While I want badly to start working on my very own "Baby Story" or birth story, I'll have to start with just a few tidbits as my fingers are still very sore and swollen. Just a few minutes of typing and I'm done.
This is not only for me and my online journal, but a present of sorts for the love of my life and now father of my child. Baber, I don't think I could ever repay you for the amount of love and care you have given to me and our little Beau in this past week. I know how much you love my blog posts and well, its been a while... Here's a little token of Mommy-appreciation.
I love you, BaberDaddy.
Our First Days with Beau
People ask if I cried in delivery when I first saw Beau and I said no... The second I heard his bitty voice I cried. Due to a last minute c-section I heard our little guy annouce his arrival before I saw him and that precious mewing of his set me off.
Babe, seeing your face question mine in the delivery room when the nurse asked if you wanted to hold the baby made me realize how lucky I am to have such a selfless, thoughtful man in my life. You knew I couldn't quite hold him just yet and still you made sure I was okay before you stepped in. It may have seemed a small gesture to you but to me, in that shaky moment, it meant the world.
Later that night, holding Beau with J at my side and watching his eyes move from my face to J's face, recognizing our voices as we murmured to him was the most intense, joyful moment I've ever had in my life. That was when it felt real for me, when it set in. We are parents. I am a Mommy.
People tell us "Beau looks just like his Mommy!" or "Beau looks just like his Daddy!" While I'm pretty sure our little guy is the perfect mix of us both, I secretly melt when I hear he looks like his Daddy. When I'm holding him and he furrows his brows or puckers his lips, I see so much of Jason in him and it kills me every time. I imagine what he will look like when he gets older. I know he'll be just as handsome as his Daddy.
I'm a wreck. I can't see the computer screen.
I cry all the time now but they are nothing but happy tears. The smallest things set me off and I just let them fall. The icing on the cake? Looking up from watery eyes and seeing my husband smiling at me, or hearing him say "You're a mess," before he kisses me on the forehead. Which of course, we all know just makes the tears fall harder.
Did I mention that I'm a wreck? Someone give me a tissue. Shoot, just give me the box.
Something I noticed yesterday and just had to laugh: I love how J and I talk to each other through the baby: "Daddy takes good care of us doesn't he? He does cuz he loves us." ... with Jason sitting right there within earshot, grinning his face off. Funny how a baby brings another way of communication into the mix. :)
Little baby noises. Need I say more?
The way Beau smells right after bathtime. *sigh* There's nothing quite like it.
I catch my husband using Beau's name in the silliest ways. This morning he was singing to our little monkey: Beau Beau Beau Beau Beau Beau Beaaau... in the tune of the Jeopardy melody. I snickered to myself for a minute in the hall before walking into the den and asking if our baby was going to be on the gameshow.
Right now my husband is napping, the first nap he's taken all week. I don't know how he's done it. He changes just as many diapers and gives just as many bottles, along with taking care of all the household chores and taking care of me... I would have crashed long before now if I were him.
Again, I appreciate everything you do for us babe. I hope you liked my "tidbits" of our first days with Beau. I'm so lucky to have you by my side.