Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Silly Fears

WARNING: The following post may list things that you possibly have not thought of to fear before. Apologies in advance.

Most people know that I’m a worrier. I think about situations that most likely will never happen and yet prepare for them mentally just in case they do.

1. Parents finding sexual paraphernalia at my untimely death. When I was single, my room mate promised to discard of my toy (singular, I have one, don’t judge me) and anything that may lead my parents to believe I was anything less than a wholesome young lady, should I die. I imagine them sobbing quietly while packing my journals and shoe collection, and then both having heart attacks when opening my nightstand. I no longer have a room mate and have recently asked Jason to discard all things naughty, including any lacy nighties (that I never wear but for some reason still have).

2. “Tooting” in my sleep. Thanks to the movie Good Will Hunting, I now have a (small) fear of tooting in my sleep. If you haven’t seen the movie, one of the characters is reminiscing about his deceased wife to a patient. He tells a story of how his beloved wife would sometimes fart so loud in her sleep that it would wake her. “Wha? Was that you??” she would sleepily ask her husband, to which he’d reply “Yes dear, sorry. That was me. Go back to sleep.” He said he didn’t have the heart to tell her, all the while laughing hysterically at the memory. I hope my husband also doesn’t have the heart to tell me should this unfortunate thing happen to me.

3. Being terribly out of style or “not with it”. I try to pick clothes that are simple and classic, and now turn to my sister (who’s a hairstylist) to make sure my hair is hip. Make up is something I usually keep simple. Still, I worry that one day I will end up like one of those women on What Not to Wear or 10 Years Younger who suddenly doesn’t have a clue. Who wakes up one day wearing her husbands cut off sweats and has crazy eyebrows, all the while her kids and husband glaring at her with disgust.

There's more silly fears brewing inside this worry wart, but I'll save them... maybe for another post. :) Do you have any silly fears?

13 comments:

Jenny! said...

I would die...if my parents found sex paraphanalia after i died...but then i think that i would play a joke and leave my 15inch black dick around for them to find...just for fun!

Trevor Record said...

Here's to hoping my parents don't go over my internet history if I die. (Although it wouldn't be too bad, I would be blushing up in hea- er, down in heck.)

Kelly said...

LOL! funny story to go with Number one. I am the executor of my parent's will. My mother informed me that if they should die, there is a box of things that will need to be discarded that I should not look in! She said she keeps these things in a box that is clearly marked in her will so that I will not find it and go through it. OMG! I about DIED! Scared for LIFE!!

random moments said...

Jenny - leaving something like that around would definitely give my parents a heart attack!

Trevor - I try to think that way, like - what would it matter if they found stuff? I wouldn't know cuz I'd be dead...

Kelly - that box clearly states that your parents are cool! Ha! My parents would never have a box like that. *sigh*

NamesAreHardToPick said...

Yeah, totally with you on the whole parents and sex. My other odd fear is Captain Hook; terrified of him and can't tell you why.

CJ said...

I'm a very opinionated person, that doesn't scare me, what does... is that I talk in my sleep.
My fear is that someone will find out about it, and ask me questions to which I would answer with brutal honesty in my sleep possibly offending some.

Jenny! said...

Kelly, that is fantastic...i would be so curious that I would totally look!

blog Portland said...

I have an uncommon fear/worry of choking in public, and the embarrassment that would inevitably ensue. It doesn't exactly keep me from doing it, except maybe at hard candy conventions or Chewy Steak Night at my favorite restaurant.

Kelly said...

jenny! EWWWWW!!!It probably isn't as clearly marked as she says, and I will open it up and say "Look! Family Movies!!!" *shudder* ick

random moments said...

Names - your Captain Hook fear makes me think of people who are scared of clowns. A bad childhood memory?

cj - that is a scary thought. Like saying an ex's name in your dream while your current lover is beside you. Eek!

Portland - that's the first I've heard of that fear. Great. Watch me pick that one up. ;)

-Papa said...

Is "Tooting during Sex" another phobia you have but not listed?

Dan said...

#1 is a fear. Perhaps I should password protect my hard disks?

LOL!

Ari said...

I have designated my gayest pal to dispose of my, uh, very personal effects should I die. 'Course then I worry that he'll forget or not get here in time.

As far as style goes, I try to pick stuff that just looks good on me and to hell with the rest of humanity.

Also THANKS for the link and I'm linking you too!

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