Beau Isaac on his birth day.
Riding down a dark country road that leads us to J's parents's house, the vehicle suddenly slows. I clench my jaw as another contraction comes around.
"Babe, they're two and a half minutes apart. Maybe we should go faster," I say. We're dropping the Mini Monster off before heading to the hospital. We thought we'd have plenty of time to make the five minute drive to his parents when we were leaving the house... until I noticed the time separating each contraction. Oops.
"I would but I'm watching for deer crossing, Babe," he said apologetically. Sure enough, we see a small deer tiptoeing out the woods at the edge of the road. J slows and let's it cross the street. We stare at each other eerily. I'm adding "Sixth Sense: Animal Predictor" to J's list of attributes.
Let's back up. The above happened early Monday morning. My water broke 13 days early at 1:00am. My due date was August 28th. I had been telling J and my Mom for weeks that Beau was coming early, I just had this very strong feeling about it. When I started getting contractions at 11pm on Saturday night I looked down at my belly and rubbed it. "I think Mama was right. I'll see you soon little Beau."
All day Sunday the Baberhusband and I literally sat our butts on the couch and timed contractions. We finally got bored and tired around 10pm on Sunday and headed to bed for some shut eye. At that point my contractions were 7 minutes apart. Three hours later my water breaking awakened me. "Jason," I coaxed him awake with a very loud whisper. "Hey babe? Don't freak out, but, I'm pretty sure my water just broke."
I got a sleepy look and J's head rolled back to the pillow... and suddenly jerked back up. "What? Your water broke??" Annddd we were up throwing over night bags in the car and on our way.
When we got to the hospital and pulled up to the curb, the security guard met us and asked if I needed a wheelchair. Like a child excited for a ride in one of those things I say yes, bare down for another contraction and think "This is it." Strange how nervous I was at the beginning of my pregnancy and for years before that... of labor, of delivering a baby. And now all I could do was smile like a fool in between my grimaces. I couldn't wait to meet the little monster who hiccuped three times a day and held his own kickboxing classes in my tummy for the past 9 months. Soon my husband and I would go from "we" to "three".
Before I was even in my laboring room both sets of parents had made it to the hospital. Upon checking how far along I was the nurses decided we needed to get an epidural running asap. This made my heart race: was I really that close? The nurses cooed at me and told me how rare it was these days for a woman to go into labor on her own, without inducing and progress this steadily. I was secretly a little proud...
Towards the end of my pregnancy my doctor predicted Beau to be a large baby. At my 36 week appointment she said "We've got a big ole butt in there," and sent me to get a sonogram to estimate his weight. And at 36 weeks Beau's weight was estimated to be 8lbs, 4oz. An average child's weight at that week: 6lbs. Plus, babies gain a 1/2 lb each week in the last month of pregnancy so you do the math. Needless to say, I was thrilled that I would have a chance to deliver him instead of going in for the c-section she expected me to have at 39 weeks.
After seeing my doctor at 7 am and making the decision to "truck on through" for a regular delivery, J and I held hands and settled in for what we hoped to be just a few more hours. We tried for a cat nap shortly after her visit, but my shakes were getting worse and the epidural began fading to the point where I could feel my contractions again. Not one to be brave, I told the nurses. After a quick Mommy-check we found I had a fever, one that I would keep for days after delivery. This was draining the effectiveness of my epidural.
After 3 hours of very real contractions and being stalled at 8 cm my doctor came in to make a decision. When she pulled up a chair to talk to me and J my heart sank a little. I knew what she was going to say. Beau was sunny side up (which explained the rib pains, little booger, hehe) and while she would stand by my decision to try to deliver him naturally you could tell she was opting for a c-section. (My doc had been very laid back through my entire pregnancy, never pushing a decision on me. At this point I needed her to make one for me.)
At this point I was weak from the fever and pain; I broke down into tears. All I wanted was for Beau to be delivered safely, without him experiencing any trauma. Worried about the baby, we opted for a c-section. How soon? my husband asked her. She stated that we would prep right away but that we had 5 people waiting for a section in front of us. What?! There was a waiting line for c-sections? She laughed and told us that the hospital was a mad-house this night, that they were basically full to the brim with deliveries. We asked if there was a full moon out. :)
An hour and a half later I was being wheeled into surgery. While they prepped me I worried about Jason waiting for me outside of the room.
"Hey Doc?" I asked and she responded, coming into view. "My husband... he's not curious about what's going on down there so can we..." Before it was even out of my mouth she and the nurses were laughing and promised they would prevent him from any necessary distress and/or fainting.
Soon they were ready and he walked in, all Daddy-cuteness in his white scrubs head-to-toe. They sat him down beside me and he immediately grabbed my hand. The only part of him not covered up were his eyes. "Your eyes are killing me right now," I told him, catching a sob in my throat, the tears just cascading down my face. I will remember the way his eyes looked in that moment for the rest of my life.
What seemed like minutes and yet hours later, Beau Isaac was born. I heard him before I saw him and that sweet little mewing off his set me off into another round of sobbing. He was the most beautiful baby I've ever seen. And boy was he big! That was in my tummy?? J stayed by my side and comforted me until the nurses asked if he wanted to come over to where Beau was being taken care of. I assured him I was fine and off he went. Seconds later J was at my side again. Did I want to hold him? Still dizzy with the shakes, I sadly declined. I looked at J's eyes and saw the question before he asked it. Yes, I told him, hold your son. I'm fine.
And another moment later J had our little monkey in front of my face, all 8lbs 15.2oz, 21 3/4" of him. I rubbed his little face with my fingers and kissed my husband before they wheeled me into recovery. "I'll see you soon," my husband said and we exchanged I-love-yous.
Beau being a relaxed lil baby right after delivery.
Jason watching Beau being bathed and fed after delivery. I love the look on his face in this photo.
Three hours later I was wheeled out of recovery into our room. I was told I'd be in recovery for only an hour so I didn't believe my mom when she rushed up to me, a little freaked out that I was in there for so long.
I do recall being in recovery, going in and out of consciousness while the nurses came in waking me to do the touch-and-pinch test. "Does this feel like a touch or a pinch?" After a few times of being woken up for these I realized the sooner those touches felt like pinches the sooner I would be released and would see my baby and husband. I remember trying my hardest to hold my eyes open when she came in and hoping each and every time that the touches would feel like pinches. It didn't even occur to me to fib a little. (Even heavily medicated I'm a rule-follower. *snicker*)
The hours after delivery seemed to fly by. Eventually the shakes wore off and I was able to hold and cuddle my sweet Beau Beau. Oh how he smelled and looked! We heard our family saying "He's got Jill's lips!" and "He's got Jason's eyes!" but all I knew was that he was adorable, the perfect mix of both Jason and I. Would he have our shared sense of humor? J's height? My facial expressions? Would he grow up to be spontaneous like his Daddy? Would he possess his Mama's love for cooking? I saw our lives flash before my eyes of him all grown up as Jason joked beside me about our little linebacker. "Stay little," I whispered to him and kissed his bitty cheek.
Beau Isaac Corkern
Born August 16, 2010
Weight: 8lbs, 15.2 oz
Height: 21 3/4"
With steel blue eyes, blond hair, his daddy's eyes and his mama's lips.
We love you, Baby Beau. Thank you for changing our lives forever.
Even though Beau was taken from me by c-section, I'm so glad I was able to experience labor. It truly is an amazing thing to go through. I had told J before that I had hoped to have a good story to tell Beau when he was older of his birth day. This Mama is happy she got her story. :)
happy friday + a san francisco field trip...
21 hours ago