All Alone

Monday made 6 months for J and I can’t remember the last time I dated someone for that long without getting tired of them or annoyed by them. And the strange thing is that I spend way more time with him that I ever have with anyone else. I mean, we’re practically living together.

We spent the weekend apart and I didn’t know what to do with myself. I exercised like a fiend so that I could pass some time. I cooked, I cleaned and I organized. I went shopping with a good friend of mine. I spent time with my family.

I went back to my old ways too. Yep, I checked in every closet, under by bed and behind my shower curtain for bad people waiting till I fell asleep to kill me and rob me of all my possessions. Again, what exactly would I do if there was someone lurking behind my shower curtain? I never don a knife while checking for intruders. I’ve always thought if I were ever kidnapped or attacked in my home, that I would just act crazy to scare the bastard off. Like start singing Happy Birthday to him, or maybe Kung Foo Fighting.

Anyways.

I missed him. Every time I thought of something funny to say I’d look over at the empty place on the couch, or the spot beside me in bed where he’d normally be laying. AND THERE WERE NO FEET LOOKING FOR MINE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. I think I missed that the most.

I opened my fridge Saturday night and looked over my shoulder at the couch.

“Hey babe, what do you want for dinner?”

Silence.

“Nah, I don’t really feel like chicken. How about Mexican?”

Silence.

“Okay good! Mexican it is!”

I am a sad, sad person.