Costumes & Curse Words

I was thinking today of my old roomie Lola and some of the random shit we used to do. The thoughts started when I came across an old 80’s style house coat she gave me. We both had a thing for robes and house coats, but this one what every 80’s housecoat should be: lime green with HUGE white buttons down the front with white rick rack accenting every edge and the collar. Large pockets in the front to hold who knows what, because why exactly would you be in a housecoat long enough to store something in the pockets?

The housecoat made me think of her costume bin. Yes, she had a costume bin, and a large one I might add, of silly costumes including a man’s plant jumpsuit with sewed on name tag, maid’s dress with feather duster, a waitress dress (Flo’s Diner style) and some animal print cowboy hats.

To save money we stayed in a lot at night. We got bored. On occasion we would order pizza, get dressed in costume and act like nothing when the pizza boy delivered. On one occasion she answered the door in the yellow Flo’s waitress outfit while I passed by in the background a few times in the bright blue man’s work jumpsuit. I think I had pressed her earlier to talk like she was from Jersey, but I’m pretty sure it took a lot just to open the door in that outfit.

We made up curse words, which I believe started in traffic. “Look at this idiot! You stupid idiot-f*#k!” Our favorites were bitchhead and son-of-a-f*#ker, and we tried others that eventually bombed because they just weren’t catchy enough. Oh! Asswhore. I’ve always liked Pig f*#k. Oh, and the best one – Face f*#ker – used in specific cases only. That’s a lot of “f” word, sorry.

I must say I AM NOT A DIRTY GIRL, but I do love a good cursing session every once in a while. And it was fun making them up with Lola. It reminded me of being 13 and still wanting to play with barbies. You’re too embarrassed to bring up that you still like playing with barbies (or making up cursewords) and then somehow your friend starts it up before you have to.

There’s something about a curse word that just perfectly accents your thought.

For example: J, was being so sweet the other day (like that's unusual) that I was just filled up with this incredible urge to tell him“I f*#kin’ love you!”. Well, I wrote it on our message board. Huh. I just said "our" instead of "my". Focus! When he read it, he raised his voice and reciprocated (the same way), the best reaction I’ve ever when using the “F” word.

And another – this came from a movie or book I once read. Can’t remember. The woman says that she’s at a friend’s house eating spaghetti. The friend was nice enough to cook dinner, and afterwards everyone is giving the usual boring thank yous and the woman walks up to her and tells her “Thanks for having me. That was some great f*ckin’ spaghetti.” I would see the truth in that sentence and blush with pride over my delicious dish.

Hmm. I’m sure I’ll regret posting this blog.