My jumbled, tired brain

I haven't slept in days. Not sleeping gives one lots of time to think. A few things that are currently becoming quite clear:

• Things aren't always what they seem.
• The people that you love the most, will often hurt you the most.
• No matter how hard you believe in something, it doesn't mean you can make others believe in it as well.
• Some people will hold on to and repeat the patterns of the past because its all they know.
• Years of self help and growth can often be destroyed in a moment.

That's all for today. There's just not enough room in my heart to give more.

Here's to a better tomorrow.

Our dog?

She likes snowballs.

Birthday Fun

Babers birthday wish was to go riding on the river. We do that pretty often, but it's one of his favorite things. (Are you singing now with a vision from The Sound of Music playing in your head? Thought so.)














Me and the Mini Monster above, trying to take the infamous self-shot photo. I was all "Come here Minner, now smile and look at the camera," and she's "Attention! Attention! Attention!" and her thanks of lick, lick, lick.

Its Baber's new favorite photo. Mine too. We luff her.















This is our lil girl waiting to jump in her spot on the 4 wheeler. As soon as she hears J start up the four wheeler, she goes ballistic. And don't be trying to sneak off without her! If any car or truck door opens while the 4 wheeler is in the driveway, she's sneaky like a ninja puppy, jumping in your car before you can tell her No, Min, I'm just getting my sunglasses...

Oh and we decided this weekend that its not the question "Minner wanna go ride?" that she recognizes and gets excited about, but the tone of that question. J tested it:

"Minner wanna do taxes? Minner wanna do our laundry?"

Yep. Its the tone.














We're getting pretty darn talented at the self shot, I must say. For some reason I think I look like a bunny rabbit in this photo. No? Look again.














J prepping the 4 wheeler for our ride. The laundry basket is strapped on top so that Mini can ride with us. Don't worry, we put a fluffy towel in there for padding and bring her lots of treats. She's very popular at the river: if she's not with us, people ask about her all day. Guess we can never break up with her. Awk-waaard...

So we rode all day long and had a blast, as usual. Then after 6 hours of riding in the sun, J's all "Hey everyone, come to our house to play some warshers!"

-- Screech!!-- Halt. Let me explain something. The game is called WASHERS, not WARSHERS. As in you throw super large washers in this wooden box with holes. I know, so country right? But we're from the small town of Central yo, and some people just like to throw random letters in the middle of words. Oh no, I don't do it. I'm totally against it and it actually embarrasses me. Besides - My mama was an English teacher. She'd beat me for talking like that. And J, well he does it either to jab at me or make fun of those who call it that. I'm thinking its a little of both. :)

Where was I? Oh yeah, so I'm all slumped over, barely keeping myself on the 4 wheeler and I hear J asking people over. I didn't say anything though, I was determined to let him do whatever he wanted on his day!

A few hours later, after a bath and some food, Baber is falling asleep beside me while everyone else is playing Washers. Gotta love him. :)

Oh and I got him this for his birthday:

















And like the chic I am, I purchased one that didn't come with darts. Go figure. I just assumed it would come with them, but you know what happens when you assume... Anyway, J is super awesome at playing darts and I hope he can teach me his skills one day soon. I need to be good at least ONE game in my lifetime. I run from all things competitive while he basks in the glow of a nice round of competitive gaming. Pool, darts, shuffleboard (okay so I love this one), washers, you name it, he's good at it.
I wanna be a boy. Hmph!

So that's it, J's big 3-0. Here's to stepping out of our twenties and many more birthdays to share together!

My birthday Baber

Well love, tomorrow you will be old like me. I sort of feel bad picking on you about turning 30 because I worry you're not looking forward to this birthday.

To me, getting out of the 20s was my permit to freedom. I can shop in the misses department with pride instead of trying to pretend I got my clothes at Forever 21. I feel smart and sassy wearing applique' and sweater sets. I can order beer without feeling like a boy 'cause everyone else orders the trendy cosmo.

I can admit that I love nesting more than going out, and so what if my ta-tas aren't as perky as they used to be? Not like I'm going to be wearing a string bikini anymore.

I can get away with more now because I'm thirty. Yes! And now YOU are thirty with me, which makes it even better. Now you can wear applique' and sweater sets alongside me! (And don't front - I know for a fact you like nesting even more than I do.)

So anyway, this post was supposed to stroke your ego, not joke about your age. That said, I thought I'd list the reasons why I love your "older self" compared to your "younger self". (Think young 20s, hoops in the ears and low slung pants...)

1. You're the country boy I've always wanted to marry. Let me break that down a bit. Back in the day you were all about the gangsta, with your trendy clothes and smooth talk. Hitting the clubs, driving a Honda, listening to rap. Now you feel most comfy in your casual digs, would rather ride the 4 wheelers on the river and drive a truck cause in the country, we're all about hauling stuff. Its comforting. I like doing outdoorsy stuff with you. I like that you are rough and rugged, and I feel that you've grown into that.

2. You're less intimidating. You are less aggressive in your "old age". While you are obviously still an adventurist, you're less likely to harrass and push me into doing something like you would have when I knew you back when. You could be relentless at times. But now? You coax me into things, like snorkeling for example. I knew you wouldn't rag on me if I didn't do it but I had the courage because I knew you'd be proud and supportive if I did.

3. You just get better with age. You're ambitious, focused, helpful. Funniest person I know, intelligent and you know me more than anyone. You are so incredibly patient with me, and can you really say you would have been back in your early twenties? You are different now, in all the best ways.

4. You're mine. So we crushed on each other back in the day. Its true. But where would that have led us back then? The younger you would not have treated me like gold, would not have tried to understand my craziness... you would not have been wholly MINE. Now, I truly feel like I'm the only woman you have love in your eyes for, and that's the best feeling you could ever give me.

So of course I thought you were a little hottie back in the day but you've ripened with age. I'm even more attracted to you. And look who gets to enjoy fine wine now? (I know I left myself open on that one, so zip it.)

Happy (early) Birthday Love Bucket. Can't wait to take you out tonight for dinner and hold hands on the couch for dessert.

Beach Baby

So I never buy anything for myself. Ever. I shop only when necessary, buying a couple of shirts for work when my current ones are worn to the point of fashion embarrassment or the occasional weekend top when I have an event. I buy work slacks on the average of one pair per year. Same goes for undies.

I know, its sad. I just don't like to shop.

However, the item below was an online shopping must-have. And we all know how fun and easy online shopping is!

















Purchased at The Social Cellar. I don't know WHY I had to have it, but I just did.

I placed that little pretty on my Etsy faves and have been peeking back at it for the past week. I've been doing well on my own Etsy sales, so I thought, what the heck? I'm buying myself a lil present!

I don't live anywhere tropical, nor do I frequent the beach often. But I had to have it and my reasoning was that I needed it for our beach vaca coming up next month. I can wear it then, right?

*sigh* I have to go buy a dress for this now, don't I? Eh.

Notes on Cars.

Sounds like the title to a beautiful indie film, doesn't it? ;)

As you read below, I was feeling low yesterday. Well, all weekend really. Troubled by the reality that life can't always be sky-high-wonderful, I cried a mini river on my blog, and well, it helped. This blog is such a great source of therapy to me and not only that, it appears to pose as another outlet to reach my husband.

Sometimes I realize my words and girlish hints just come across as well, me being needy. But if I blog about it? Gotta be serious stuff, right?

After a sweet small convo with my hubs on FB chat, I got in my car for my girls lunch with my SIL, Sis and nephew Toot. A full belly of chicken quesadillas definitely had me on a temporary happy but as I got back in my car the note left under my wiper blade stuck me with a happy that I'm still floating in.

A note from my Babers. Just what I needed.

He still loves me just as much, if not more, than yesterday and also stated that we were to have a date night off schedule because we needed it. (Are you gagging now? I know, I gross myself out sometimes.)

Home from work I'm greeted with the usual: Minnerbait jumping on my leg, Play with me, Pet me, Pay attention to me! and an embrace from my love. After leftover homemade chicken potpie and a few moments of rest, we went for a walk with the puppy. Showers next and off to watch Intervention and Obsessed, legs tangled up under blankets, a lot of hand holding and silly conversation during commercials.

Man, did we need that.

Woke up this morning glowing. Which I posted on my FB status and you know someone , not naming any names STACIE, had to throw the pregnancy hint out. No I'm not preggers! :) (Love you Stace! hehe.)

So anyway the point of this post? We're learning, we're growing. This. Will. Work.

Make time for each other. Communicate what you want with your significant other.

And most imporantly, leave notes on cars.

Something is missing.

And it may just be TIME.

I'm not fulfilled lately and that seems selfish of me.

Loving husband. Check.
Fast growing sideline business. Check.
New beautiful home that I adore. Check.
My family, a few great friends, my sweet Mini Monster. Check.

A few months ago I wanted nothing more than to be busy busy with my jewelry business and finally seeing a profit. Now that I have that in front of me, I'm stretched so thin I can't seem to truly enjoy it.

Last night as Babers and I were winding down, I felt hollow. Empty. Needy of something that I couldn't place my finger on. I sifted through the weekend that had just passed and felt like I was robbed. There's so much to do and so little time to do it that each moment flies by without me being able to relish in it.

I woke this morning craving my husband so badly it brought tears to my eyes. We've only been married 6 months and I feel like I'm failing at being a good wife. And its silly things, really, but they add up to me.

I didn't bake his blueberry cheesecake muffins. What will he eat for breakfast this week?

I haven't hung his work shirts. I haven't planned out this week's meals. I haven't had a hair cut in Lord knows how long, so I feel I'm not keeping myself up. My nails need trimming and I'm pasty white even in the sunny month of June.

We spend our free moments on the couch, me reading, him watching television. I remember when we used to curl up together on the couch and talk for hours while flipping channels. Or sit on the patio at the apartment together sipping margaritas and talking about how great our little life was.

I miss that. I feel it slipping away so fast and I'm scrambling to grab ahold but just can't. How do we get back there? I want the mushy Baber goo again. NOW.

*sigh* Earlier this year I wrote a post on Simplicity. How important it is in MY life. Some people thrive off of being busy, having multiple things going on at once. And I love when I'm in the moment of a fast-paced weekend but afterwards, I feel sort of... hungover.

I just want to step back and enjoy where I am right now, with my husband. I want him to appreciate me like he used to, and I, him.

And I want to start today.

Twilight Bracelets on Sale NOW

I've been making these for a few weeks now but have finally caught up with orders enough that I can offer them for sale here. These are not in my shop yet as I wanted all my lovelies to have a chance to order one before I upped the price for Etsy due to fees.

The Twilight bracelet comes with the following charms: a baseball, a rich red puffy heart to represent Bella, the Cullen lion crest, Jacob's wolf, the apple from the first book, a Twilight tag and the blood red teardrops that match the Twilight earrings and Twilight necklace from my shop. These can be adjusted to the length you need. All charms are of good quality, silver charms.

The bracelets sell for $25 each with only $3 shipping. If you live outside the U.S. please contact me for shipping rates.

To purchase your Twilight Charm Bracelet you can email me here: blueeyez055@aol.com. Due to a few bad apples, I must receive payment before your bracelet is made. You can purchase by check or Paypal. Just state which you prefer in the email.

Thanks for your support Twilight fans! I don't know about you but I cannot WAIT for the New Moon movie to come out!

Love, hugs and fangs,

xo Jill
Creator of JILLRY
www.jilllamonte.etsy.com

Electronic Mania!

What a great weekend! Babers and I set out first thing Saturday morning to run errands.

First thing on our plate was the get the last of our photo package from the wedding. I know, I know, its been over 5 months since we were married and we still haven't received everything in our package??? Don't get me started. However, the collage book turned out great and thanks to the pretty thing above, I'll finally be able to share pics with you again!

Yes! J got a laptop for his birthday! How sweet is that? Even sweeter? After picking up the collage book Saturday we set out to purchase a flatscreen for our den. And boy is it a beauty!

I think we're both antsy to get home this evening to play with our new electronics. Saturday night we went out with friends to hear some rhythm and blues, rocked out by our favorite, Chris Leblanc. Dude plays so hard he's sweating bullets on stage and smiling the entire time. You can't help but have fun.

Plus we got a bonus - half way through the night he played me and J's song Pride and Joy by Stevie Ray Vaughan. (I hope that's a good rendition, I don't have speakers at work!) Since J doesn't do dancing, I raced across the bar from ordering a drink to do an arm-in-arm barstool dance with my husband. Its way more adorable (and less awkward) than it sounds!

We were home by 2am and felt old the next morning. Just can't kick it like we used to I guess, but I do have to say this: going out just on occasion really makes the night way more fun.

Tonight I'm going home to set my camera up. I can't wait to share the back log of photos.

Happy Monday lovies!!