole thing. “I don’t wanna drive anymore!!” I squealed, brushing my face off, hoping not to have little dragonfly remains on my cheeks and forehead. It was huge, looked like a freaking helicopter slamming between my eyes.

So yeah, that was our laugh of the day.

Maybe its time for...

a new avatar??

Inconsiderate People

A friend pulls up into an office parking spot in the morning and another vehicle pulls up into the spot on the left of her. Just as she goes to open the door, the person in the vehicle to her left has opened her right side doors to unload some boxes, blocking my friend in her car.

On the way down the elevator one evening, exhausted and ready to get home into something comfortable, the elevator stops on the 6th floor. The woman getting in is on her cell phone and steps into the elevator. Not getting reception, she steps halfway out blocking the elevator doors for what seems like forever, taking her time telling the person bye. There are 8 other people waiting to get home on the elevator with me.

Yesterday I watched a man nearly knock down an elderly woman walking up to the 10 items or less aisle at the grocery, rushing around her apparently so he wouldn’t have to wait in line behind her. This left her to stand behind him at the register not quite up to the conveyer belt with an armful of cans and bread. Disgusted, I offered her help and squeezed past the man to place her groceries on the belt, giving him a dirty look while he stood there with his case of beer.

I could go off on a serious rant about this but I won’t. Sometimes I wonder how it will be when I’m older and in need of considerate, helpful people. Every year I watch my cousin, who’s my age, sit on the plush couch at my grandma’s at Thanksgiving while my aunt sits in a hard wooden kitchen chair because his butt is bony and can’t take it. (While I sit my butt on the floor with the rest of the cousins.)

I’ve started the rant. Better stop now.

Weekend Ramblings

Okay okay, so I KNOW I’ve been slacking and haven’t blogged lately. All I needed was a little push… (I think?)

Work has been very demanding lately as we are finally in convention season! I use the exclamation mark not to translate how excited I am, but how hyped up and stressed out I am over it. What once seemed an exciting job, flying all over the country for conferences, now is just something that creates this overwhelming anxiety. Imagine having butterflies in your stomach… for 4 months. Not fun.

Enough griping. I double booked myself this weekend and wasn’t able to do some of the things I had planned to do. However, my lovely friend Lola came in town and we had margaritas and Mexican Friday night. We asked for a corner booth knowing the topics of conversation we always land on. I have a few quotes for you:

“I LOVE 18 year olds. I found the cutest guy at Family Week at the rehab center.”
-Marvil

And after a discussion on why its so easy for guys to sleep naked, but somewhat uncomfortable for some women to:

“I can’t sleep naked. I feel…. naked.”
-Lola

Another one of those inside things… it was funny to me, okay???

Saturday we woke up for a fun-filled day of tailgating. Mind you, we didn't actually park and tailgate ourselves, just mooched off our friends Ali and Critter, who so selflessly supplied us with yummies and yes, more alcohol. It was good to just hang out with everyone and be on campus again. And of course I LOVE tailgating mainly because I LOVE FOOSEBALL. Go Tigers!

So anyway, I woke up this morning feeling really bad. I had hoped to visit a dear friend of mine who just had a baby and due to over-extending myself this weekend was unable to do so. Maybe she will read my blog and give me a fussing. It would serve me right and make me feel better.

Speaking of never having enough time, another friend of mine just had a conversation about how we never feel we have time to just relax on the weekends anymore, do the things we want to do. Its always get up and go here, go there, do this, shop for that. You think when you get older it will slow down a bit, but it doesn’t. (Unless of course you are a recluse with hairy moles and bad breath and don’t want anyone to visit or invite you anywhere anyway.)

So there’s my weekend update. My life really isn’t overly exciting right now and I haven’t much time to blog at work these days. Although, I have a feeling I will be blogging soon as my birthday is coming up and I think J has something up his sleeves… hmmm….

Times are Changing

My sister and her nephew came on my side of town (the “city”) Wednesday for dinner and a visit with her older sister. Sitting at the restaurant table watching her hold a conversation with both me and her son while cutting his broccoli really blapped me in the face about how different things have become in the last decade.

“Yea I saw him in the shop, he looks really good now. Son, don’t blow in your straw. Looks like he’s been working out. Do you want me to salt your broccoli?”

She’s a mother. Okay so I’ve known this for the past 5 years, but she’s just now getting on her feet again after her divorce, getting her own place and really proving herself. I think before I still looked at her as a kid, or just my younger sister instead of a mother and provider because she still had my parents’ help.

When I say she came “in to town” think of it more as a little trek in from our small home town. You know, where everybody knows your name? (Is that Cheers? I can’t remember…) Where I live, they’ve really built the city up recently and the roads are different, more confusing and accident prone. She was close to tears trying to follow me around town to different shops she wanted to visit because people would cut her off, or she got in the wrong lane because that’s the way she remembered going when her and I would bar hop around town 7 years ago.

Wow. You know you’re old when you say you bar-hopped 7 years ago.

She’s safe in her little town. She’s starting to become like my parents. If she can’t get something she needs in a store on her side of town, then she really doesn’t need it. I remember a time when we’d take every chance we could get to venture off into the city. Now she avoids it like the plague.

There’s this one really vivid memory I have of my sister and I. Either my sister or I tell it when we’re hanging out and there’s alcohol involved. For me, I feel like if I don’t revisit that time, the memory will fade. (And then what will we laugh about?)

I was about 10 years old, she was 7, and we shared a room with twin beds. Most nights we were up past our bed time whispering to each other across the room. Isn’t it funny how as adults we jump at the chance to crawl under the covers for some sleep but as kids you did everything you could to avoid it? Anyway, my sister and I would take turns whispering curse words at each other, then laugh because it sounded so strange coming out of our mouths. “Damn! Shit! Bitch!” Other times we would bury our faces in our pillows and scream. I’m actually laughing right now thinking about it. Go home and stick your face in your pillow and scream. Its funny and it feels good. One of our parents would come shuffling down the hall to fuss at us.

“Which one of you girls did that? You are supposed to be asleep by now.” Of course we’d be pretending to sleep and roll over sleepy-eyed, looking all confused. “Huh? What was that Mom? I was sleeping and didn’t hear you…”

So anyway, this whole ramble was just about how different life is now. Sometimes its yucky – responsibility, careers, bills. But sometimes it’s neat seeing how far you or a sibling has come.

That’s it. Thanks for listening.

Random Thought of the Day

If a cheeseburger is called a cheeseburger because it's a burger with a slice of cheese on it, then why doesn't a hamburger have a slice of ham on it?

I WANT A CHEESEBURGER!!!

Stalkers & Serial Killers

First off, I apologize for the scary title, but its what this post is about. Read it again. Makes you cringe, huh?

Not sure the reason for my paranoia these days, but lately I’ve been very hesitant about getting into elevators with people or running in the dark. I know it seems I’m judging strangers, but its not even about that. I’m being paranoid and I know it.

Seriously think about it though -- anyone could be a stalker, or a serial killer. Your neighbor, the mailman, Betty Jo at the local grocery. I just recently crossed a man that was walking really stiffly down a hall in my office and thought “he could be a crazy.” Hell, my friends could be crazies. HOW DO WE KNOW???

I actually have an ex-friend that I was scared of being alone with because he had that crazy, I-could-snap-your-neck look. But, he seemed gentle, which make me more skittish around him. At the end of our (platonic) relationship I found myself agreeing with him on things I normally wouldn’t, because I’d witnessed the wild look in his eyes during many a silly argument.

There’s a really tall guy with extremely wild hair that runs laps around my complex, and when he ends up in the path running behind me I make a point speeding up and head on home. I can’t help it. In a way I think its good to be cautious... right? I can’t be the only one who does this. I KNOW I’m not crazy. I KNOW IT. I don’t wanna be in the room with no windows again, noooo...

Relationship Entertainment

When you think of being in a relationship, there are things you gain from being part of a “we”. Naturally the following things may pop into your head: movie & dining partner, physical affection, personal masseuse, etc., but you don’t normally think that you’ll gain a priceless form of entertainment.

I, however, have.

Besides knowing that I’m with someone who has an equally sick sense of humor that can partner up with me to create (at least) a good hour of belly-laughing entertainment, I also know that I can be entertained without even provoking it.

Saturday night I had a drunken monkey on my hands. Not severely, but just enough beer to bring the good stuff to surface. I find these days I actually drink less so that I can be in complete conscious form so I can truly appreciate these little episodes of entertainment and remember them the next day, 1. so I can blog them (duh!) and 2. so I can embarrass J while informing him of his hilariousness.

Is hilariousness a word? Spell check thinks so. Hmm…

So anyway, J is basking in his intoxicated-induced sweet talking, coming up with line after (very clever) line, and he stops for a second and looks over at me while we’re walking to my car.

J: “You’re beautiful.”
Me: “Aww, thanks babe.”
(Small pause-)
J: “Baby?”
Me: “Yes?”
J: “Do you know how beautiful you are, or just when I tell you?”

I love these silly little remarks, even if they don’t make a whole lot of sense. A little later we both crash, me in my usual spot, J taking up the rest of the bed with his monkey limbs. “Hey,” I whisper loudly to him, “can you move over a little?”

You’d swear I had asked him to get up out of bed and check for intruders. He moved over a little with much huffiness. Then when I get in, I tug a little on the sheets cuz he has them all. I get just enough over on me and he yanks them off of me.

Lol. Okay, this man is one of the most gentle, happy men I know, and watching him scowl at me in his sleep and yank covers off me... I went from being too sleepy to talk in more than a whisper to actually smothering my laughs in my pillow. He never remembers these, but I think that makes it even funnier.

There ya go. The highlight of my weekend. ;)

Word Verification

Not too long ago a fellow blogger, DJ Metronome, posted about how irritating word verification was. I decided to take it off mine because, well, it IS irritating. However, it was back on a week later after I had to delete two junk posts immediately after turning the sucker off.

But now its kinda funny, like there’s an actual person behind verification. Have you noticed lately how much more difficult it is to read the letters? They’re all cursive and sideways in really bright colors, placing letters beside others that look alike. “Ha! Try to figure that one out! Oh yeah? So that one wasn’t hard enough for you?? How about..this! fftylliIlff!!”

>sigh< I’ve got to find something better to do with my free time…

A Woman's Prayer

Dear Lord,

I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; and Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.

AMEN

-- Now that's funny. I don't care who you are.

My Roses!

Totally forgot about the picture I took of the roses J gave me a few weeks ago which were on the roll of film we just developed. Aren’t they beeeautiful??

Get over it. I'll brag and gush if I want to.

Riding on the Tickfaw

I took a couple of vacation days off last week so J took me riding on the Tickfaw on one of them. After I got used to being in the boat and got comfortable with going over 15 miles per hour, it was very relaxing. We pulled up at Ten Lizzy’s on the River and tied the boat to the pier, went in for a beer and some fried alligator. Wow, this sounds really Southern...

I took a couple pictures of the camps out at the river. There’s these little shacks that you see in the movies that make you think of Louisiana bayous and the South, and then you see huge mansions on the river with an RV and a yacht that has you wishing for the lottery. A bizarre contrast and an amazing sight to see.




Okay so now I have to be mushy and thank you know who again for the fun day. >Muah!< I loves you Monkey.

The Rating Game

Last night after a bowl of home made red beans and rice, J and I headed to the pool for a little relaxing. We like our pool time. It’s a place for quiet, serious talks, gazing into each others eyes >cough< Bleh. S’cuse me. Got a little sick for a second…

The pool has been known to bring the truth out on many levels. All he has to do is say “want to go take a dip in the pool?” with a certain look in his eye, and I know its about to get deep.

We have this retarded need for ego feeds and knowing how the other person feels about each other. (And to be honest, probably me more so than he.) Somehow we started asking each other to “rate” things, such as “rate the quality of our time together”. This very quickly turned into a game.

May I say this is an EXCELLENT, sneaky way of learning what the other person thinks about certain aspects of your relationship without hurting any feelings. You must say “be honest, this is a game. It won’t hurt my feelings.” And somehow, it doesn’t. Because it’s a game. (And because there’s a tall glass of vodka lemonade in your hand.)

Apparently J rates:

Our quality of time together a 10.
My friends on different levels – Michelle & David, you get the highest score! (and the crowd goes willldddd…)
My, err, ok maybe I won’t mention that one…
My cooking – an 8 1/2 . Because, and this is too cute, “there’s no junk food or sweets in your house.” He likes the cooking, but because this chic doesn’t keep Nestles Crunch or things of the like in her house, it pulls the score down a point and half from perfection. >sigh< I’m working on it…

New Orleans & Chicken Quesadillas

Time for a belated weekend update!

J & I felt like we spent most of the weekend on the road, but it ended up being a fun weekend. There was a birthday party on Saturday in Slidell to attend, so on the way in he took me through Metairie & New Orleans. When you’ve spent the last year looking at pictures of the damage and hearing stories, you can imagine what happened but never really know. Seeing the rummage and broken houses, the roofless shacks and water mark lines on the houses made it real. We drove through an area near the levee and J pointed out markings on the street that read “Help Us Please”. Each house was marked with an X and the number of bodies found in it. Businesses had spray painted the sides of their buildings with “BEWARE: We shoot looters!” We had to make a pit stop for the ladies room on the way out at Home Depot and the parking lot was jammed packed, walking through the store felt like walking through Walmart on a Sunday afternoon. So many people were still buying materials to rebuild their homes.

On a lighter note, after the birthday party we ventured over to P-town for a little eating and laughs at the Sanders. I learned a new way to make chicken thanks to Michelli, and we saw her beeeaaautiful baby room. If I ever grow a baby in ma belly, I’m going to attach Michelle to my hip to help me decorate the little one’s room. After the oo’s and aahh’s, we had chicken quesadilla’s and put a dvd on – The Benchwarmers. Hilarious. If you haven’t seen it and you’re in the mood for stupid funny, it’s the movie to watch. Two minutes in and the lights went out in the neighbor – a small town con. We made the best of it and eventually the lights came back on.

After a full day of running and seeing and playing, my monkey and I headed back home. I think we’re getting old… we were in bed by midnight. On a SATURDAY NIGHT.

That’s your weekend update. Now back to regular programming.

Another Day

I woke up this morning not remembering what it was like being single. My blog heading reads Another Day in the Same Life: I wake up to the same walls, smell, and light. I’m not so sure how true that statement is anymore. Sure, the walls are the same dull off white color, the light will always be dim but soothing, yet the smells are different now. The sounds are different. The way I feel in my surroundings… different.

After he snoozes his cell alarm for the fourth time, he rolls out of bed and I roll into his warm place to breathe in the scent he left. I usually fall in and out of sleep but never let myself fall completely into unconsciousness because I know the kiss and snuggle good bye is coming soon. What girl in her right mind would want to miss that for a little snooze time?

Today he needed a pair of jeans he said I washed earlier in the week. Not fully comprehending due to the state of wakefulness (or lack thereof) I was in, I told him I hadn’t washed his jeans and got out of bed to offer help. Normally I wouldn’t think twice about keeping my happy ass in the bed while the guy standing in my closet figured out what to do. Then again, normally I wouldn’t have a man staying the night, or be washing his jeans for that matter. I stood there looking at him, a little sorry I hadn’t washed them the night before as I had planned on doing. I pulled a pair of his jeans from the bottom of my hamper to throw in the dryer. At that point I think he realized I was still too loopy from sleep to think straight and told me sweetly not to worry about it. On the way to my sink I remembered where his freshly washed jeans were and with a grin pulled them out of my other closet and presented them to him. Good girl!

A minute later I was sitting on my kitchen counter nursing a Diet Dr. Pepper, watching him make his lunch for the day. I studied his back, the scary tatt on his shoulder blade, his innocent white boxers… thinking he should be wearing black or something with skulls on them. When did these little things begin to amuse me so much?

When he left and the door closed, I stood for a second to listen to his footsteps fade and took in the room. The apartment is so different when he’s not there. I can still smell and see him everywhere -- his cologne, the cell phone he left on my dresser, his shaving gel on the side of my tub.

So yeah, it’s another day, but not so much the same life anymore. Maybe it’s time to change my header…

File Nazi and Romantical Musings

Well guys, the file nazi will be here before 1pm today. I plan on taking a really long lunch before and have a few (meaning 4 or 5) margaritas. Top Shelf. Whish meee luff.

I had a really productive night, made some jewelry for my upcoming shows with Michelli. Repaired a co-worker’s necklace for her as well, took a run around the complex, and punched my upstairs neighbor in his mouth. Okay, so maybe I just told him he was loud. Sounds like an elephant parade up there. He’s moving, which is the reason for the recent noise. Yippee!! No more late night tap dancing above my head, no more climbing on my bed to pound the ceiling with my tennis shoe.

Oh! And I also watched Pride and Prejudice last night. Man, I needed a good cry like that. I used to say every woman needed a good cry at least once a month, clear out all that backed up emotion. Well, last night I had mine – what a beautiful love story. Watching a movie like that when I was single was kind of hard and would usually leave me wishing and wanting. Now it just makes me want to kidnap J and make him wear one of those white wigs and maybe a pair of tights that show under those short knickers they wore in the old days. Hmm… or maybe not.