Wednesday, May 26, 2010

A name for our little monkey

For us, picking out a name for our child gave us a bit of anxiety. The permanence of it. That along with making sure he or she didn't end up with initials that would ensure childhood jokes. And last but not least, choosing a name that wouldn't blend into the crowd or end up on the Top 10 Baby Names list the following year.

We wanted something strong and unique. Something we wouldn't grow tired of. A name that fit us as parents as well as our baby.

After weeks of tossing around names we decided to sweep the issue under the rug until the sonogram. Once we found out the sex of our child we'd be able to eliminate half the names.

A couple of weeks or so after we found out we were having a son I got a text from the Baberhusband with an idea. A name. One that finally stirred something inside me. Just the night before we retired a name we were sort of holding onto, a name that we liked but had reservations about. When we found out yet another person named their son that same name we both agreed to lay it to rest. So, reading this text from J excited me:

"What about Bo?" I stared at the text. Bo. And then it clicked. I immediately called him.

"Like from the childhood story you've told me?" Yes, he tells me. I get a little teary-eyed, but being the commitment-phob I am, I tell him maybe, that we would have to talk more about it and likely spell it a different way. Beau was much more pleasing to the eye, I thought. He agreed.

My husband was a very mischievious little boy to say the least. I love when he starts in on one of his stories from his childhood... how he and his cousin did such-and-such and got in trouble for it, how he accidentally locked and shut the door of his mom's truck while his infant brother and the keys were still in it because he wanted to "Help Mommy". So many hilarious stories of he and his grandfather.

When J told me how as a young child he was unable to pronounce "boy" and said "bo" instead, it melted my heart. Patting his lap for Jason to sit on, his grandfather would say "You my little boy?"

"I not a little bo, Paw Paw," he would say. "I'm a big bo."

I spent some time saying the name in my head. I loved the sound of it. Most of all I loved how it just felt right. It was like the saying When you know, you just know.

And so from a sweet little memory of my husband's childhood comes our son's name. Beau Isaac. Isaac is Jason's middle name, a family name. One that we both love because of its strength and uniqueness and have always agreed to carry on.

Beau is also a very strong name... it means handsome. How much better can you get than that? ;) More than anything I love that my husband picked it out. It makes me feel proud to be his wife.

Today I'm 26 weeks, 4 days pregnant. And that much closer to meeting our little Beau Isaac.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Losing Stuff

Stumbling and waddling down the hall this morning after Baber to kiss him bye, something comes to me:

I'm losing EVERYTHING.

My memory is gone. As in checked out and hasn't returned. I'm a bit paranoid about making mistakes with Jillry so I'm writing things down everywhere and listing everything.

I recently lost my toes. Oh where, oh where have my little toes gone, oh where, oh where can they beeee....

My waist. Pretty much gone.

My balance. Love for cooking. Care for cleaning.

In my college days I had this theory that the world had just so much of certain things and us earth-dwellers shared those things. The amount of weight in the world was constant: If I stepped on the scales and saw I gained a few pounds, sure enough my friend had lost a few. She'd laugh and say I gained the weight she lost.

Or love. By my senior year I decided that I had had enough love in my life, that maybe I was supposed to be single. That I had experienced my fair share of love and there was just so much that existed. My turn was over.

When I graduated and had a job waiting for me I decided that it was what I got in return for love lost. So you may lose in one department but gain in another area of life.

Hey, I was young. *shrug* But wait, I think I want to use that theory just one more time, if I can.

I may have lost my girlish figure, my ability to remember whether I washed my hair yesterday or not, the pep in my step, but I'm gaining something in return. Something so much larger than all those things that I imagine I'll never miss them again when he arrives.

Yesterday I was driving across town and as the baby kicked I swore that in my peripheral vision I saw my stomach move. I placed my hand on my tummy and the feel of him kicking from both inside and out was just ... crazy. This is what Jason is feeling, I thought. It could have been my mess of emotions or even the song playing in the background that heightened the moment for me, but I just started crying. Silly pregnant girl driving down the road, just a bawling.

So yeah. I may have lost all control of my emotions, but in return of all the things I've lost there's so much more to gain. Our son. :)

Fourteen more weeks to go Baby Beau. We can't wait to see who's responsible for Mama's "lost stuff".

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Moments to Remember

Mother's Day was one to remember this year. Though with both J and I working long hours, we struggled to find the best presents for our mommies. After fretting for the longest week ever about it, the weekend comes and goes in a flash.

But one moment on Mother's Day Eve felt like a moment paused in time. One I hope and wish that I will remember always.

Some people told me before Mother's Day that I'm not quite a mother yet. Others told me I most definitely am, I'm with child after all. I shrugged it off, it wasn't something I thought much about. After all, I wasn't running around toting children to school events, disciplining and bathing and picking up toys. I certainly don't feel like a mother yet.

But on Saturday night I was celebrated as Mommy-to-be. After my nightly ritual, I crawled into bed with my sweet husband and was surprised by a pretty bag he had waiting for me.

What's this? I ask. I am genuinely surprised. My husband just smiles at me with the biggest grin he owns. Its then that I realize I may not quite be a mother yet, but to him I am essentially the mother of his children. I open the bag with serious love in my heart and tears in my eyes.

Baber had carefully chosen two frames for me: one for the refrigerator with a magnet on it that said I Love My Mommy and another standing frame with So Little, So Loved on it, both containing photos from the sonogram of our little monkey in them. The standing frame resides on my bedside table, specifically the place J meant for it to be. Now I wake up to little kicks every morning and the photo of our baby.

Wait, I've gotten ahead of myself. As if the frames on their own weren't enough for this first-time mother, my creative husband had also carefully selected two cards for me to read. One was a sweet card from husband, wishing his wife a Happy Mother's Day. The second was a card... from baby.

On the outside of the card there was a simple photo of a dog peeking out of a wooden bucket. Somewhat similiar to Mini's appearance. Inside was a letter from our son. He's still in the womb and look how brilliant he is already! So much of this moment I'd like to keep for ourselves, so I'll paraphrase a little:

"Daddy always tells me how pretty you are and I always hear him telling you how much he loves you."

"It hasn't been very long, but I want you to know I love you so much already."

Oh, and let's not forget the last line that had me laughing through my mess of emotions:

"P.S. - Is that what Mini looks like?"

Just typing these lines from the card has me tearing up again. When Jason does something for me, he does it so right, with so much thought and love that it just shakes me. It reminds me of how lucky I am that we found each other and get to spend our lives together.

Moments like these comfort me and console me when I'm feeling down in my pregnancy... it helps me remember that I am not alone in this. That just because I'm the one carrying our child doesn't mean that my husband is just an innocent bystander. He's living this too. He's very much feeling this too. And like me, he can't wait to meet our little Beau.

Just a couple of snapshots taken on the evening of Mother's Day:

Hubby pulled up three chairs for us to relax in after a long, but yet somehow quick, Mother's Day. One for each of our behinds and one to prop my feet upon. Oh and of course, for Mini to nap on.

With a glass of tea for me and a beer for Baber, we sat and talked about the weekend that had just passed. About our baby's name. What he will look like. The things we can't wait to experience with him.

Thanks Baber, for making me feel special on Mother's Day. And hey, while I'm at it: thanks for taking care of me and for putting up with my nutty cuckoo moments, my fading memory, my new clumsiness. For responding with a smirk and a laugh when I'm being difficult.

I love you.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Baby Catch Up: Baby's Room & More

There's so much to blog about these days and I just can't seem to organize it all. Let's start with this:

Today is Friday, May 14th. Tomorrow I'll be 25 weeks pregnant. A recent pic of my protruding belly:

I know, my hair looks so cute that short, right? J and I had an early day off a few weeks ago so we ran off to the river for some lazying around. But, not before some photos. While my tank showed off my belly, it also showed off my ghostly, sun-untouched skin. So my husband gladly stood in for the photo. :)

Mini really enjoys when we get to sneak off to the river for a little family time. J lays a blanket on the sand for us to sprawl on, so we're down on her puppy level. Once we're on the blanket, she runs circles around and through us on the blanket, kicking sand up all over us. She thinks she's so funny.

In the past few weeks we've gotten our dream glider and ottoman for baby's room, fallen in love with a name for our son and picked out a crib bedding set. So much is happening so fast and I'm trying to log as much as possible.

A few photos of the new glider & ottoman, compliments of Baber's parents:

Mini jumped up on the new glider with me so I could test it out. She's our first baby - I wonder how she'll react when our bebe boy arrives? Its obvious that she knows I'm with child, she rarely lets me hold her these days and when I do get ahold of her, she wiggles her body around so she's not laying on the baby bump.

And our precious new crib bedding, compliments of my parents:

I have so much running through my head on paint and accessories for the little guy's room and have sketched it in my head a few dozen times.

As for the baby's name, I'll save that for another post. It deserves it's own, don't you think?

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