Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Rolaids, stargazer lillies and sweet friends.

It's 4:oopm. I'm sitting on the couch with a glass of peach tea and a full heart.

Never did I expect so many people to contact me after my last blog post. I'm ridden with guilt because my innocent, most supportive friends all sent messages with hopes that they had not offended me.

Let's state the obvious: I'm a sensitive person. (If I hear one of you fake a gasp like you're surprised I'm coming through the screen.) We all know that pregnant women are known to be sensitive as well, so there you have it - I got the double whammy.

When you're feeling low and sick, the last thing you want to hear is the bad stuff. I've had a string of bad days and I think it finally caught up with me. Not to sweep the negative comments under the rug: they do affect me. But, I'd like to switch back to the good and get on with it. So thank you, friends, for your concern and sweet messages. ((hug)) I'm a lucky girl to have you in my life.

Back to the good... Like today, for instance. The Baberhusband came home early and declared it was the perfect day for a lunch date. He was patient as I got ready at the pace of a slug. He was patient when I told him I wanted Subway. No, a cheeseburger. No, Mexican. No, I really do want a cheeseburger.

We settled in at Sammy's (a local restaurant), I ordered a cheeseburger and side salad, he ordered a brisket poboy and fries. When his showed up with tomatoes on it, I nearly lost it.

"You have GOT to do something with those things," I sort of blurped out, hand covering mouth. He sweetly tucked them into a napkin and pushed them aside.

"Want a bite?" he asks, shoving his fatty smelly brisket sandwich in my direction. I put my cheeseburger down and bid it farewell. "No, it stinks."

I ask the waitress if she would mind switching my Diet Coke to tea. She asks if it tastes funny, to which I reply "Yes, but its probably just me." I'm already over this lunch-out deal.

So at this point J is snickering at me, he's actually enjoying this. Says "You don't want a bite of my sandwich??" I fake a barfing sound and threaten him with his life. He tells me if I want, he'll eat over there, pointing to a far table. Or that he could bag it up and eat it later, sighing like he's all neglected. I look up, thinking of what I can get away with here in public, surely stomping on his little toe will do, when I see his grin. He's clearly pleased with himself.

I can't help it, I get the giggles.

We were supposed to hit Walmart for the grocery shopping I just can't seem to do these days, but after the restaurant I was feeling worse, so J insisted he take me home. Said he would come back for the shopping later. After a small discussion, I give in.

Next stop, the pharmacy for heartburn meds. Oh the joy. Fruit flavored Rolaids. Yum.

Stepping out of the pharmacy, J grabs my hand and walks to the next shop. The florist.

"I want to buy the Baberwife a flower. To make her feel better," he says, and this time it is me that is truly pleased with him. I let him drag me into the florist while he picks out a stargazer lily, my favorite, and hands it to me. I feel a little fussed over, so I'm a bit embarrassed at first and then it hits me: he's happy. Happy and supportive and trying to do any little thing he can to make me feel better.

A lilly for my Jilly, he says as we get in the car. The flower is beautiful and I'm beaming from ear to ear.

Friday, January 08, 2010

You just love her.

Good morning. *yawn* (Isn't that baby room the cutest?)

Its 10:45am as I'm writing this. I finally woke around 10am this morning, its become a thing for me these days. Yes, the days of waking at 6:30 with the husband, raring to go and ready to take on the world, have sadly gone. Well, maybe not sadly. (I've forgotten how good it feels to sleep in!)

Let's be honest, this blog is about happy things. Beautiful milestones, great adventures, the love of my life, my mini monster of a puppy dog. So if I've been a bit absent, please forgive me. Like all parents tell us growing up: "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."

I will say this. I've been struggling. As I mentioned in my last post, I'm waiting to find the happy in this pregnancy. I WANT to be happy. Thankfully I have a handful of great friends that talk with me daily, carrying me through with words like "Its gets better, I promise." or "You'll be clear when you're out of your first trimester." I believe them, because I have to.

Unfortunately I also have "friends" that just love to feed me the negative. That, when I mention I finally got a good night's sleep they say "Enjoy it now cuz you'll never see that again!" Really? Or comments about losing your freedom forever. I mean, come on. So yeah, really holding on to those positive friends right now and my sweet SIL who tells me that your life changes for the good, that everything, EVERYTHING you go through is so worth it. And again, I believe that, because I have to.

My sweet, supportive and patient husband has been so good to me during this time. He tells me to sleep in and doesn't let me object, because he knows my guilt issues. Goes with me to the store to buy embarrassing medicinal items and laughs at me when I tell him it seems I'm buying items for an 80 year old man rather than a 31 year old pregnant woman.

He hasn't flinched when I, yet again, say that I don't want to cook. I know, ME? Not want to cook? Our fare has consisted of frozen foods, chicken salad and pizza as of late. He's taken over the laundry as well as the dishes, because I swear there's been a chemical spill underneath our kitchen sink. I've been told your sense of smell heightens, so I expected a few things. But not being able to walk in a certain area of my kitchen because the cleaning supplies under the cabinet are screaming at me? Didn't expect that.
The receptionist at our dentist office asked him the other day how I was doing. "Is she nauseous?" to which he replied Yes. "Is she moody yet?" to which he replied Yes. "You just love her," she told him. "You just love her." I cried when he told me the conversation, because really that's all we want at this point. Understanding and love. And carbs. Lots of carbs...

For a moment last night as I lay on my husband's chest in bed I felt really good. As in normal. He told me when I cry and express the things that worry my mind when I'm hurting the most really bother him, really upset him. I told him I feel as if I have nothing to talk about these days, that the sickness consumes me, and therefore brings negative thoughts. Which, of course, I have to purge or else they'll just sit and simmer. It feels better to purge them, make room for better thoughts.

I look at him and tell him just before he spoke I was thinking of baby names. He looks down and smiles, kisses me on the forehead. We both know there's good ahead and we can't wait for it.

So, I want to end this post on a good note. Today, I am 7 weeks, 2 days pregnant. The things we're looking forward to are:
Learning the sex of the baby.

Being able to hear the heartbeat.

Painting and designing the baby room.

Finally showing and having my husband lay his head on my buddha belly.

Happy Monday lovelies. *smooch* I want a cheeseburger.

Thursday, January 07, 2010

Crave, Create, SHARE.

NEW items in shop! If you prefer purchasing check-by-mail, feel free to contact me at JillryLove@gmail.com to reserve your pieces.

Its freezing and rainy these days, so I'm holed up in my craft room making newbies. Stay tuned for more new pieces!

Saturday, January 02, 2010

The Beginning of Our Journey

So. If you haven't heard it from me directly, on Facebook or figured it out from my last post, the Baberhusband and I are having a baby! We're still pinching ourselves. I guess we really have to behave as adults now. :)

This past Monday we went for bloodwork, which confirmed the two tests I took the morning of Christmas Eve. Today we went in together for my first ultrasound. So many emotions running through us... excitement, nervousness... I have a feeling these next 8 months are going to fly by.

We got a shot of the little bean for the first time this morning. Amazing. Unbelieveable. I never understood before when people would say "Look at our baby. He/she is a miracle!" Confused, I'd think "No, its a baby. Its the result of the love between a man and a woman. Its a miniature human." and so on and so forth. Never until you are in these shoes do you understand what the miracle is. You see it from a different perspective, one I'm still unsure of how to explain. Its just plain amazing.

I want to blog as much of our journey as possible, so I'll start at the beginning...

The week of Christmas I had a feeling I could be prego. However, I had the feeling (or hope) in months before, so I tried not to let myself get excited when Mother Nature didn't deliver my monthly gift. The morning of Christmas Eve we decided to take a test...

Me: (Just waking up.) Should I take the test?
Him: (Yawning) Umm, I dunno. If you want?
Me: Well, no. I don't want to now.
Him: Huh? Why?
Me: Cause you don't want to, and if you aren't ready or excited I don't want to do it. (Huffy)
Him: (Defensive) I just woke up babe. Take the test.
Me: Nope.
Him: Babe, take it!
Me: Nope. (Hiding grin.)
Him: YOU TAKE THE TEST, NOW. (Coming to attack me.)

I giggle, cuz I win. We're fully awake now and can't avoid it any longer.

I tell myself not to look at the test until we see it together. As I'm setting it on the back of the toilet, I grimace. I may have seen it, shoot.

We brush our teeth before looking, because if its positive we'll want to play kissie face, right?

And we look. Its positive. J swears, but smiles while he does it. I snicker. We can't believe it. It doesn't feel real. Hugs, then kissie face. We look again. And just smile at each other.

We dress slowly, with a silent determination. Left foot in sock. Right foot in sock. We are going to be parents. Arm through hole. Parents. Watch, bracelet. Of a baby. Belt, shoes. A real live BABY.

J's Mom's birthday is Christmas Eve, so we have lunch with them. We both know a secret and for that hour, it was torture keeping it. But it was all ours and I will never forget those handful of hours when only we knew. The little secret smiles and hand squeezes. After lunch we ran through the rain to a drug store for another test. Which turned up positive as well. We decided to tell our parents before the night was over. It would be the best Christmas present ever.

On pretty blank cards we marked a positive and negative sign, circling the positive, and handed them to our parents as "a little something extra for Christmas". The response was too funny. J's family was excited, but you know my family went nutty cuckoo. I will never forget their response.

And here we are. Today, I am 6 weeks, 2 days pregnant. The little bean is sucking the life out of me right now. These past two weeks of holiday time has been filled with extreme nausea and exhaustion. Thankfully I received a prescription for nausea pills today, so I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I want to be happy and enjoy this time. It has been really difficult seeing through the dizzy pain and feeling that happiness. I'm hoping it will pass soon.

In the meantime, while I've been out of commission, my husband is being so very helpful and supportive. New Years Eve we laid on the couch all day together. I dozed on and off. In my pajamas. Without a stitch of makeup. Without touching my hair with a brush once. He held my hand and didn't let me think about housework or whatever needed to be done. He promised to get to it later, told me to relax. And he did. As I sit on my butt typing this, he's putting away loads of laundry that have been residing on our couch for days. Now, if I can just get him to cook.... ;)

We're curious and anxious to see how the Mini Monster is going to react to our new addition. In the months to come, we plan on slowly introducing her to the bebe. Though we're sure its too soon, we laid her on my belly so she could hear the heartbeat. We know she's going to be the best big sister.

I plan on keeping an online journal through this exciting time in our lives. I hope you will enjoy reading along.

Much love,

The BaberMama

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