Thursday, June 28, 2007

Finally, some inspiration

Oh... Please go look at this website. Jeshderox's Photography

Beautiful, inspiring.

Makes me want to run out of this office and grab my camera...

(Thanks for sharing, Kelly. This has been the highlight of my day.)

Ghost of Babers?

I think I actually wrote a poem last night. Well, maybe not quite a poem. More like just thoughts that kept circling in my brain that I had to get out before it became a song or even something more annoying… like a chant. That hasn’t happened in a while. I used to create poetry when I was younger, but decided after high school that it was no longer cool. (Shut up.)

It all started when I was brushing my teeth and caught a glimpse in the mirror of what I thought was a lump under the covers of my bed. Like someone was in there, the way it looks when Babers is in there, waiting for me to finish my nightly routine. Kind of reminds me of how it feels when you lose a pet. You find yourself looking down before rounding corners or hopping off of beds so as not to step on them. As if they’re still there. Not to compare Jason with a dog, it’s just… similar, in a way.

Sometimes to my own advantage, I like to pretend he’s still there during the week. For instance, when I’ve been a little lazy on picking up after myself, I like to shake my head while picking up the multiple cups I’ve left around the house. “You may have a nice ass and all, but that doesn’t mean you can get away with leaving your cups every where.”

Or, when it’s really cold in the mornings because I’ve set the temp too low, I like to jump out of bed cursing “just because you are hot natured doesn’t mean I have to suffer. Brrr!”

I’m pathetic.

Maybe I’ll post this “poem” later. If I get brave, that is.

P.S. - How cool is that bed?

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

A Beach Wedding!

No, not for me!!! An old, loyal friend of mine called this past weekend to announce that the wedding she planned for January of 2008 is now being pushed up to September 2007. “I’m not pregnant,” she explained, “it’s just that we have our vacation planned for September, and we’d like nothing more than to be married on the beach.” Priceless.

Good things about this change:

1. I am no longer a bridesmaid. Due to the last minute change – and expense of travel - most of the wedding party won’t be able to make it. Now it’s just the best man and matron of honor.

2. Jason and I are turning this into our vacation as well. Why not?

3. I get to spend some time with my friend in a beautiful place free of every day stress and responsibility.

4. Ditto on the above except replace “my friend” with “my boyfriend”.

Notice how I just turned my good friend’s wedding into something good for me? Sounds terrible, I know, but if you’ve been a bridesmaid for years and have accumulated several odd colored dresses that you will never wear again you would feel the same way. However, I’ve never in my life felt the saying “always a bridesmaid, never the bride” related to me, but I do feel a little envious that she is getting married soon and on the beach. I’ve never really wanted to be married before but I guess now that I’ve found “the one” I just want forever to start now.

Anyway, 10 more weeks and I’ll be watching my friend get married on some beautiful beach while holding my sweetie’s hand. I can’t wait!

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Three Words

Mu wah ah ah! Another meme stolen from Miss Blogarita! (I have SO much work to do so if I get fired it's her fault...) *wink wink*

1. Where is your cell phone? Hidden in purse
2. Boyfriend/girlfriend?currently loving babers
3. Hair? newly short, easy
4. Your mother? intelligent, trying, strong
5. Your father? quiet, pensive, rock
6. Your favorite item(s)? sudoku, crockpot, scrapbook
7. Your dream last night? no dream thankfully
8. Your favorite drink? Sweet iced tea
9. Your dream guy/girl? my funny babertine
10. The room you are in? my boring office
11. Your fear? heights, being attacked
12. What do you want to be in 10 years? happy, stable, hot (hahaha)
13. Who did you hang out with last night? Suzy and Doozy
14. What are you not? Babers says I'm not high maintenance and my momma says I'm not a dummy... oh wait that was more than three words.
15. Are you in love? yes very much
16. One of your wish list items? my own home!
17. What time is it? who really cares
18. The last thing you did? talked to Amy
19. What are you wearing? slacks, heels, mascara (and that's it! My boss LOVES me)
20. Your favorite book? probably White Oleander
21. The last thing you ate? chicken salad, pickle
22. Your life? calm, fufilling, perfect
23. Your mood? happy but restless
24. Your friends? fun, supportive, non-psycho (smirk)
25. What are you thinking about right now? my growling tummy
26. Your car? sporty white accord
27. What are you doing at this moment? passing the time
28. Your summer? so much planned!
29. Your relationship status? with my soulmate
30. What is on your TV screen? no tv screen
31. When is the last time you laughed? 5 minutes ago
32. Last time you cried? yesterday at song
33. School? college grad, craziness
34. Why did this end so abruptly?what? huh? who?

The Ups and Downs

I feel like I’m on a freaking rollercoaster right now. The weekends bring J, who supplies tons of ridiculous behavior, tons of fun and laughter…just never a dull moment. He brings out the crazy in me – wait - I should probably say J encourages the crazy in me, and well, when he leaves I have no one who can match this as well as he, so I basically stare at the walls until the weekend again.

I exaggerate. Still, between doing stuff with friends during the week, creating art, walking, and new on the list – playing my fantasticable Sudoku game that Jason bought me – I’m just sitting there wishing he was with me. Of course I don’t want to bore my friends with my whining and wishing, so I usually keep it inside. (Or put it on the blog.) Of course, this build up eventually comes out in a tantrum directed at Jason in hidden form. *sigh* The man doesn’t verbalize his brain, so I often wonder if he feels the way I do. Or does he not think about it at all? *gasp* OR is he so wrapped up playing with his new puppy that he doesn’t think about me at all??

Grr. Stoopid puppy.

I’m kidding! I seriously love that little slut. Except when she makes me itch and gets between Jason and I on the couch.

I digress. But then, I’m not really going anywhere with this am I? Call it a Dear Diary entry if you will. I just… feel like I’m ever so grateful to have this perfect-for-me human being in my life to love and love me back, but the distance and lack of togetherness is so huge for me that I often obsess about that instead of how great our love is. (Did you just throw up in your mouth a little?) And I also feel like I've waited so long for this - why is he being taken away now? Why not a job here?? If I had something to throw right now I would. (Eyeballing phone and stapler on side of desk.)

I know, I know, he's apart from me too. He's experiencing the distance too. Its not just about me. But, it really hurts when you're the one being left.

That’s all…. for now.

Monday, June 18, 2007

The Sleeping Memes

I saw this while visiting Blogarita and thought it was cute, so of course I had to "borrow" it!

6 Weird things I do while getting ready to sleep or while sleeping:

1. I get irritated and cannot fall sleep if there is any sound in the room other than the fan whirling or the air conditioner going. For example, a dog scratching in the room or people outside talking will keep me up. However, I can fall asleep sooo easily (unintentionally) while watching a blaring televison.

2. My only sleeping position is on my tummy with one arm under my pillow. The only time this varies is if I decide I want to jack one of my legs up on the side of me. I cannot fall asleep any other way.

3. Relative to #2 – When Jason’s home on the weekends, I love love love cuddling with him right before falling asleep, but I can’t actually sleep that way. So we roll over to sleep the way we must, but our legs or feet have to be touching or tangled up together in order for me to crash.

4. Not really following the title, but: On Thanksgiving day, all the women make fun of or fuss about all the men in the house falling asleep right after stuffing themselves with turkey and dressing. I secretly wish I could kick back and fall asleep with them, but don’t want to be talked about by the rest of the women.

5. I prefer to and will probably always sleep in shorties and a t shirt. Non of this pretty lingerie in bed, or baby dolls or a la nakedness – I’ve tried. Really, I have. Just can’t seem to kick the comfort habit. (So sorry Babers…)

6. Before getting into bed I always check behind my shower curtain, in my bedroom closets and under my bed for intruders. This started the first day I moved out on my own and I imagine will continue until I’m living with someone who can protect me.

Looking at my 6 items, none of them are really weird except for maybe #6.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Life's a Beach!

If there is anything obvious that Jason has changed about me, it would definitely be my spontaneity. Before him, I really didn’t have any. But, I know how much he loves being spontaneous and so this past weekend for his birthday, I threw a comment in the air about going to the beach for his birthday. I hesitated before saying it, being the planner that I am, but once I saw his excitement I was in for it.

Together we probably spent about 4 hours on the phone and internet trying to find a place to stay in the Orange Beach/Gulf Shores area. If it wasn’t sold out, it was priced at a ridiculous rate. We ended up broken hearted believing that our little last minute plan had been squashed. We woke up Saturday morning still anxious to get away, so we jumped out of bed to start packing – destination: Biloxi beach!

Now, I’ve seen the pictures and heard the stories from people that have visited Biloxi. I’ve heard about how much has changed and how the rebuilding process has been so slow. We knew it wouldn’t be the same as trips to Biloxi before, but we still wanted to play together at the beach and I guess we were in denial about what to expect.

The beach line was completely vacant. Trying to find a place to eat, or even something as simple as a bag of ice was really trying. We’d see a restaurant sign in the distance and get excited, only to be knocked down as we got closer and saw it was only a sign, that the restaurant itself had been destroyed.

Despite the disappointment and shock, we still had an awesome time. As I said to my mother when she warned me before we left that there was nothing to do: Jason and I are not just a couple, we’re best friends – we’d have fun in a room with no windows. Just being together, making drinks and being silly, filling the Jacuzzi tub with overflowing shampoo suds and talking… serious fun. Not having any distractions really filled this void for me with him being gone during the week. And I think this weekend gave me a new appreciation for him: the man is an optimist. Almost to the point of annoyance. Okay, so not really – the only annoying thing was realizing that I’m not the optimist. (And I’d so like to be one!!) It was pouring down rain with no chance of hitting the beach the first day we were there, and I never heard him complain or give up on the trip.

I just have to complain about one thing – sunburn!! I have serious side boob burn (that one’s for you Babers!)

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