Monday, April 12, 2010

Pregnancy Thoughts and Observations: Part 1

Earlier this week I posted a facebook status update that says: "I can physically feel my belly stretching. If one more person tells me they just loooovvedd being pregnant, I'm going to smack 'em!"

Baber gets my notification, reads it and starts laughing. Just moments earlier he asked me if he could get me something while I was huffing and puffing, to which I replied: my allergy medicine, eye drops, some lotion... After I took care of my new, obnoxious allergy issues, I sat back down and was convinced my belly was going to pop. Hurled myself up and literally spread my entire body across the length of the sectional to get some relief, which made J laugh again.

I am forever uncomfortable and I'm only halfway through this. *sigh*

Baber came over and said that someone suggested getting me a maternity massage. I scrunched up my nose. He told me Yeah, I knew you wouldn't like one of those. (I love that he knows me so well.) I told him that he was the only one who could touch the belly right now and get away with it. I then had violent images of karate chopping people in the neck as they reached towards my ever-growing belly. And then J gave me his own belly massage, basically him just rubbing the budda belly, which I actually enjoyed.

I told him that while I loved watching my belly grow and imagining the miracle taking place inside it, I missed my body. I miss being able to just throw myself around and be silly with him like I used to. Being active. Before, I had this thing I did before getting into bed. He would be ready before me and already be in the bed. Towel drying my face, I'd peek in at him in the bed, hang up the towel and literally run and throw myself at him in the bed. As in, leap and hurl my body through the air into the bed beside him, slamming into him. Not very feminine, but it always sent us into giggles.

Middle of my belly rub I tell him how I miss that. He laughed and said he didn't realize how physical we were with each other until now, now that we can't be.

These are just thoughts, just observations... I know I won't be pregnant my whole life. Still, its funny the things you think of while pregnant.

And the dreams! If I could hold onto something from pregnancy, that would be one thing I'd vote to keep. They're so incredibly vivid. Not always good, but I remember so much when I wake up.

One more thing... I believe I'm feeling the baby move around now. Little bumps, flutters and such. The Baberhusband and I now have a ritual every night: He tucks a gazillion pillows around me and I settle in, then he cups his hand over my protruding belly. It's so incredibly soothing for me, his hand so warm - I swear it helps me sleep better. And we just lay there like that for a while. We concentrate and I tell him when I feel the baby move. He laughs at me when my face lights up and tells me he wishes he could feel it. Soon, I tell him, you'll be able to feel and SEE it move.

When I'm watching him while we're like that, I almost believe that he would have willingly carried the baby himself if he could and I just have this feeling, this amazing feeling that he's going to be an incredible daddy.

That's all for now.... just a few random thoughts circulating that I needed to let loose. I'm hoping to have some updated bump photos soon and a pregnancy update after we find out the sex of the baby, which is this Monday!

NOTE: I will no longer be sharing my updated post links on Facebook. Unfortunately a handful of sourpusses like to take things I say and run with them, giving me their unwelcome negative advice and thoughts on my pregnancy. I figure, I'm allowing them to purge their thoughts because I'm technically sharing mine with them. While a lot of my friends have been amazingly encouraging and supportive in this first pregnancy of mine, others feel the need to remind me that "its a blessing to have children" when I make an offhand comment about a rare bad day. We're all human, learning along the way. These posts are for me to remember this pregnancy by, to update and share with those that love and care about me and my family. So, if you want to receive my updates I'd be more than happy to send you the links, just let me know.


jason said...

uh, just for the record, if I were the one that had to carry the baby, we'd never have children. Just wanted to make that clear.

Sydney said...

Love Jason's comment, lol. Jill, you have every right to feel how you do. You have to go thru so many changes, phyically, and emotionally, when your pregnant in such a short period of time. I literally remember taking a bath one night and crying because I felt like I was in someone elses body, nothing felt right. Not that I was not excited to be pregnant, but it's just a lot to deal with at times. You have every right to have good days, bad days and days that aren't good or bad.

But that baby is going to have one set of amazing parents, the love and honesty that you and J seem to have is something that's very rare and very wonderful!

Christie said...

Fist off, you have a wonderful husband! Rock on, Jason!

Second, no one has a perfect pregnancy. We all had highs and lows. Days that we would give anything for it to be over, and days that we just wanted to stay pregnant forever. You aren't feeling anything that any other pregnant women has felt.

I love that you are willing to share with us, these strangers that over the years have become a family of sorts.

PS, My word verification is allmadd. Too funny.

Sister Copinherhair said...

I am convinced that women who "LOOOOVE being pregnant" are all on crack. I hated every minute of it but have loved every minute since my son was born.

My clients used to just reach out and touch my belly without even asking. I wanted to scream at them, "I need a license to touch your hair! Do you have a license to touch my belly?!"

For what it is worth, I feel your frustration.

Crissy said...

Lol, I'm one of those "crackheads" that loves being pregnant! All 3 of my pregnancies were different, with this last one for sure being harder (I ain't no spring chicken anymore!)...and not at all were any "easy". Leg cramps and headaches were the worst for me, but I knew "this too shall pass". When you and J are sitting in bed and you start to see your belly "roll" as he rolls, or a foot here, a hand there...all those other things you soon forget. I, for one, appreciate that you share your difficulties and real feelings. We all have had them, and some are also going through the same things and feel less alone when you share.

Margen said...

I love your blog so much- you are such an inspiration to me. I love that you allow us a peek into the wonderful Baberhouse.. I am not surprised by people's sour responses to life's journeys. I too have experienced quite a few myself.

Hang in there- your belly is adorable and you look very very cute preggo!! Hope you do well at the Craft fair in Denham this weekend!!

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