Monday, October 20, 2008

With Friends Like These...

Remember the days when your best friend gave you half her sandwich because you forgot your lunch? Or would call your loser boyfriend to break up with him for you? Remember the days when she cried because you were crying from heartache over the break up of the "love of your life" at 14?

I remember. Where did those friends go?

Do people just get tired of being a good friend? Do they get jaded over the years by the rotten apples and decide Why bother? and become bad friends themselves?

Maybe. But I do remember what it was to once have good friends. I had a friend who used to send me lil cards and hand written letters when she visited her parents over Spring Break. She knew my favorite color, food, music, band, pants size and exactly how to shield me from a certain guy in my life that just wouldn't leave me be. She would always put me first, which made it so easy to put her first. We shared clothes, stayed up late talking about our dating troubles, cried while watching sappy movies together.

Sure, people get older and have less time for this stuff. Sure, she was bipolar and let the crazy take over and I ended up having to say goodbye (another story) but the point is - it can be done.

People can make the conscious effort to call on birthdays, to equally give as well as take, to speak kindly and treat their friend's loved ones with respect.

To not stand people up when invited to dinner, not just once, but TWICE.

Maybe I'm overreacting, but I want to be treated the way I treat people and I just don't feel like its that hard.

Know what I mean??

13 comments:

Jessica said...

I SO know what you mean. I often wonder about this myself. Good friends turning into selfish jerks. Does it come with age? I don't know. I just try to make a conscious effort not to be like them.

-Papa said...

I feel ya girl. :-(

Real Live Lesbian said...

I do, I do, I do.

Roxrocks said...

Here too. I get it. *sigh*

Kylie ... said...

Totally and completely get it.

Good friends are such a rare commodity.

yellowdog granny said...

i agree..I'm the kind of person that holds on to friends like treasured gems. I have a girlfriend in ohio that I havent seen in over 30 years..but we keep in touch by email/letters cards etc..all the time..we have been friends for 46 years...
all my really really great friends i have had for 30 plus years..I like them better than family.

Kelly said...

When I think back at how wonderful my friends used to be to me, and see them now... I get really sad. I am a good friend. I know this. I am the friend that shows up with a tub of ice cream and cookie dough when I hear you break up with your boyfriend. I have a lot of 'friends' and I couldn't give you ONE name of someone that would do that for me. not one. WTF people?! Why is it so hard to be less self involved?

My best friend from school actually ended up sleeping with my husband the month after we separated. I swear... friends aren't like they used to be when you are an adult...

I'm with you... Why is it so hard to be a good friend. Or even a good PERSON?

Kitty said...

I hear you sister! I'm always telling the kids to treat other people in the way in which they'd like to be treated. It's the only way to live. x

Michelle Sanders said...

Oh jillybean how I love you. And yes, I totally know what you are talking about. You know you can call us anytime and we will be there. There may be a baby attached to my hip be we will be there. I never did have a friend that was quite as good as you discribed growing up but I've still seen the decline and lack of friends in general. I think part of it is that we tend to get in different places in our lives. Just like any relationship it's hot and heavy at first and all about the newness and fun stuff and dicovering things about each other and then you get comfy and tend to get neglectful. At any rate, we are here...anytime. Promise. And I NEVER devert calls. And I would NEVER stand you up. Pinky sware.

Christie said...

I know what you mean. But the friends that are still here are the ones that matter anyway.

jason said...

PAPA- where has the wise papa been hiding? Did they finally let you out of the gimpbox? Just kidding. Not reallly.

Damsel Underdressed said...

I know what you are saying. This doesn't excuse everybody but I think as we get older, life just gets in the way. We had a lot less to worry about at the age of 14. Work, husbands, kids, houses, car payments...things just clutter our brains and we forget about things that used to be important to us.

Polgara said...

I so know what you mean and i feel lucky i still have friends like this. Sorry havent popped by for a while i have been a little preoccupied!
Love the engagement photo's!
Pol x

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