Friday, December 14, 2007

Potty Humor and Cocktail Attire

Since the subject of my dirty boss is still hovering in the air from the post below, I thought I'd share something even more disgusting with you. Bet y'all are just on the edge of your seats...

Yesterday at 4:00 pm I went to powder my nose. I stepped into the restroom and immediately stepped right back out.

The reason I didn't use the unisex bathroom is because the last person who visited it decided to completely miss the toilet and pee directly on the floor in front of it instead. Now, usually he dribbles and I have to contort myself while hovering in order not to get my slacks wet, but this time there was a puddle. A PUDDLE people. It was actually running into the drain in the center of the floor which is about two feet away from the toilet.

At 4:30 my co-worker leaned in and said she was leaving for the day. Even though my scheduled time is to work until 5, I tucked behind her and did a quick wave goodbye to my boss. I had to pee for chrissakes.

I know you guys are like "Why are you working there??" but let me assure you - my boss doesn't treat me bad, he's just gross (and seriously ADD). He pays well and I'm not exactly busting my ass here either. Its the first job I've had that didn't give me nightmares. You know the ones I'm talking about: As a waitress I had dreams about being in the weeds. As an event coordinator I dreamt about being the only person manning the conference floor and my walkie talkie batteries kept running down. As a graphic designer, other designers would steal my best work and pawn it off as their own, raking in thousands while I still couldn't afford to move out of my parents house.

You get the picture. Its just a job. One day I will be my own boss selling my fabulous jewelry and eventually get back to taking childrens portraits and couples engagement photos. Maybe I'll even become a famous drunken painter after cutting my ear off like Van Gogh. *sigh* How romantical would it be to live my life as an artist again?

I just got some sweet comments about the last post and wanted you to know I wasn't getting beaten or threatened, or like some of you *gasp* sexually harrassed. Ew.

There were so many terrible boss stories, but for me there was a tie between two. The Most Ridiculous Horror Boss stories go to: Little Things & Roxy. Why? Because while reading their boss comments I puked a little in my mouth imagining mine doing such things. Oogy.

J's company work party is tonight. Its cocktail attire, so I sped my booty over to the nearest dress shop for something pretty to wear. I haven't purchased a cocktail dress in years - the closest was my prom dress 12 years ago. I love getting dressed up and I'm really giddy about putting on something purty for Babers that includes heels. In fact, I'm sort of feeling like it is a remake of my prom, seeing as we never got to go to a prom together at our high school, but spent the end of my junior (?) prom night flirting with each other anyway. My date was happy about that, let me tell ya. But, that's another story for another post.

Hope everyone has a great weekend! Muah!


Lightning Bug's Butt said...

You need to keep a whiz jar underneath your desk. Yours and yours alone.

Have fun at the cocktail party. Pictures, please.

And make sure to drink a little more than what is reasonable and prudent.

Kitty said...

Ewww, piddling on the floor is just horrible. :-(

Hope you have a fantastic time at the party.

Take care :-) x

Anonymous said...

I feel bad for any girl that ahs to use a unisex bathroom. I have a lot of blue collars guys who work with me oh man, that bathroom is always a horrible mess - even though it gets thoroughly cleaned every day.

RoxRocks said...

Hey thanks for the gross boss award!! LOL!

To keep things in perspective...imagine being the poor person who has to CLEAN the bathroom your boss whizzes all over. Now, that's a crappy job!

Have fun at the party!

Michelle Sanders said...

Ok now I have to see this dress. Pictures please.

fatwonkkid said...

we had our holiday party a couple of weeks ago. it was casino night, the dress was casual.

the person with the top winnings won a 37" tv. other prizes were a nintendo ds lite, $200 gift card to ticketmaster, and a bunch of other stuff.

we raked in $4500 in funny money, the top prize got $145,000. needless to say we didn't win anything.

-Papa said...

Wear stilts to work.

Anonymous said...

Look at it this way...he must be so short that the pee rolls off his nuts instead of where it should.

Hence, the puddles on the floor!

Steph said...

Unisex toilets are just WRONG because grotty men need a whole trough to pee in. *shudders*

Stacie said...

oooooh! A new dress! Pics!!
You are so very talented, I didn't know you made jewelry as cool is that! I have made several pieces and I enjoy makeing the simpler ones, but the more involved pieces, I just don't have the patience for...
Have fun at your party!

Anonymous said...

Seriusly... can we be bigger bloggy soulmates? I want to be your partner in the artsy lifestyle where you make your own jewlry and take photos. le sigh

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