- Dream big :: my own boutique
- Competition :: hate it
- Torn :: my thoughts on having children
- Modeling :: lose half my body weight *snort*
- Coaster :: roller
- Slut :: whore (try it, you'll end up calling everyone this. Slutwhore. See? Its funny.)
- Spread :: eagle
- Amanda :: Rama
- Romance :: novels
- Paradise :: me, babers, the beach, no phones, & margaritas!
I've been out of pocket this week - I adopted a handsome guy and his crazy mini puppy for the week. Babers had a class to attend here so I had the honor of being graced with his presence for not one, not two, but 5 full days. In those 5 days I learned something.
I learned that I've been naive about my thoughts on the daily life of a working mother. Recently an older woman I know was complaining about how she used to get off work around three in the afternoon but no longer does. She complained that she hardly had time to run her errands, get home to cook dinner and take care of her three-person household, not to mention taking care of her needs. I sat there thinking "Is she serious?" I'm embarrassed to say but I felt as if she was being weak. My mother had three children, a husband and herself to take care of after working full time as a teacher, not to mention grading papers, packing lunches, tending to baths, ironing clothes - this woman only has one child and she can't manage?
This week I came home to Jason and Mini, and each evening I was greeted with hugs and kisses and puppy lickings. Then I'd settle on the couch for snuggles, but my mind raced with motherly-type tendings: cooking supper, cleaning up, laundry.
I felt as if I couldn't rest. I almost felt guilty just sitting on the couch to hang out with J. (But I still did it, duh.) I think women have this internal need to nurture and its hard to turn off. Even if I didn't have chores to do and even after the dinner was done and the dishes cleaned (thanks to Babers), I still felt restless, like I needed to be doing something. I never feel like that during the week when I'm alone. The dishes can pile up and the carpet can grow things on it before I whip out the vacuum cleaner and I'll still park my ass on the couch for hours. But with Jason there, I feel like I need to be something else for him, something better.
It made me re-think things. I can now see how easy it would be for a woman to "let herself go" after children and years of marriage. I can see how easily it would be to put others first and keep telling myself that I'll shave my legs later. Believe me, I was not in any way swamped taking care of Babers and Mini, by any means. He probably took just as much care of me and well, Mini is no problem. Actually, J takes care of Mini like she's his child. Still, I just felt it while they were there - that need to nurture and clean and take care of something, anything. It was the strangest thing.
Anyway, restless mind or not, I still had an awesome week. Little popeye snores in the morning, laying in the blue light with his freezing ass feet on my legs... Popcorn and movies in bed, long walks with the Mini Monster... Sweet notes left on my car. So nice. How was your weekend?