Monday, July 07, 2008

The Little Things You Do

No, this is not a sappy, Jason-does-no-wrong post. Don't click the X just yet. You anti-love goddesses and guys may just enjoy this one...

My Babers is the shiz-nit, the Cheese Wiz for my crackers, the apple of my eye. But he DOES have his moments.

1. "I still love ya." Sounds sweet doesn't it? Its NOT. He uses this phrase after HE does something to annoy me. Not the other way around. For instance, I'll gripe at him for having to pick up his towel/boxers/beer cap and he'll smile all sweet and say "I still love ya." Is it just me or should "I'm sorry" replace that phrase???

2. Huh? I've blogged about this one before. I'll very clearly say something and he'll say "Huh?" to me. I'll be standing 5 feet away from him and he'll do it. I used to stop, look at him and say "Really? What did I just say?" Now, I just cut my eyes at him and continue, knowing full well he heard and won't miss a beat.

Or he'll act like he gets lost mid-conversation: We'll be talking about properties. Say we saw two properties in one afternoon and later discuss it. I'll be talking about the wooded lot we saw and then I'll say What about the other lot? Did you like it? And he'll totally blank out. Like he wasn't with me that afternoon. Like I made up this fictional lot and I'm trying to trick him. He does this a l l t h e t i m e.

I KNOW the guys out there are cracking up, slamming their beer cans together while reading this (like I have tons of frat boys out there who read my silly blog). I know you women out there are violently nodding your heads cuz you know what I'm talking about.

And Jason is probably reading this laughing his ass off. He tickles the hell outta himself. (Babe? I still love ya!)

3. My favorite, my ultimate favorite is this one:

Me: (after 8 hours of riding on the river) Can we start heading home now? I'm so tired.
Him: (all jacked up on Bud Light) Um, okay. After this beer?
Me: Okay.

One hour later...

Me: Jason? How much longer?
Him: (Digging in his cooler) After this beer...

In the meantime, I'm tired, light-headed and sick from hunger, and I get to drive us home 35 miles to town. Fun stuff.

Is this just a guy thing? One track mind? Beer. Beer. Beer. Beer.

(I'm sure by now i'm pushing it, but J owes me one. And he didn't take me to Hooters as make-up.)

4. The best one happened just yesterday. This one is priceless. Actually, the more I think about this one the more it tickles me.

We're out driving around looking at houses yesterday for like, 4 hours or so, and J yanks his wheel last minute and zips into an Arby's parking lot. Says he's hungry. Pulls up to order, orders his food. Pays for food and pulls out of lot. About 3 miles down the road he realizes he didn't ask if I wanted anything.


I know, greatness, right? But seriously, it was funny. It was so unlike him but the icing on the cake of a weekend I had with him.

*snort* I said CAKE.


Hammer said...

Sounds like ADD. I get yelled at for not being able to listen to two conversations at once.

Multi tasking is tough for some guys lol

On a limb with Claudia said...

These are all testosterone related problems. Sorry. There are tricks - "I need you to listen now" is my favorite. I must say, though, I would never ever let D get away with the Arby's. I'm no southern woman - here in the West, we give the guy a love tap and say, "I'll have...." :)

You'll work all of this out - it's the small stuff.

jason said...

I admit, I was a slacker boyfriend/fiance this weekend and my mind goes blank on an excuse why.....but.....I STILL LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!

-Papa said...

Yo Babers!
Here's some replacement lines you can use since RM is finding the current stash a bit antiquated:
"I still love ya." Substitute with the following:
-It's a good thing I still love ya.
-What can I do, I lost your receipt and they won't take you back.
-Aren't you happy I have such a big heart?

"Huh? "
Substitute with the following:
-Did you just say what I think you just said? (((and if she asks what you think she said, just say anything strange like, "bald monkeys make good lovers.")))
-Right.(((but say this in an acknowledging way, not like you're agreeing, just accepting whatever she said even if you're not listening.)))
-Oh there was something I wanted to tell you, but it's on the tip of my tongue..., so what were you saying?

-If you forget to ask if she wants anything the next time you zip out of the drive thru just say you're trying to help her with her weight watchers program, then offer her a french fry for consolation.

heartinhand said...

Sounds like you have a Derwood in Training.


Kitty said...

But babe ... he still loves ya! x

Stacie said...

Whew! Jason's NORMAL! I was starting to think he was like some sort of God or something! ;P

Just wait till you've been married 20 years Jillybean! Last night DH and I were out for a run. My first 5 miler in training. I'm full out running, on my last legs, one lung collapsed, sweating bullets and he's walking behind me and he says to me "What's the matter, can't you run any more?"

If you're asked to serve jury duty in a little town in VA for the homicide of a womans husband while out trail running, please accept, I need all the sympathy votes on the jury I can get!


Christie said...

Unfortunately, they just get worse with marriage. Jay doesn't even attempt to take his dirty clothes to the hamper any more, ate least before he tried doing it some of the time. Now it's just "Oh, I'm done wearing this" drop "and this" drop. And in comes me, bitching away and picking it up. And don't even get me started on towels and over flowing garbage cans.

Ari said...

Ha! I love the "I still love ya!" thing, but I imagine it'd get annoying after awhile.

Jessica said...

Hey- found your blog through your comment on Hammer's. Love this post, so true! :) I think all guys are like this to a certain extent. blah

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