Tuesday, August 05, 2008

He loves me, I can tell

Those of you who have been with me and this blog long enough might remember that saying of J & mine. After a sweet something one of us did for the other we would say "You love me, I can tell."

We still have our sayings, still run them in the ground until we are sick of them and no longer use them.

I miss this one most for some reason. It said a lot in a few words. We said it in the beginning of our relationship, in the honeymoon phase. I miss that too. But, the closer we come to being married and living in our new home, the less that loss of honeymoon phase bothers me.

Bride & groom. Man & wife. *sigh* The time is coming at full speed and I'm bracing myself. Trying to savor the little moments. Like these:

Technically, Babers is still courting me. And really, he still does. We still date. Text each other sweet things during the day. I still get surprises. And he knows how much I love surprises. And wildflowers, for that matter.

Will he still surprise me after we're married? Will he randomly bring home a bunch of my favorite flowers with a bottle of delicious red wine, like he did this time? And when I ask "What is this for?" will he respond with a sly little smile and say"Just because"?

I think so. Its what I fell in love with. Its what I love so much about him now and I think it will be the same twenty years from now.

Call me an optimist, a romantic, a dreamer. I don't care. I've recently been part of conversations where women have rolled their eyes while talking about their men. "It doesn't last long, honey." Well, I just hope that I don't have that type of attitude when I get older. Cuz to be honest, why would J still want to love me with as much silly abandon if I have that attitude?

I've gone off the rocker. Apologies. I'm just floating this morning, having a look at my pretty bunch of lilies and sunflowers, thinking about how J will look coming in the front door of our new house one day with a gathering of these. Or just how he'll look coming through the front door. We'll still smile wide at each other and go in for our big hug and kissie face fest.

And maybe I'll say "You still love me, I can tell."


-Papa said...

No need to apologize. :D

LindseYaYa said...

Oh. My tummy lurched for you in this post. I remember having those same exact feelings before we got married. And what's worse, I remember my 'friends' married and not, tossing out those same dumb phrases- as if they could read into the future of our lives together. Let me be clear here. Those people will eventually bug you- and you'll be frustrated that they aren't giving you supportive advice that actually amounts to something... instead they'll drive those same worn out phrases into the ground, too. What makes them think that Jill is just like them? Or is too dumb to figure out how to keep their love alive? Come on, really? Don't they know that you are different? Even I know that!

Life is a choice. A perspective. Love is free... it doesn't cost a penny to show your love to each other. You have this life to love the hell out of each other... It's your job. It's his job. The minute you decide that the little things don't matter- you begin to silently justify why he is no longer important... and vice versa. Everyone loves each other when they get married. Even the idiots who eventually fall apart. We all loved each other then... what seperates us from that moment (and the dumbdumbs) is how we CHOOSE to treat our lovers everyday afterwards. Understand that from the day you get married and afterwards, you will be FIGHTING for your marriage and each other. It's just the fact. You've got to find out why/how 50% of people fall out of love and end their marriages... Figure out their mistakes to so you won't repeat them in your own lives. AND the people who say the stupid stuff- get way from them. If their own relationships weren't important enough for them to encourage and support, what makes you think they give a flip about encouraging you an Jason? What do they say about misery? Yeah, it loves company! Can you tell I feel strongly here?

YOU CAN DO THIS MARRIAGE THING... AND SO CAN JASON. The hard part is deciding to make your love the exception to the rule, rather than the majority of blokes who give Marriage a bad name. It's not easy to choose to stay in love- but, lets just say, it's the most extreme and fulfilling pleasure around. ;) I want that for yall. xo

*sorry for the novel, but you know me... I'm wordy. ;)

Christie said...

Even though I don't get random flowers (he never did that anyway) he still does the same little things that made me fall in love with him in the first place. He remains my best friend above all else, which helps when we are argueing. We just look at each other and laugh and, poof, the fight is over. Certain things have changed, like the kids always come first. But we still give ourselves a few minutes when he comes home to talk about the day and just hold each other. What we had to remember is that even though we are married, we are still 2 people. I think a lot of people forget that. I wish you guys the best of luck. You seem to have good heads on your shoulders, and have a great understanding of what the other needs.

Stacie said...

it'll be that way for you guys Jilly and those women who roll their eyes and say it won't last are just jealous. DH and I are closing in on 20 years of marriage and sure, we have a day or two here and there of eye rolls but more oft than not we have those sweet suprise filled moments and they're awsome. if they happened every single day I suppose they wouldn't be nearly as sweet, or suprising for that matter, but every once in awhile I'm cooking dinner and my hair is a mess and I'm running here an there and throwing things from the stove to the trash and I miss and I bend over to pick it up and I get a little pat on the bottom, or I turn around hurriedly looking for the spatula before the eggs burn to the pan (can you tell I'm not a lover of cooking?) and he'll stop me cold put his arms around me and say, "you have the prettiest eyes"...those are the moments that make the eye roll days worth every moment....you and j have that, it shows..not the eye rolls, but the special moments...the just because moments..you won't lose it.

Marcia said...

Matt and I have been together for 8 years and married for 3, and he still makes me have that butterflies in the stomach thing, and he still surprises me with picnics in the park and flowers just when I least suspect it - or when I need it most.

When the right people get married, it doesn't change the relationship.

Roxrocks said...

Twenty one years ago, I met my hubby. The other day he sent me a text that started "Hey Babe..." when I read it outloud in front of my SIL she said "Oh you people make me sick!" I can't help but feel a little smug because I know I'm happy and so is he. She is not and neither is her hubby. I don't know if they ever were. But I know we are and we work at it. Just like you and J will.

Polgara said...

Dont listen to them, it will still be like that, maybe on a smaller less frequent scale as life throws things at you both (like kids :0)!) but it will just make you appreciate it all the more!
Pol x

Anonymous said...

I remember feeling this way before I got married... with all the negative people. Even though I am divorced, and maybe they were right sometimes... I agree with you. If you have that attitude, it creates a nasty circle of miserable.

You aren't as nice to him, so he doesn't do the things he did to be nice to you, then you are mad that he doesn't, and he does even less. So, keep doing what you are a doing. You guys will be so happy, and you can encourage other young loves to do the same... and ignore the negative nasties. ;-)

You guys are too cute... gives me hope. :-)

Obesio said...

The other day, my wife and I met for dinner after work. I was waiting for her in front of the restaurant and after many, many years together, I still got that lovesick feeling in my stomach when I saw her turn the corner and start walking towards me.

Of course, we have a lot of money and no children. That might help keep the romance alive.

travistee said...

How very, very awesome. Your post brings back very fond memories for me. Thank you!

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