Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Unwelcome Hitchhiker

Okay you know how much spiders freak me out. But then again, who isn't a little ooged out by the creepy little things?

I get into my car yesterday to head home for a long lunch break. Not even a quarter mile down the road I look up and spot a scary brown spider hanging out on my rearview mirror. He's just above me so that he can leap onto my face if he wants to, and I realize this, squeal out loud (with no one in the car to hear me) and yank the wheel over into an office complex down the road from my office. I hurridly swerve into a parking spot, throw open the door, jump out and peer into my car. Where'd he go?!

I decide to search for him at a different angle so I run around my car and throw open the passenger door. No spider. Argh!!! I shake my hands out and jig a little, thinking about the creepy crawly roaming free in my car, hiding under seats and on dashboards, waiting for me to let my guard down.

*sigh* I stop freaking out and suddenly become aware of my surroundings. I am in an office complex, with dozens of cars parked around mine. I'm parked in front of an office with 4 large windows. And on top of it all, its lunch hour, so there are people walking to their cars all over the lot.

I can feel my face get hot. I straighten up and realize I have to get into my car. A good 15 minutes have been wasted on my lunch hour, and besides - am I really just going to stand here and wait for it to jump out my car so I can go on my merry way?

Cringing, I slide back into my car, eyes darting all around. As I'm pulling out of the lot to head home I imagine the little spider crawling on my fingers, causing me to jerk and wreck into an innocent driver.

Eventually I talk myself into the idea that its only a spider and the worst scenario is that it could crawl on me and bite me while driving. No big deal. Right? *shudder*

Monday, October 29, 2007

Sisterly Antics and Head Colds

Saw this on PostSecret and just had to laugh. My sister and I are so likely to do this, and I'm surprised (and a little disappointed) that we never thought about this before. Jenny and I have been know to ask either other about healing venereal infections, one-night stands (that never happened) and lice while scratching our heads to pass the time in a long Walmart line. We revel in the disgusted or shocked faces on people standing behind us in line. Shock value is always something we love and have strived for in every day situations. Call us bored, call us immature, but no matter how old we are, we will always dance in a vacant grocery store aisle to see if we can get away with it before another customer turns onto the aisle. And we will always laugh a little too loud at nothing in particular in a restaurant just to see if we can turn heads or make the other sister squirm from embarrassment.

Moving on....

J and I have been sick for over a week now. We are those people that sound like we're holding on noses closed with our fingers as we talk. My bathroom trash has never seen so much tissue before. We actually slept without touching one night this weekend. *gasp* I know. Its insane. We've never been sick together, but to be honest, it wasn't that bad. Comforting each other was quite nice, along with snorting and sneezing together, and drinking loads of oj together. Cooking while sick is really tough cuz you can't taste anything!

We've definitely moved into the comfort stage in our relationship, which I had (for some unknown reason) dreaded from the start. But I was so silly in wanting to prevent the comfort phase. You peeps that have been there in relationships know what I mean. It is a wonderful thing! I had bed head a good part of the morning Saturday, but did J cringe? (And did I attempt to comb said hair? Nope.) Instead, he just patted the couch, and after I had settled under the blanket with him, he just ran his hands through it until it resembled the hair I used to know. He's actually quite the hair stylist.

Back to work and drinking a little peach tea to soothe the throat. I only know its peach tea because the little packet said so. Cuz I tell ya, I sure can't taste it.

Hope nobody has a case of the Mondays like I do.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Meme Time

First of all, thanks for all the sweet birthday wishes. I think I am a little wishy washy with the way I feel about being 29. Most of it has to do with being away from my Babers right now. We are miles apart during the week and will be for the next year or so. I want nothing more than to have him here, to take care of him, to have fun and be silly with him, and to share the ins and outs of every day life. I think more than anything I had hoped at 29 I would be making new steps in my life, steps I'm just itching to make and really look forward to. But you just have to take life as it comes and I just have to focus on that.

Okay okay, enough of the blabbering! I'm at home sick right now and thought I'd take advantage and blog away.

Kelly tagged me on this meme and I just have to say this one was tough to finish!

5 Things that I do, did, or like that I'm proud of, but that others may think are totally lame

1. I still twirl. I took dance (ballet, tap & jazz) for 10 years growing up. Like some young teens I sort of grew out of dance classes and recitals, but I never lost the passion. To this day I still twirl and do dance moves at random when I hear a song that moves me to do so. I may not do it in front of many people, but my living room furniture gets the occasional mini-recital. This, I understand to be extremely lame and quite dorky.

2. I craft. Yep, I’m a crafty little fella. I love being creative and feel the need to have my hands in something a least a few times a week, be it scrapbooking, painting, jewelry making, whatever. Might be on the verge of lamesville, but I’m proud to be a little artist!

3. I’m emotional. Sometimes when my new niece Kaitlyn does something really cute like chuckle or stand for a few seconds before falling on her butt, tears spring to my eyes. When I’m upset with someone, whether I’m angry or just sad, I cannot control my tears and my voice always gets shaky. I used to hate it, but now I know it’s just a part of me that will never change and I have accepted it. Cry baby? Nope. Just in touch with my emotions.

4. I love channels that are basically made for women. This includes TLC and the Oxygen channel. I’m not the girl who pretends she watches the news every single night, or who watches ESPN just to be cool with the guys. I watch television for women. And you can think its lame, but I’m proud of it, dang it.

5. I won the science fair and went to regionals. To be short, in high school I grew 10 different kinds of molds in petree dishes and won, which sent me to regionals. In high school I was a cheerleader and voted "most fun", so it didn't seem the norm for my "type". But, I was extremely excited and proud of myself, even if I did make me look like a dork.

So yeah, that was a toughie. My turn, my turn! I'm tagging:

Lady in the Street

Monday, October 22, 2007

I'm an Old Woman

As J emailed me earlier today: "Tomorrow you will be 29 forever!!!"

I've never been one of those women that thought growing old was bad news, but now that I'm getting closer to 30, its got me thinking. I'm sure I'll get a little grief from blog peeps that are older than I, but you remember turning 29 - its "almost 30"! And I don't know why, but its a wee bit scary. Maybe its because I still don't feel like an adult and I worry that those numbers will force it on me.

We celebrated my birthday early on Sunday due to my real b-day landing on Tuesday. As usual, J and I said our goodbyes Sunday evening, but on the way home I got a little down when I realized this would be the first year ever that I'm alone on my birthday. J is out of town. I don't live with a roomie. I live just far enough from my folks to make it an inconvenience for them to visit. I doubt any of my friends will remember because I never make a big deal out my birthday. Boo hoo, right?

So, I told myself to hush, that I was a big girl and as I was walking into my apartment Sunday evening I was greeted with a little surprise from Babers. He'll sort of be with me tomorrow. Kinda. But not really. *looking down and kicking dirt*

October is birthday month for me. Me, my sister, and my nephew all have birthdays within days of each other. Great fun on the pocketbook. Below are some photos of the family's festivities.

And Lord forbid we forget to include wacky sisterly photos. We are true artists!

It was a pretty good (pretend) birthday all in all.

Friday, October 19, 2007


WW - Yesterday was my 3rd weigh-in at WW's. This past week I lost 1.2 lbs for a total of 5.2 lbs lost so far. You may think it silly to be excited about this small number, but this small number has allowed me to wear my favorite jeans again and drop a pants size. Woot woot! And, um, J even said my waist felt smaller. *blushing*

Birthday! - I am so not going to be a birthday whore, but I am a little excited about this year's birthday (this coming week). J wants to split my birthday into 2 weekends because my actual birth day lands on Tuesday. So, present this weekend and then he's taking me out next weekend. I feel a little spoiled and almost bad about dogging on an old friend of mine about her obsessive birthday outlook - would that be OBOD? Anyways, he knows what I really want for my birthday, and it doesn't require money. (Get your minds out the gutter!!! It is NOT sessssual.) It would mean the world to me, but I know he's got to be ready to do it for himself, not me.

I just wish he would stop smoking crack!!!!

Kidding people!!

What I really want next weekend is to put on my heels and lipstick and feel pretty. Is that vain or what? We have a sushi restaurant downtown that has a terrace on the 6th floor with an amazing view of the Mississippi river bridge in all its night-lighted glory. I would love to go there, sip a girlie martini and hold hands with my Babers while enjoying the view on that windy terrace. I would feel pretty cuz the wind would whip through my hair like fans on a model, and J will num num me because it gives me goose bumps. And I'll love it.

Christmas - I am consumed with ideas for presents, ALREADY. I aim to have my shopping done in November because I despise mall shopping with a bunch of crazy people. And their kids. And teenage girls with thongs. *cutting eyes* Okay, I won't start...

Seriously though, I went shopping with a co-worker yesterday and wanted, wanted, wanted! I take pride in saying "I don't like shopping" and being truly sincere about it. But yesterday I walked into a store that carried Vera Bradly and went beserk! Beautiful printed sunglass cases, wallets, purses, checkbook covers, sunglasses, fleur de lis jewelry! I needed none of it, but suddenly became a girlie girl (which I don't think I really am) and wanted EVERYTHING. I ended up with a pair of sunglasses because I reasoned with myself that I needed those, and didn't really need any of the other stuff. (Which is true. The actual acrylic on my current shades is peeling off. So sad.)

I take extreme care in choosing gifts for my loved ones. It is a challenge, and I love watching them open their presents and be sincerely pleased. My sister told me once that she likes to open my gift last for the build up. That made me feel really good and of course now I have to one-up myself each year. Damn it.

So I woke up in the middle of the night last night and my mind started racing about Christmas presents. I wanted all the women in my family to receive a beautiful token of Vera Bradly's! I walked through the list and then began thinking of what the men would get. Knives? Camo gloves? Dress shirts? Lap dances? *snort* Pfft. Man, I'm such a kidder today. Hee haw!

I couldn't get back to sleep. I was up for TWO AND A HALF HOURS because of this stupidity. Is anyone else this obsessed??? Please tell me if so, I need to know that I am not alone.

And J's gift is on an entirely different level. Thinking of the perfect gift for him gives me slight anxiety.

"Hi, I'm Jill. I'm a Christmas-shop-aholic."

"Hiiii Jillll."

I just read my post and realize how ridiculous it is, how all over the page it is. I shall torture you no more.

Hope everyone has an awesome weekend. And please, while you are stuffing your pretty mouths with pizza and beer, remember there is a skinny wanna-be dining on chicken and brown rice...

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Mean People Suck

I saw a comment on one of my favorite blogs today that made me feel a little disgusted. So I’m gonna vent. This may or may not open up a can of worms. But ask me if I care.

An anonymous commentator left a very lengthy, negative comment on one of my daily reads about how his blog wasn’t funny enough for him to want to visit again. He also went on about how all the comments this blogger received were fake and how they just came from people who only commented so that others would in return read their blogs in hopes to receive a large number of comments. The commenter was unnecessarily nasty, and obviously spent a good bit of time writing out this comment. A comment for a blog which he felt wasn’t good enough to visit again, but worthy of a paragraph of his worthless opinions? Make sense? I think not.


Now, is it just me, or does it this person seem way too bitter for the blog world? What loser scans blogs and is so bored that he leaves a lengthy comment about how bad he thinks it is?

Number one: If you don’t like the blog, then don’t visit. There have been many blogs that have passed my eyes for mere seconds before I’ve closed them out. I move on. I don’t choose to read the rest of the post and then leave an ugly comment about how I won’t be visiting again. It may not be my taste, but surely it’s a great read for others.

Same goes for my blog. I’m aware of my inconsistent, lackluster posts, but it gives me something to do during the day. If you don’t like it, that’s okay, move on. On a different note, I do enjoy and appreciate others who stop for a visit and a comment. It’s like I have little friendships on the bloggesphere.

Number two, the blog world is a big of world of expression. Some people create blogs to share stories and photos with family. Some people love to express themselves through writing and use their blog as a creative outlet. Some people just have some goof off time at work and need something to fill their time with. (I, being one of those people.)

These people do not claim to be the most brilliant writers (though some actually are), nor do they ask for critiques. So I’m reading this nasty comment that was left and thinking Who do you think you are?? What makes you think anyone gives a shit about your opinion? And besides that, how dumb do you look putting down others for commenting on a blog you just made fun of, when in reality you spent the time to read it yourself AND THEN TOOK MORE TIME ON THAT BLOG TO COMMENT???

Even sadder - the commenter didn’t even have the balls to make himself known. Yep, he posted as Anonymous.

Make peace with your father. Apologize to your ex whose heart you broke. Pick smoking back up. Whatever is nagging you and has made you resentful or bitter, fix it. But for crying out loud, leave innocent bloggers alone!

I’ll say it again. Loser. Get over yourself.

Now, in my blog friend’s defense, I truly find his posts funny and clever. I’m not one to comment if I don’t feel like I have much to say, but when I do comment, it is always sincere. (Or silly, or obnoxious…) I may not have many people on my blog roll, but that’s only because I have just enough spare time in my day to visit a few blogs and possibly post one myself. The blogs on my roll are ones I find interesting, clever, and definitely worth going back to every day. And this non-funny blogger is on it.

(Hey, you know who you are. Sorry if I just victimized you. I felt like beating a fool up today.)


Monday, October 15, 2007

Weekend Update

I've been having troubles posting lately, as (I'm sure) you can tell. Unfortunately, I have somehow slipped one too many times in giving my local friends my blog url. Now I have to really be careful about what I make fun of, what stories and events to talk about, yadda yadda. I've screwed myself.

No, my friends, I'm not talking about you... (its the other friends)


I'll get back on track real soon, once I devise a plan worthy of your attention. Swear. Like, totally.

Weight Watchers update: I weighed in this past Thursday to find out I'd lost only 1 pound on my second week with WW. I was a little down on myself, but then I was told hey, at least I lost something and didn't gain. Pfft. If I lose this slowly, I'll make my mark by summer. *growl*

Weekend romance: Before J moved out of town for work, he would call me at my office and ask me out on a date.

Me: Hello?
J: Um, hi, its me. I was just wondering...
Me: Yes?
J: ... if maybe, if you weren't doing anything...
Me: Yesss?
J: ....that maybe you'd like to, um, go out on a date with me. I mean, if you don't have anything else to do, that is.
Me: *grinning from ear to ear* Of course, I'd love to.

I really miss these silly work date calls. Now as you probably know, J isn't the timid guy with low self esteem. If he wanted to take me out he would just grunt "Me. You. Fooood." and I'd go put on my best outfit.


Getting off the path- we realized we hadn't been out on a date in weeks, so we made a point of choosing a WW friendly restaurant (I know, I'm even boring myself with the WW talk, geez). We settled into an Outback booth, chose our drinks, held hands over the table...all was beautiful until J opened his mouth:


I watched his eyes bounce from my face to my chest. Oops. Wrong shirt to wear to dinner. I love my man.

So yeah, nice to know you can still capture your man's attention after a year. Even if its, well, oh I guess it doesn't matter if my toes attracted him, as long as its an extension of me, right? Still, every now and then during dinner J would be talking to me, drop his eyes and mutter "boob". He really had me cracking up. Never a dull moment with that man.

Moving on....

Christmas gifts! Yes, I'm a little obsession about early Christmas shopping, and normally I'd be halfway done by now. However, I really miss being creative and decided that I was going to make at least half of my gifts this year. This is not a way of getting off cheaper, because believe me, this isn't the inexpensive route. It is, however, a more personal route. I love receiving a gift that I didn't have to ask for, or a gift that just screams "me!" when you look at it. Makes you feel loved and especially knowing the person took the time to handcraft it or to painstakingly find something that was just perfect for you.

I'm making a baby scrapbook of my new baby niece for my brother and his wifey. I've purchased one of those big mult-photo frames and am taking random photos of my nephew to place in it for my sister. I'm also going to find some older photos of him when he was a baby to put in there for tear value. *snicker* I'm evil, I know...

Also, I'm making necklace & earring sets for J's mommy, my sis-in-law, and J's brother's girlfriend. Whew. Its going to be some work, so I better get moving.

And nope, none of them read my blog. :) I'll try to post my progress for fun.

In the meantime - I need help!!! Does anyone have good gift ideas for men?

Hope all had a good weekend!!

Monday, October 08, 2007

Random Mondays Musings

I'm alone in the office and thought I'd take a moment to muse randomly...

Weekend: Lazy. I had J all to myself on Saturday, so we ran errands and ended up spending the rest of the day laying around, doing laundry, and watched the LSU game. I've been a bit down lately, as being apart from your soulmate all week for the last 7 months will do ya, so having a full day of just me and him really put me in good spirits.

J boiled some of his signature spicy shrimp and corn, and I was very fufilled - who knew "dieting" could be so yummy? WW would scold me if they saw me labeling their plan a "diet", as it is considered a healthy lifestyle, not a diet, which is a dirty word to them.

Speaking of Weight Watchers...

Weight loss: 3 lbs lost as of this past Thursday's weigh-in. I seem to be on track with what I had expected. There's nothing worse than losing weight fast, cause everyone knows how easy it is to gain it back. After 10 days of WW my favorite Victoria's Secret jeans fit perfectly again, which I am thrilled to note.

WW has a points system, in which I'm allotted so many points of food a day, depending on my age, gender, weight, height and activity level. Well, on top of that I also have a weekly points allowance of 35 to use as I want during the week. (Got that?) I can spread them out, not use them at all, or save them for a special night out. Which I did, below. I like that they call it allowance; usually I would call that falling off the wagon.

Girlie time: My friend Lola came in town Friday night. She comes in only a few times a year and she comes baring little gifts - it's like Christmas three times a year. We spent the good part of an hour trying on our dress up clothes (and for who?? Each other??) and ironing our hair, only to walk outside in the sufficating humidity and rain. *sigh*

We ended up at Carrabba's where I had a raspberry martini and Lola had a pomegranate one. Mmm. It gets better. Then I had (a litte bit of) pasgetti & meatballs and she had lasagne, and we walked next door to BoneFish Grill for pear martinis.

I had saved my leftovers from Carrabba's for J, mainly because I didn't have but a few bites of spaghetti and hated to waste all that starchy goodness. Well, J left without the leftovers and Whooops! I fell off the wagon again last night. Okay, so I'm being hard on myself as it was just one meatball. But seriously, one meatball could turn into the whole platter of pasta for me, so I scowled at myself, grabbed the offensive plastic container heaping with leftovers and chunked it in the trash.

Screw you!! I yelled at the closed trash can. You are not ruining my chance at obtaining protruding hip bones!!

Only kidding.

Favorite moment of the weekend: When J attacked me in my car before heading home.

J and I head into our home town (about 30 minutes north of where I live now) to visit our parents and a few friends on Sunday. We follow each other into town but do our visits separately. We both leave that evening to head to our respective homes: mine just 3o minutes into the city, J's a couple hours away. We meet in a parking lot on the way to the interstate for "one more kiss good-bye".

In the early days of his trekk back to the jobsite I would be anxious at this goodbye. Please stay, can't you just stay? I'd want to say to him, but now I'm better at our goodbyes. I can't say I'll ever get used to it though.

So this time I stayed seated in my car but opened my door as he pulled up. I'm leaning over to grab and show him the early Christmas presents I bought for his folks when suddenly I'm attacked by teenage boy groping and kissing and he's falling into the car with me making silly noises. Squeals escape as he lets me up for air. I love it cuz I feel like I'm making out with him maybe in my first car and I'm in highschool again. In my cheerleading uniform. With braces on my teeth. Wearing Bonne Belle lipgloss and pom poms on my seat.

We went to high school together, but never had a make out session like that. He was too scared. *wink wink* That's a subject for another post...

So I warned ya - I said I'd be musing randomly. ;) Hope everyone had a great weekend!

Friday, October 05, 2007

How to Think Happy

The Entire Article Here

I found this article on MSN, and being the self-helper that I am, was immediately intrigued. Then disappointed. Sarcasm crept up and reared its ugly head, as I had hoped to learn something new. Apparently I already think happy.

Proof I already follow these rules show below each item in color.

Here are four habits that longevity experts say are at the heart of a sunny disposition—and that you can adopt, too.

People That Think Happy

Perhaps your neighborhood gossip is on to something: All that chitchat keeps her plugged into a thriving social network—and people who socialize at least once a week are more likely to live longer, keep their brains sharp, and prevent heart attacks. Make the effort to connect with the friends you already have. Call now, and before you hang up, schedule a lunch date—personal contact is even better.

OR call a friend that you’ve recently kicked out of your life and tell them why, if they don’t already know. This will instantly make you happy, as validating oneself for their actions (for example, not returning phone calls because your ex-friend tried to control you or steal your boyfriend) usually does. After blaring out your friend on your call, immediately hang up without allowing them to speak. This will also make you happy because you got the last word in.

On an entirely different note, you could call yourself when you are feeling down and leave a voice message about how hot you are and how you can’t wait to see you, all in a very deep, breathy voice of the opposite sex. Surely this will boost your self esteem, make you happy, and make you even happier that you paid a few dollars extra a month to have voice mail hooked up after all.

Buoy your spirits by recording happy events on paper, your computer, or a PDA. People who write about all the things they are thankful for are optimistic about the upcoming week and more satisfied overall with their lives, according to a University of California, Davis, study. They also feel physically stronger.
"It's hard to be bitter and mad when you're feeling grateful," says Sonja Lyubomirsky, PhD, author of the upcoming book, "The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want."

I’m a big advocate of screaming at people that cut me off while driving in my car. Now, think about how good that feels, how it releases a little tension. Now imagine this: you get out of your car at the next stop, knock on the window and actually thank the person who cut you off for almost making you plow into the back of their car. Including phrases like “You stupid idiot” heightens the euphoria you will feel by expressing your gratitude.

Do you perform five acts of kindness in any given day? That's the number of good deeds that boosts your sense of well-being and happiness, according to research by Lyubomirsky. Your karmic acts can be minor and unplanned - giving up your seat on the bus; buying an extra latte to give to a coworker. You'll find that the payback greatly exceeds the effort.

Oh, this is one of my favorites, as I already aim for five acts of kindness daily. Some of the things I’ve done recently is buying an extra bar of soap at the dollar store to give to the homeless guy at the corner of the interstate by my house, and hiding the bagels from my over weight boss at work. Both are random and kind, as I’m helping the bums get clean and therefore giving them a better appearance for a possible job interview, and well, my boss is just intent on clogging his arteries and I’m simply saving him from himself.

These acts must be done randomly. I’ve also woken my boyfriend up at 3 am for a toe bath, and left a casserole on my neighbor’s doorstep out of the blue. Unfortunately, they were out of town that weekend and a pack of wild dogs tore into the casserole, leaving food splattered everywhere. Not my fault. I was only trying to be randomly kind.

Yes, you can rewrite history—and feel better about yourself in the bargain. Set aside a little time each week to write about or record—or even just mentally revisit—an important event in your past. Reflecting on the experience can reshape your perception of it, as well as your expectations for the future, says Robert N. Butler, MD, president of the International Longevity Center-USA in New York City. When creating this "life review," you get to list all your accomplishments—an instant self-esteem booster. Organize your historical review by epochs: your postcollege years, early marriage, career, motherhood. Subdivide each section into triumphs, missteps, and lessons for the future.

Man, I can’t express to you how important this is to stay happy. The times I felt the best about myself were in my college days. Once a month, I reenact some of my favorite memories: I put on my sleaziest outfit, down several shots and dance on my dining room table with my balcony door open. Not only do I relive my bar-hopping days when I was thin and agile, but I give my neighbors a free show. So technically, not only am I reappraising, I am also giving a monthly random act of kindess.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Thursday Thirteen

I'm coasting these days. Coasting on my couch in the afternoons, coasting at my desk at work, coasting on the weekends. I am simply out of inspiration these days for posts. For that, I apologize. But! I am viewing all my friends blogs on a daily basis, and am trying to comment when I feel a semi-clever thought escape my brain.

Thirteen Things I Am Seriously Over

1. Peek a boo thongs on 13 year old girls. Who buys the thongs for these children anyway? Do they have mothers?? Or worse – are the mothers purchasing these thongs for their 13 year old girls????

2. Old men that wear button up shirts and leave two buttons undone to expose obnoxious chest hair and a gold chain. I thought they were extinct, but apparently I was mistaken.

3. Valley girl talk. If I never hear another 21 year old say “And like, he totally called me, like, the next day! Oh my gawh!” I’d be fine. Like, totally fine.

4. People bringing their ENTIRE family with them to Walmart. Is it really necessary to bring your husband, your 8 kids, your uncle and your uncle’s girlfriend shopping with you?

5. The construction going on in front of my apartment complex. There’s really no reason to wash my car knowing that just the turn out of my apartment will leave a blanket of dirt on my car thick enough to keep an Eskimo from freezing. I don’t know. Just sounded good at the time. (By the way, as I’m typing in Word, auto grammar automatically capitalized the word Eskimo. I don’t know why but I think that’s funny.)

6. Chocolate martinis. I’m sure a few of you will disagree with me on this one, but I find nothing more disgusting than the idea (and taste) of a dessert item such as chocolate mixed with the harsh bite of vodka or gin. Bleh.

7. Total strangers that ask how you are doing over the phone. Just get to the point. If you’re about to try and sell me something, the words “Hi ma’am. How are you doing today?” instantly warn me that you are a solicitor and won’t make me want to purchase whatever you are selling any more than if you didn’t ask and just went into your spill.

8. Striped hair. Subtle highlights on a woman’s hair I understand but please tell me what is all this striped hair about? Black hair with wide blond stripes, blond hair with red stripes – do these people think this looks natural or are they just going for the edgy look? (I apologize if one of my visitors has striped hair. Wait. No I don’t.)

9. Reality tv. The last reality tv show I watched was Rock of Love with Bret Michaels. Pure trash entertainment. I am upset that I was sucked into this reality zone and refuse to be sucked in again. I think its sad that producers are so lazy now that they can’t even write a script to get the viewers that reality shows pull in these days. I can imagine the tv crew sitting together: “Eh, let’s call a dried up musician that can’t refuse our offer, pick up a couple bimbos from Hooters and random strip clubs and make it a spin off of the bachelor.”

10. GAP, American Eagle and Aeropostle. I can occasionally find the rare item of interest in one of these stores, but if I do find myself wandering in one of these stores, I forget which one I’m in, because they all freaking look alike. They all store the same bland colored clothes. Every high school kid walking through the mall looks like the next because they all shop at one of these stores. Why not just wear uniforms or potato sacks? Just as interesting.

11. Women who don’t dress their age. I’m so tired of seeing 40 year old women wearing daisy duke shorts and halter tops. Your wonder years are over. Stop sneaking into your 18 year old daughter’s closet. I’m not saying you don’t have the right to dress sexy, I’m just saying dress appropriately sexy.

12. Men who let football season get to them. I simply cannot understand why men who are emotionally constipated, can turn around and let a lost game of football with their favorite team bring them down and put them in a bad mood. Why do you let a football game, that you don’t even see in person but on tv upset you, and yet you cannot spare a feeling or emotion when the relationship with the woman you love is going down the drain. Seriously, what’s that about anyway? (Note: I am not saying all men are emotionally constipated. I do know a small few that are in touch with their emotions.;p )

13. Fiber One granola bars. I’m not going into detail, I’m just never eating them again.

By the way, my second weigh in is this evening. I’ll find out if I have lost any poundage. Wish me luck!

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