Monday, March 31, 2008

Good Night Mom and Dad

Little bodies tucked in bed. Little brother in one room, closest to the den where his mother and father sit watching tv. Two older sisters lay across from each other in another room further down the hall in matching twin beds.

Three bugs all snug in a rug.

"COME KISS US MOM AND DAD!!!" We shout down the hall from our beds in unison, giggling at the echo in our room. Our nightly ritual.

"YEAH, COME KISS USSSS!!" Mimics little brother in his sweet little voice.

We hear the familiar creak and click of our father's recliner as he puts it into sitting position and rises out of it. Then the shuffling of our parents coming down the hall to kiss little brother first, then us. As they get closer we stifle our squeals with covers pulled up to our noses, peering out at them.

"Good night Mom and Dad." Kisses, hugs and tucks, kisses, hugs and tucks.

I haven't thought of that in a long while. I wish I could keep all my favorite memories in a box to visit as often as I wish instead of relying on random things to trigger certain ones.

I miss those days.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Creative Mommies

Look at what my sweet Mama made for me today. Isn't it the prettiest? She runs a PSP club where members make each other tags and connect with each other creatively. So, she's always making these extravagant, gorgeous tags for everyone. And now... its MY TURN. Jealous? You should be. ;)

Tookie is somewhat new to the blog world and you may remember her introduction on my blog a few months ago. Go pay my Mama a visit. Really, I insist. (Or I'll get Guido after ya.)

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

These Dreams, Not So Sweet

You've probably read about my dreams before on here and know I tend to be haunted by not-so-nice dreams pretty regularly. Some could be considered nightmares, but most just leave me with a chest full of anxiety. Dreams of my parents getting hurt or lost, my boyfriend betraying me in the worst possible way. My sweet J even got me a dreams interpretation book it had become such a frequent thing.

The Baber betrayal dreams have stopped, but now a new one takes it place.

A couple of months ago my sister ran into an ex boyfriend of mine. From what I was told, they had about a minute of small talk before he turned the subject on me. How was I doing? Was I still living at the apartment? Was I still single? Happy?

This ex was a hard one to get out of my life. I'm not even sure if I could technically call him a ex, we were so on and off. He was a mysterious one and struggled with family issues that kept him away and in termoil for days at a time. We had common interests and shared a passion for music. But, he could bring me down in an instant with his disappearing ways. I remember when Miranda Lambert's song came out Bring Me Down, I felt she sang it just for me.

One day I had enough of his disappearing acts and said good bye. He had escorted me to a company Christmas party and as he went to step into my apartment at the end of the evening, I thanked him for a good time and told him I wouldn't be seeing him again. I think the look of defeat on his face haunted me for months.

I hadn't thought of him in ages. When my sister told me she ran into him, I had to think hard to remember his last name or even his face. Still, I have these dreams and they are driving me CRAZY. I feel nothing for what once was so why am I having these awful dreams?

In these dreams, I am trying to walk beside J and my ex walks up and takes my arm to guide me away. J's stride continues but at a faster pace, as if he's walking away from me. He looks back at me with a blank expression while my ex latches onto me and pulls me in his direction. I had another one where I was walking in this huge house from room to room to room calling J's name. I'd open a door and the ex would be in the room. And in the next, and in the next. He turned up a radio so that J couldn't hear me calling his name.

I feel such anxiety when I wake from these dreams.

I am in a beautiful, loving relationship with the man of my dreams and yet I am having dreams about this other man? Its disturbing to say the least.

I haven't told J yet, though he'll know soon enough when he reads this. *sigh* (Sorry babe.) I almost didn't write about this but I thought "What can I write about anymore?" This blog has always been a journal for me and upon inviting my loved ones to read, I've been more... shielded? Is that the right word? They shouldn't take that statement the wrong way, I want them to read. But, I also want to write about what's bothering me and right now, THIS is what's bothering me.

So there.

Hopefully J won't beat me tonight for writing about it. Just kidding. He's not even in town tonight. *snort*

So my question is, WHY? Most likely it was just because my sister ran into him. My dream book conveniently doesn't speak about exes so I'm going to need your psychoanalysis. I know I can count on one person for sure to give me one. *cough* Papa *cough*

I await your explanations. Thanks in advance. ;)

Monday, March 24, 2008


I'm trying to be nice. Really, I am.

Sometimes I just want to look at people and ask them what planet they were born on.

First, our office's CPA. She's a CPA, so she should be bright, yes? This morning's conversation:

*as she walks in the door*
Me: Hey.
Her: *stops abruptly* What?
Me: *stares at her* What do you mean What? I said Hey.
Her: Oh. *laugh* Why were you smiling?

I mean really. I smile ALL THE TIME. Do I need a reason to throw a smile in with my greeting to you? "I was smiling because just before you came in a read a really funny joke and it made me laugh." ??? I WAS JUST BEING NICE.

And then she comes into my office and just sits there. Just sits and watches me print out emails and respond to a few. Watches me write a personal email and answer the phone. My skin crawls. Decides she wants to hold a conversation after I've just dialed someone's number and the line is ringing. I go to the restroom thinking she'll be gone when I get out, but no such luck. I know she has stuff to do, why must she just sit there and watch me? Its AWKWARD.

Anyways, this may sound picky but it happens all the time. It gets old.

Another one of my favorites: My other co-worker, who is sort of second-in-line from my boss has just been sent an application to be on my Sh*t List. Recently she's begun to sneak up behind me in the front office while I'm typing up an email and will hover behind me, peeking at my screen. I don't know if she's trying to be nosey or see if I'm maybe typing up a personal email, but I can always hear her. I don't know who she's kidding. I like to wait until she's right up behind me and swing around real fast. "You need something?" I'll say. I can see her twitch a little and look down from the screen to whatever is in her hand and say "Oh, no. Let me give you this."

*growl* What is she trying to catch me doing, I wonder?

OR - this is a good one - if co-worker above has to catch the line while the boss is out of the office and I'm on another line, she'll write the message down, hang up, and walk down the hall PAST MY BOSS'S OFFICE to hand the note to me, so I can then get up, WALK BACK DOWN THE HALL to place the message on my boss's desk. His office is between ours, yet she has to put the message in mine. Obviously, this is another issue of control and power. "Here Ms. Office Manager/Assistant/Receptionist/Jack of All Trades, YOU are below me and therefore have to deliver all communications to the boss yourself."

Ugh. I'm sorry my sweet readers but this will not be the last time I rant about this. I give myself a pep talk every morning before work. "Its just a job! You can do it! Don't quit yet. Wait until you move into Central with J." Its getting hard though. I really want to just do my job without all the mind games.

Is that too much to ask??

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Wednesday Mind Hump

Today is Act Happy Day. Name some things that make you happy . . .

A song: Keep On Loving You by REO Speedwagon - I like to sing this song to J in a ridiculously annoying baby voice. East to West by Casting Crowns. Its a very hopeful, uplifting song.

A book: The Devil Wears Prada by Lauren Weisberger - based on an aspiring writer trying to get her break by working for the Devil herself at a well-known fashion magazine. This girl is drug through the dirt just trying to make a year for a referral from this highly respected woman.

This book is a reminder of a path I chose. I used to dream of making it big in New York city as a graphic designer once I graduated from LSU. I graduated and stayed here and I wouldn't have it any other way. I sometimes wonder if Someone was looking out for me and believe where I am has a lot to do with who I've become and knowing THAT makes me HAPPY.

A memory: So many to choose from. The chart topper would be the night I saw J out, the night that started our fate as a couple. Seeing him see me through the window of that bar that neither of us really wanted to go to, my heart skipping a beat when I saw that big familiar smile I'd always known. Both of us trying to act cool by not running up to each other right away once I'd gotten into the bar. The easy flow of our conversation, the giddy feeling in my tummy I got while looking at someone I had known for so long and yet knowing this meeting was different.

A food: Frozen yogurt. Sure, I love my mexican food but it sometimes comes with a hangover or guilt trip. I seriously get excited when I'm in the area of my favorite frozen yogurt place, Counter Culture. My favorite is the cheesecake flavor. The server hands you a little nutrition card with a bunch of zeros on it and damn it if that feels good and makes me hum a little while eating it!!

A person: Babers makes me happy. His best quality is his awesome sense of humor and apparently making me laugh is his main goal in life. :) My nephew and niece are the ever constant source of my ear to ear smiles and giggle fests. They are adorable. Toot is very bright and I just can't wait to hear what will come out of his mouth next. Kay Kay is growing into her bitty personality each day and makes me fill up so much inside it comes shooting out my eyes sometimes. My family makes me happy. We all get along well and love each other so much and for the most part accept each other for who we are.

A place: My bedroom on Sunday mornings. Orange Beach, AL on vacation with J, zombie-fied in front of the waves.

Thanks for humping! I hope I've made you happy today.

Wanna play? Click here for Blogdrive Insanity

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

I Can't Believe It

Are you tired of hearing me whine about J being away during the week? Tired of me being depressed because life just isn't complete when you have to love long distance?

Well people, I'll have to find something new to aggravate you about. Babers is coming home!!!

J got an official offer from the company he works for now for a position here in his home town with a promotion! I am so proud of him and so freaking excited for ME at the same time! Hehehe. J heard word of this move and told me about it, but even in my excitement I was hesitant. I didn't want to get my hopes up and be so let down when it didn't happen. And then he got the official offer. Though we aren't for sure, he could be home as early as the end of April.

A few things I'll miss:

Road trips to see him. I've only been to his current place of residence a handful of times but I really enjoy the drive there. Listening to my music with the windows down and sunroof back. The anticipation of seeing him. No city lights, just amazing black night sky with stars as far as you can see. Animals everywhere, climbing all over you. Fires shared between just the two of us.

Scrreeeccch. Babe? Can we do smores in the fireplace? Hmm...

Morning text messages. He wakes me up every morning with his sweetness. Yes, the man is even perfect in text messaging. Its ridiculous people. I'll miss the "Good morning beautiful" and the "Dream about me?" He's probably blushing right now.

Friday night hugs. Fresh in the apartment from his road trip, we become leeches. Latched to each other, kissie face and all that nonsense.

What I'm really looking forward to:

Not having to cram laundry, errands and plans with friends and family together with our quality time. Now we'll have more time for our quality time. *sigh* Movie nights during the week. Watching the Office beside him instead of miles away. YES! Cuddles on the couch. Evening walks with the Mini Monster. Cooking normal dinners for two instead of bachelorette style cuisine. Just being able to see him every day. Daily kisses.

Are you sick of hearing about it? Told you I would find something new to aggravate you about. ;)

Just had to share my excitement. On another topic, I've been a busy bee with my jewelry sales and creating so blogging has unfortunately taken the back burner. I peeked for a second at my bloglines today to see the posts I've missed and I hurried up and X'd it out. There are so many to catch up! You guys are maniacs!!

Hope everyone is having a good week. I'll be around this evening to visit. I've missed you!!

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

I'm a Cool Cat!

Sweet Kitty gave me this precious award:

She gave me this award stating: I'm going to pass it [this award] on to some bloggers who are obviously very fond of animals since they have blogged beautifully (sometimes very movingly, and often hilariously) about their animals.

Aww! I, in turn, want to pass this award on to other animal lover bloggers. RoxRocks, Christie, Ari, Stacie, Kelly and Hammer.

I'm not sure who else has much adored pets, but if you do let me know in the comments section (a sort of pet introduction) and take that award and plop it on your sidebar!!

And since it just fits, I leave you with some Mini trivia & photos. If you can answer at least two of the trivia, I'll make a tag for you! (Disclaimer: tag will not be of professional quality, but will be made with as much creativity as I can muster and lots of wuv!)

How did Mini come about in our life? (Babers & my life, not yours silly goose.)

Can you name two of Mini's nicknames?

Where does Mini currently sleep on the weekends?

What kind of candy did Mini once steal in the middle of the night?

I leave obnoxious comments

I'm sorry, really I am. Some days I am just so out of things to say and then BAM - you catch me on a good day and I'm rambling all over your comment box. I just did this to a few people and wonder: Do you find this obnoxious? Should I be embarrassed? When people do that to mine, I LOVE it, but I'm weird. Just curious.

And how do you feel about comment moderation? I have been getting these massive novels about politics or religion from crazy doofs and it takes up 17 pages (kinda like my comments) worth of space in my comment box. I'm over it. I already have the word verification, but obviously that ain't keeping the crazies out.

What do you think?

If you missed it, go look at my cute puppy on the post below.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Adorable Pups and Boy Smell

I got home from working out tonight and took a look at my blog. What a lousy post. My moods are so up and down, come in and leave with such quick, full force that one day I'm restless and unmotivated, and the next I'm casting molds of the sculpture David.


I dunno, it just sounded good. Anyway, I don't much like hearing myself whine and wallow in my dips, but it seems once I get it out of my mouth I'm okay again. So, thanks for reading.

Went to see the Babers this weekend and had a good time as usual. We did a little exploring of the land on the 4 wheeler with Mini in tow. Friday J surprised me with a little goodie bag: SF Berry Lifesavers, Into the Wild DVD and some boy soap. So we watched my new movie Friday night after a failed attempt at a fire in the freezing ass cold. A word to the wise peeps: make your fire before it gets cold.

The movie was long but I really enjoyed it. This movie didn't come out in the theaters where I live so I've been waiting for it to come out on DVD. I was so excited when J surprised me with it. If you don't like longish movies with light dialog, don't rent it. If you like beautiful imagery and story lines that tug at your heart and press you to the verge of tears, do.

You wanna know about the boy soap, huh? J lives in a camper trailer during the week for his job, so on Friday nights he goes straight to the back for a shower with more water pressure. When he gets out he smells so freaking good I wanna just shove my face in his armpit. His soap is d i v i n e. Anyway, my family always used Lever soap, so I did too. But this soap... it makes me want to cheat on my usual soap. So, being the good person he is, he sent me home with some so I can smell like him too. :)

Saturday night after some delicious red fish by Chef Babers, vino and way too many smores, I stole away from our company with Mini into the camper. I just wanted to lay my fat head down for just a second. Just... one... second. *snore* My eyes pop open when J walks in the trailer and suddenly I feel this heavy weight on my head. Can it be a hangover that quick? No, I only had a couple glasses. I realize then that the Mini Monster has taken residence upon my head for a little snooze. There is space on the couch, floor, recliner and her puppy bed, but she decides she wants to sleep on Mama's head. So we just had to capture the moment. (My new camera battery died upon my arrival this weekend, so this photo is kinda grainy because it was shot with my phone.)

What kind of crazy thing does your pet do that you just adore?

Case of the Mondays

I'm going through one of my things right now. I call them "things" because I don't know how else to tag them. I'm on the dip of the rollercoaster. Not inspired to do anything creative, to write or make jewelry or even empty my dishwasher. I wish I knew how to get out of this or how to stop it before it happens.

I'm only writing because I know how the bloggy world is - you get sick or slack off and everyone goes away. But I feel its like friendships, something you have to nuture. And right now I'm in a pooper of a mood so I'll be lurking around visiting everyone's new posts but will most likely not feel clever enough for a comment. *sorries*

Hope not everyone is having a case of the Mondays. ;p

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Slacker back on track?

Probably not for long.

First I have to show off my lovely friendship award, presented to me by dear Claudia.

Claudia was already given this award, but if I had received it first, I would definitely pass it on to her. She always has a positive uplifting word to say and I always look forward to her next post, comment or email. Thank you C! This may be my most precious award yet.

My turn! I must pass these on to those bloggers I just click with, even though we've never met. If we lived in the same town, I know we'd be the best of friends:


Yes, just two for now. I adore all of my billions of readers (ha ha) but I'm being sentimental and girlie at the moment.

And now for a neat meme-type thing that Claudia tagged me with. She's just full of goodies isn't she?

You are about to send a virtual Message In a Bottle across the Blog Ocean. Leave a message in the sand or on the bottle. Write anything you wish. Be a pirate or a poet. Serious or silly. Anonymous or not.

What message would you like to send out to the universe?

Message In A Bottle Meme:

1. Compose a message to place in your virtual bottle
2. Right click and Save the graphic above
3. Use a graphics program of your choice to place the message on the picture
4. Post the meme and these rules on your blog
5. Tag a minimum of five people - or your entire blogroll - to do the same. Notify them of the tag.
I am tagging anyone who would like to partake in this!

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Mac & Cheese?

Hi everyone! I've been a little swamped lately and haven't had time for a real posting, but wanted to share this recipe. Good Morning America had a Mac & Cheese contest last week which you may have seen. They went through thousands of mac & cheese recipes to find the best one and I've posted their choice below.

I've left the recipe on my desktop so that as soon as I'm done with WW I can make this! Yummers!!! Enjoy!

Best Mac 'n' Cheese Ever from Laura Macek Ingredients:

1 head of garlic, roasted
1 teaspoon olive oil
1 pound Cavatappi pasta
½ pound sliced Applewood smoked bacon
1 ½ cups fresh white bread crumbs (5 slices, crusts removed)
½ cup grated Parmigiano Reggiano cheese
8 tablespoons butter
¼ cup minced shallots
½ cup flour
1 quart whole milk
6 ounces Gruyere cheese, grated
8 ounces extra-sharp Cheddar cheese, grated
½ teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg


Preheat oven to 350°.

To roast garlic: Slice ½ inch off the top of the entire head of garlic. Drizzle with olive oil and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Wrap garlic head tightly in a square of heavy foil and roast until tender — about 45 minutes. Remove garlic pulp by squeezing garlic head. Smash cloves with a fork to form a paste.

Cook pasta according to package directions.

Cook bacon completely. Drain on paper towels. Reserve 1 tablespoon of bacon fat. Crumble bacon when cool.

Sign Up for the GMA Recipe Recap E-Mail! To make topping: Combine breadcrumbs, crumbled bacon, Parmigiano Reggiano cheese, and 2 tablespoons of melted butter. Set aside.

Preheat oven to 375°.

Sauté shallots over low heat in reserved bacon fat for one minute. Add remaining 6 tablespoons of butter and continue to sauté shallots in butter and bacon fat until translucent.

Add flour and continue to cook for 1-2 minutes. Increase heat to medium. Stirring constantly with a whisk, add milk and roasted garlic paste.

Cook until sauce is thickened (coats the back of a spoon). Remove sauce from heat then add salt, pepper, nutmeg, Gruyere and Cheddar cheeses. Taste and adjust salt and pepper if necessary.

Stir in cooked pasta. Pour into baking dish. Sprinkle topping to cover entire top. Cover with foil and bake 15 minutes. Remove foil and continue baking until sauce is bubbly and topping is browned. Enjoy!

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