Work Rant

Okay. So I'm a little nervous even posting this rant about work because my blog address is in the browser history of my computer and the reception area computer. Before I start - Stephers, if you are reading this now, please clear the history on the front computer asap! Hee hee.

Today a co-worker asked me if everything was okay. Apparantly I am completely transparent and cannot keep even the slightest discontent from showing all over my face. My co-worker basically knew what was bothering me and just wanted to confirm. I told her.

My "job" is basically to keep my boss organized. Compared to the positions I've held in the past (event coordinator, association management, graphic designer) this position is really a breeze most of the time. There's no stress, no endless duties at hand, no deadlines, no panicky feelings because the conference is only 2 WEEKS AWAY!!!! Sorry, got a little carried away thinking about the past.

So why am I complaining? Well I'll tell you. The few things I cannot tolerate in people happen to all be traits my boss holds. He's helpless (or pretends to be), wasteful, and severely ADD. Not to mention MESSY. I like to call him The Tornado. How I am supposed to keep someone organized when he leaves his cell phone at random businesses on a weekly basis and can never find his keys?

People. The man will sit at my desk and dictate emails to me, which I type as he sits there. After each email I type I automatically print the email confirmation for our files. This does not keep him from saying "Print that out for me," though by now he should know that I'm going to anyway. After about 5 emails, I'll turn to look at him sitting at the end of my desk and gasp. My neat piles of paperwork have suddenly become a blanket across my desk, the piles no longer exist and he's decided to draw boxes and scribble all over letters that I just prepared for the next day's mail. Shoot me now.

"Where are the email confirmations?" He'll ask. What? I'll think, my eyes scanning the desk before me. I printed every single email out for him immediately after I typed it, what does he mean where are they??

"I just gave them to you," I say. He shakes his head like a defiant child and I stand so that I can begin picking up the mess he's made on my desk, hoping to prove him wrong and find these dang emails laying beneath something. While I'm trying to tidy up to find these, he's pulling papers out of my hand, moving the piles around as I'm organizing. WHAT did he do with them? Did he EAT THEM??

I shake my head and re-print them, handing them to him for the second time. Two minutes later he's asking for them again.

Do I sound petty and childish? I don't CARE. This is annoying. This makes me feel like I'm going cuckoo and I'm NOT. I have more.

The man will stand in the doorway of my room while I am sitting at my desk speaking to a client on the phone and ask me loudly to copy something for him. The copy machine is right outside my door, exactly 1 foot away from his left hip and he wants ME to copy two sheets of paper for him.

One of my favorites: I'll be filing at my table and he'll walk up to me and point to the stapler. "Hand me that," he'll demand, the stapler 3 inches from his pointing finger while I'm a good 4 feet away from it.

He's a pen thief. About ten pens are pulled from the supply closet every Monday and placed into my pen holder. If he needs a pen he will literally pull the one out of my hand to use. I've gotten used to this and don't make a fuss. Instead, I just reach for a new pen from the holder. This happens on average 6 times a day. At the end of the day I may find a few of the pens he's taken laying on the desk or floor, but most of the time he's done who knows what with them.

The man drinks coffee all day and likes a couple of sugar packets in each cup. He has a nasty habit of ripping the sugar packets open, sloppily shaking the packets above his cup and dropping the packets INTO THE SINK to sit for the next two days and get soggy. Trails of sugar are left all over the kitchen counter which we all share. He also leaves Lean Cuisine boxes and the clear plastic wrapping in the sink. The trash can is just a mere 3, maybe 4 feet away. Just turn and put the trash there. Oh. And there's another trash receptacle under the sink too.

"Get me the Highway 16 project file" he'll demand when he walks in, before even saying good morning. Um, what do you mean the Hwy 16 project file? There are 200 Highway 16 files. "The one with the email you typed for me last week." You have GOT to be kidding me. Can you please be more specific. When he's in these moods, the questioning to figure out which file he needs can last a good ten minutes. "Who did I send the email to?" He doesn't know. "What was it about?" He doesn't know. Well, how does he know which file he wants if he doesn't know these things??? ARGH!!!

The phone will ring and I lean into his office "Its Don on line 1 for you." He looks really confused. (We only deal with one Don.) He wants know Don who? I stare blankly at him and tell him the first and last name of the caller. He still looks confused. You know, your architect, the guy you spoke to for an hour yesterday? I swear he's just putting on. Its like he's trying to be difficult.

Y'all, I'm not exaggerating. In fact, one of my co-workers may be reading this now and nodding her head wildly, thinking of so many other things she could add. I hope she leaves a good one that I've missed in my comments. *hint hint*

I just feel like I'm dealing with a 5 year old. Half of the time I'm just so shocked by his behavior that it leaves me speechless. He doesn't wash his hands after using the restroom. (The timing between the flushing and the door opening makes this obvious.) He pees on the floor. He probably kills 2 small trees a day with all the printing and throwing away.

*sigh* I just had to get that out. I should be thankful for the good living I make working for him, and for the lack of stress, blah blah blah, but how could I not share this with my readers? Its RIDICULOUS.

Tell me some horror boss stories. Please. Oh! We'll have a contest even: Most Obsurd Boss Moment/Habit EVER. The prize will be.... um, name it. Within reason. Maybe I should stop while I'm ahead...