Reflection

Its Saturday morning and hot as Hades out already. J had to work today but before he left he was kind enough to drop a batch of orders into the mailbox for me. As I crept into the den this morning I realized I had missed a package and looked at Mini wishing she could take it out to the box for me.

That made me remember a time when I was a little girl walking to the mailbox with my Maw Maw every afternoon when she used to watch us before we were old enough for school. And I thought "One day I'll be doing that with Beau." I wonder if he'll remember little rituals and moments like that with his mommy when he gets older.

Today I am 33 weeks pregnant. We're in the homestretch! If the doctor predicts the baby's weight as being above average again on Monday I have a feeling she's going to want to induce early. I'm hoping that is the case. I'm hot, I'm a whale, I'm exhausted... and I'm ready to get my body back and our little monkey into my arms.

Thinking back to the mailbox memory: these last few months all I've been thinking about is how thankful I am, how grateful I am that I am able to work from home so that I can raise our little monkey. That it will be me feeding him, nurturing him, seeing his first crawl and so many other firsts. That every evening when my husband comes home I'll be waiting at the door with our little creation in my arms to give Daddy hugs and kisses.

I dream of taking care of baby Beau and sneaking naps in when he naps, tending to the household as I usually do and squeezing in my love of jewelry making when time permits. Reading to him and teaching him new things every day and sharing with Daddy when he comes home. Cooking comfort food and having the house smelling of it when my husband arrives home from work. I am baffled that I will have the opportunity to juggle it all and from the comfort of our home. How did this happen? How did I get so lucky? And when did I get so dern traditional? *grin*

I am ever so grateful for a kind, considerate, supportive husband that has my back in every decision I make. That we work so well together as a team. That he didn't flinch when I first told him about wanting to see how far I could take Jillry, that he believed in my dream. And more importantly, that he could see what my dream could do for the betterment of our family if in fact I did succeed.

And I have succeeded. WE have succeeded. The Baber and I, we cherish what our families gave us growing up: steady, stable homes... parents who are still together... parents who have instilled values and morals in us... a childhood of great memories. Knowing that we can give our growing family the same is priceless.

Not that any other family with a mother working out of the home can't do the same. I just know that for me, having this opportunity to do what I love for a living, working from home and being able to keep my child here with me will make me the best mommy I can be. I'm all about simplicity, I thrive on it. When there is too much clutter in my life, whether it be co-worker drama, a traffic-laden commute to work and back, bringing work home (that never really meant anything to me) - I'm so much less the person I want to be, that I know I can be.

Jillry allows me to be virtually stress-free. To use my creativity. And that makes this new mama a happier person.

So... enough of my babble, I just had to get some things off my chest before I burst. I haven't written a pregnancy log lately so here's an update:

Baby moves: What a little monster we have on our hands. If the kicking, punching and squirming is any indication of what Beau Isaac will be when he gets here, Mommy will be in tip-top shape right away. ;)

Cravings: Strawberry Icees. Its too hot to eat! Though, that doesn't mean I'm not.... I can't get enough of salads these days and fruit. So, I guess there is some good in being as big as a house in summer cuz all I want is healthy refreshing goods due to the heat out.

Names: If you haven't heard or figured it out yet, we've chosen Beau Isaac for our little man. You can read up on the story of his name here.

Changes in husband: Other than calling me SnoreFace and recording me snoring on his phone? I think we're both just waiting now. Passing the weeks. Getting the room ready. Saving up $. Resting. Talking about "when he gets here". He still falls asleep with his hand on my bare tummy and he's found that he can still snuggle me - the spoon position paired with a belly pillow does wonders for the comfort of this Mama and I get the best sleep because of it.

He's been my hero this past week. I think I pushed myself a little too much and got the point where I literally couldn't get off the couch without crying. Lesson learned! In the meantime, my husband cooked dinner, finished up the laundry and then afterward he drew me a bubble bath to soak in. I've always known he was a keeper but every day he surprises me with something new.

Changes in me: Where to begin? It seems my belly has drastically grown in just the last two weeks or so. The waddling has definitely begun. I've always carried low so I'm not sure if he's dropped yet, but I'm feeling a bit of strain, though thankfully I still haven't had any lower back pain (yet). I'm finally experiencing the puffy swollen feet and hands, but I make a point of resting every few hours to avoid it. I'm having a difficult time cutting back on Jillry: its my heart and soul, so cutting back is proving to be hard. But I'm doing it. Between my husband and mother fussing at me to "slow down" and "rest!", I sort of have no choice now do I? :)

And one more change I've noticed - the closer I get to the end the less nervous I am. The calmer I've become. The more ready I am to just have this little bambino!

Until next time.... xo